Be a Positive Parent !!!

An individual goes through various phases. As Shakespeare put it,

" All the world's a stage, all men and women merely players. They have their exits and entrances, and one man in his time plays many parts, his act being seven ages..."
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In a child's life, the first three stages of infancy, toddler hood and adolescence can be further subdivided to have seven stages:- Infant, toddlers, preschoolers, childhood, early adolescence, middle adolescence and late adolescence. By the time a child reaches late adolescence, that is the age of 18 and 19, parenting is over. Hence, it is all the more important that parents take positive strides in bringing up their child.

Its a dream of all parents to see their child grow up to be a responsible, lovable and exuding a dynamic personality. For doing so, parents go to any extent possible: They get memory enhancing tonics, add health mixes to milk, get rings and lockets to protect their child from evil eyes.... But while doing so, what most parents forget is that their children do not need all these tonics and health drinks (unless prescribed by doctors!!!); they need their parents' undivided attention and time.

In my thread on Genius in the Making (link is http://www.indusladies.com/forums/m...ius-making-first-two-years-5.html#post2011819), I have discussed the general expectations of parents from their children. I have also listed out the age appropriate toys that will help in the positive development of children. Yet, I feel that as parents we have a responsibility to be more positive in approach. Parenting is done by every parent, but it needs to be positive so as aid the constructive development of their child. For this purpose even a parent needs to be positive in approach. This cannot be done at once; it is an ongoing process.

Infants (0-1 year old)

This is a period when the child learns to use his/ her senses and starts developing at a rapid pace. Hence, during this year, as a parent:-

1.Talk to your baby. It is soothing to hear your voice.
2. When your baby makes sounds, answer him by repeating and adding words. This will help him learn to use language.
3. Read to your baby. This helps her develop and understand language and sounds.
4. Sing to your baby.
5. Play music. This helps your baby develop a love for music and math.
6. Praise your baby and give him lots of loving attention.
7. Spend time cuddling and holding your baby. This helps her feel cared for and secure.
8. The best time to play with your baby is when he’s alert and relaxed. Watch your baby closely for signs of being tired or fussy so that you can take a break.
9. Parenting can be hard work! Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It is easier to enjoy your new baby and be a positive, loving parent when you are feeling good yourself.

Toddlers (1-3 years old)

Toddler hood is the time when maximum development takes place in a child. At this stage parents need to:-

1. Keep reading to your toddler daily.
2. Ask her to find objects for you or name body parts and objects.
3. Play matching games with your toddler.
4. Encourage him to explore and try new things.
5. Help to develop your toddler’s language by talking with her.
6. Encourage your toddler’s curiosity and ability to recognize common objects by taking field trips together to the park or a bus ride.
7. Set up a special time to read books with your toddler.
8. Encourage your child to engage in pretend play.
9. Play parade or follow the leader with your toddler.
10. Help your child to explore her surroundings by taking her on a walk or wagon ride.
11. Encourage your child to tell you his name and age.
12. Teach your child simple songs like Itsy Bitsy Spider, or other cultural childhood rhymes.

Preschoolers (3-5 years old)

And now is the time for your little prince and princesses to start school!!! The journey of parenting is still on... During this phase:-

1. Continue to read to your child. Nurture her love for books by taking her to the library or bookstore.
2. Let your child help with simple chores.
3. Encourage your child to play with other children. This helps him to learn the value of sharing and friendship.
4. Help your child’s language by speaking to her in complete sentences and in “adult” language. Help her to use the correct words and phrases.
5. Be clear and consistent when disciplining your child. Model the behavior that you expect from him.

Middle Childhood (6-11 years old)

These years bring a sea change in a child's life. Formal schooling, new friends, and personal grooming. A parent can help by doing the following:-

