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How to make him (DH) happy?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by jigyasa, Jul 25, 2008.

  1. jigyasa

    jigyasa New IL'ite

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    My DH has been mad at me for past 2 days. We got into a fight because of our families- he thinks my parents are interfering too much but I don't think they are- it is just that I have not been keeping well that they are concerned... anyways, we had a fight over it and I told him that his mom is nosey too and you know how that goes after that...so in short, he shouted and I cried and all that...I thought it was over the next day but he left home without speaking to me and has continued this for past 2-3 days. He hardly talks to me and you can almost see this anger on his face every time I try to get close to him or try to say something nice.

    I am wondering what can I do to make him happy and turn him into the wonderful man that he is? I been making his favorite dishes to please him- I have not argued since and keep a smile on my face around him... I dont want to say sorry because I know I am not wrong...but then it hurts to see him like that. A girlfriend suggested that I should get some really sexy lingerie and spice it up at night and that may make him happy but I dont know what will work really.

    Any pointers ladies?! What would you do?

    *Frustrated*

    ~ Jigyasa
     
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  2. lucullan

    lucullan New IL'ite

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    You know, you don't just say sorry when you are wrong! :) Of course you can say sorry. Sorry that you had an argument. Sorry is definitely a good place to start :) Sorry and a hug and a nice sparkling look! And your sorry should definitely lead into conversation...me and my hubby we always analyse things later and so many times we find out if was just a stupid misunderstanding. I am the one who says sorry first most of the time, and of course i am never wrong in my eyes...hehehe. :)

    I prefer to appologize even if i think i was right because i think being on good terms and happy is more important then the rest. Good luck!

    P.S. But i admit, making his favorit dish usually does the trick Big Laugh
     
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2008
  3. eagle

    eagle Bronze IL'ite

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    Saying sorry first doesnt make you any lower.Infact you will start respecting yourself more for what you did. Like Dr.Phil says, "Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?" Its your decision.

    Regards
    Shobana
     
  4. Saahithya

    Saahithya Silver IL'ite

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    jigyaasa

    If this is the first time it happened and if this is the first time you blurted out such words...there is no point in feeling that you dont want to say sorry....yeah out of frustration you also reacted just like your husband and said hurtful things....so say sorry to him and make up with a nice kissie...

    one more thing... but please dont make it a habit of blurting out such nonsense things and saying sorry and expecting others to forgive....just like us everyone gets hurt..and after few days...that sorry word wont have any value...it just becomes a word...sometimes when we are really sorry..even without saying it our actions can convey our feelings...so take time and think about it....

    i wish you good luck and may you both have a happy time forgetting all these silly billy fights...
     
  5. jigyasa

    jigyasa New IL'ite

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    Thanks for your input ILs. I can say sorry provided he is willing to do the same in return for hurting my feelings- he can not always expect me to say sorry..believe me, I have said sorry when I knew I was wrong and accepted my mistake...but the question is, how much should one compromise? I dont want to end up being a doormat....

    bonk~* Jigyasa *~
     
  6. Saahithya

    Saahithya Silver IL'ite

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    jigyaasa

    my catch on this would be....make your husband sit and you take the first step...of saying sorry to him and tell him that you wont repeat it again and at the same time ..tell him that you expect the same from him....and when you say you wont repeat it again pls mean it....because i feel you guys might have had the same arguments and discussions n fights over the same thing again n again ...beleive me it creates a gap..that small gap of misunderstanding grows into bigger one without notice one day it grows to such an extent where you cannot fix it..so dont let that happen...now the final decision is upto you...how you want to fix it..or drag it....i wish u good luck..
     
  7. santoshini

    santoshini Silver IL'ite

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    hi,
    U dnt wnt 2 continue this way right,take it for granted and do apologise to him afterall hez ur's y not make a first move.
    Mistake is not only on his side even u replied him back right,if u were perfect definetly u would have kept quiet but that did'nt happen so go ahead.as a girl u need to have some patience,avoid conversations which u think will lead to an argument.
    Once things come to normal talk to him,share all ur inner feelings likewise listen to him and start respecting each other's likes and dislikes everything will be fine.At the same time both of u make it a point to avoid such conversations.
    Its very easy to say bit difficult to follow i understand but once u get to know eachother well u'll have a wonderful life,
    Often couples fight only because of parent's issues or in-laws issues say atleast to 90% rarely they argue on things related to them it may look strange but i feel its the fact,do u also feel the same?
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2008
  8. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    JIgyasa... adding my 2 cents to other posts here...

    I faced a similar situation about 3 weeks back, and my husband and I were not talking! And we remained like that for almost a week! And after that, it was this huge burst and then we were okay. But the one week that we were not talking felt like hell.

    One thing I learned from that episode, both from my experience, and the adivce I was given by some members here is that you are never small if you are the first one to apologize, and mean it. Another thing I learnt is how important it is to put across your thoughts without crossing the point of civility, which is very easy to go past, because at that moment you are so full of anger, that you are intent in proving your point correct.

    I think what you should do is really go and apologize to him, and once everything is back to normal, you can tell him that just as he was hurt by something you said, you were hurt by somethings he said too. Put it across in such a way that it doesn't seem like blaming him, but just enough to make him think about it. He may not apologize or anything, but I am sure he will atleast think twice before talking to you hurtfully the next time. And the catch is you should exercise that caution too.

    But I think the sooner you both talk it out, and resolve it, the better. Because, the more you postpone, hoping that the other would come and apologize, the worse it is going to get. There is nothing wrong in apologizing. If he apologizes back..well and good. If he doesn't, well you are the better person ;-)

    And one more thing, this is my experience. Seducing your husband into talking to you, I don;t think really solves the real issue. Atleast, that's what I feel.
     
  9. lifeisbeautiful

    lifeisbeautiful New IL'ite

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    would agree that you are the bigger person if you apologise, but only if its not happenend too many times before. Wait for the mood to subside & say sorry sincerely. DH cant take whatthey dish out abt moms & parents. So he is still stewing. Also, if ur husd=band is the type who stays angry for a longer time, I wont suggest spicing things up too soon, maybe ur the best judge of when. Ofcourse making up is good, but let tempers cool down.
     

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