1. Show affection for your child. Recognize her accomplishments.
2. Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—ask him to help with household tasks, such as setting the table.
3. Talk with your child about school, friends, and things she looks forward to in the future.
4. Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage him to help people in need.
5. Help your child set her own achievable goals—she’ll learn to take pride in herself and rely less on approval or reward from others.
6. Make clear rules and stick to them, such as how long your child can watch TV or when he has to go to bed. Be clear about what behavior is okay and what is not okay.
7. Help your child learn patience by letting others go first or by finishing a task before going out to play. Encourage him to think about possible consequences before acting.
8. Do fun things together as a family, such as playing games, reading, and going to events in your community.
9. Get involved with your child’s school. Meet the teachers and staff to understand the learning goals and how you and the school can work together to help your child do well.
10. Continue reading to your child. As your child learns to read, take turns reading to each other.
11. Use discipline to guide and protect your child, rather than punishment to make her feel badly about herself.
12. Support your child in taking on new challenges. Encourage him to solve problems, such as a disagreement with another child, on his own.
13. Spend time with your child. Talk with her about her friends, her accomplishments, and what challenges she will face.
14. Be involved with your child’s school. Go to school events; meet your child’s teachers.
15. Encourage your child to join school and community groups, such as a team sport, or to take advantage of volunteer opportunities.
16. Help your child develop his own sense of right and wrong. Talk with him about risky things friends may pressure him to do, like smoking or dangerous physical dares.
17. Help your child develop a sense of responsibility—involve your child in household tasks. Talk to your child about saving and spending money wisely.
18. Meet the families of your child’s friends.
19. Talk with your child about respecting others. Encourage your child to help people in need. Talk with him or her about what to do when others are not kind or are disrespectful.
20. Help your child set his own goals. Encourage him to think about skills and abilities he would like to have and about how to develop them.
21. Make clear rules and stick to them. Talk to your child about what you expect from her when no adults are supervising. If you provide reasons for rules, it will help your child to know what to do in those situations.
22. Use discipline to guide and protect your child, instead of punishment to make him feel badly about himself.
23. Talk with your child about the normal physical and emotional changes of puberty.
24. Encourage your child to read every day. Talk with her about her homework.
25. Be affectionate and honest with your child, and do things together as a family.

Early Adolescence (12-14 years old)

With onset of puberty and various physical changes, a child undergoes both mental and emotional turmoil. at this stage:-

1. Trust is important for teenagers. Even as she develops independence, she will need to know she has your support. At the same time, she will need you to respect her need for privacy.
2. Be honest and direct with your teenager when talking about sensitive subjects such as drugs, drinking, smoking, and sex.
3. Encourage your teenager to get exercise. He or she might join a team or take up an individual sport. Helping with household tasks such as mowing the lawn, walking the dog, or washing the car also keeps your teen active.
4. Meal time is very important for families. Eating together helps teenagers make better choices about the foods they eat, promotes healthy weight, and gives your family time to talk to each other.
5. Meet and get to know your teenager’s friends.
6. Show an interest in your teenager’s school life.
7. Help your teenager make healthy choices while encouraging him to make his own decisions.
8. Respect your teenager’s opinions and take into account her thoughts and feelings. It is important that she knows you are listening to her.

Middle Adolescence (15-17 years old)

Your teenager is preparing to test the waters of a challenging society. Parents can help in the following ways:-

1. Talk to your teenager about her concerns and pay attention to any changes in her behavior. Ask her if she has had suicidal thoughts, particularly if she seems sad or depressed. Asking about suicidal thoughts will not cause her to have these thoughts, but it will let her know that you care about how she feels. Seek professional help if necessary.
2. Show interest in your teenager’s school and extracurricular interests and activities and encourage him to become involved in activities such as sports, music, theater, and art.
3. Compliment your teenager and celebrate her efforts and accomplishments.
4. Show affection for your teenager. Spend time together doing things you enjoy.
5. Respect your teenager’s opinion. Listen to him without playing down his concerns.
6. Encourage your teenager to volunteer and become involved in civic activities in her community.
7. Encourage your teenager to develop solutions to problems or conflicts. Help your teenager learn to make good decisions. Create opportunities for him to use his own judgment, and be available for advice and support.
8. If your teenager engages in interactive Internet media such as games, chat rooms, and instant messaging, encourage him to be disciplined and respectful about the amount of time she is involved with it.
9. If your teenager works, use the opportunity to talk about expectations, responsibility, and other aspects of behaving respectfully in a public setting.
10. Talk with your teenager and help him plan ahead for difficult or uncomfortable situations. Discuss what he can do if he is in a group and someone is using drugs, under pressure to have sex, or offered a ride from someone who has been drinking.
11. Respect your teenager’s need for privacy.
12. Encourage your teenager to get enough sleep and exercise, and to eat healthy, balanced meals.
13. Encourage your teenager to have meals with the family. Eating together will help your teenager make better choices about the foods she eats, promote healthy weight, and give family members time to talk with each other. In addition, a teenager who eats meals with the family is more likely to have better grades and less likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs. She is also less likely to get into fights, think about suicide, or engage in sexual activity.

Children are like wet cement; whatever falls on them creates an impression. Hence, it is for the parents to decide what kind of impressions they want imprinted in their child so as to have a lasting impact!!! So, in HW Lonfellow's words,

"Let us then be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate,
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Lets learn to labour and to wait..."
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Thanks a lot. Your feedback is really a morale booster. This is my first ever blog. Will improve. Thanks again

 

Dear Anisu,

Thanks a lot for liking it. More will follow suit

 

Hi rkalpana,

Thanks a lot