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Fraility Thy Name is 'not' Woman

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Sheebavinod, Oct 22, 2009.

  1. Sheebavinod

    Sheebavinod Gold IL'ite

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    Finest Blog of October 2009 - Winner!

    I have wanted to write about this incident but procrastinating for reasons unknown to me. This incident took place in the year 2007 while flying to Dubai to join my husband. I was excited to the core for more reasons than one. I was joining hubby after a month or so and then, this was my first air travel. The anxiety coupled with excitement was quite thrilling. I boarded the aircraft, settled down on my seat, a window seat. As I was traveling alone, had no idea who occupied the seat beside me but soon forgot about it as I wanted to savour every minute of my new experience. A woman in her early forties (my assumption) took the seat beside me. She had a pleasant countenance coupled with a calm demeanor. After exchanging pleasantries, I started watching a movie and soon the stewardess started serving dinner. There was a big mouth sitting behind us and I could hear distinctly whatever he was ordering from the stewardess. He was more interested in the alcohol than his food and I guess he did have more than what he could take. He was one of those lousy fellows who think they can go on having drinks in the flight without any restrictions. I hoped he would not create any scenes after losing his senses. In an hour’s time, most of the passengers were sleeping as it was past midnight and I resumed watching the movie.
    After sometime, I felt something poking at my elbow through the cushion that I had placed behind my back. I thought it was a figment of my imagination at first so I let it pass by. After sometime I saw something moving towards the lady’s arm who was sitting next to me. I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was a hand, slowly making its way through the gap between the seats towards the lady who was fast asleep. I was dumbstruck and did not have a faintest idea as to what was going to happen and how was I going to react towards it. The hand slowly started gliding over the lady’s arm, the fingers faintly drumming her arm. I was shocked at what I was seeing and soon started moving in my seat to distract that hand that was most welcome on that lady’s arm. It soon withdrew in a lightning speed as if it was caught red handed. I knew I had to act so I prodded the lady who, was oblivious to this entire sinister incident; or so I believed then. She woke up and I told her what I saw and her reply shocked me even more and made me feel like an idiot. She said something incoherent and then she said “What to do, such people never know how to behave’. That is it; this is all she had to say! And then she went back to her sleep.

    It was so disgusting to endure the entire drama but then what could I do. The victim itself did not want to react, encouraging the moron who would have considered himself lucky to get a positive response for his cheap advances. I got up and walked towards the washroom and thus broke the bliss he was in. On my return, tried looking over the seat to see the bloke but to no avail as he was reading newspaper or pretending that he was. After sometime, I felt something trying to grope me and this time I knew what was coming. The dunce was trying his luck with me and before I could turn around to give him a piece of my mind, it was announced that all were to put on the seatbelt as the flight was beginning to land. That moment I saw a stewardess walking towards one of the passenger, I beckoned her to seek help. I told her the cause of my uneasiness and she said she will call the right person who can deal with problem. Again, I was dumbstruck. Wasn’t it her responsibility to soothe an irate passenger but it looked like I was asking for too much. So I turned sideways as much as I could as the seatbelt was restricting my movement and did something I never dared do in life-I created a stir in the passengers by creating a fuss. The goon hid behind the newspaper and his fumbling hands gave away the fright he was experiencing. He never in his wildest dreams would have thought that he will be facing a retaliation. By this time, the plane was descending, so I settled down till it taxied and came to a halt. Before the doors opened, the people had already lined up in queues to get out and the goon got away in that crowd. I lost him; did I expect him to stand apart from others and wait to hear himself being questioned by the authorities? How naïve or foolish could I get? But again this was my first ever flight journey. He vanished as I stood there feeling utterly helpless.

    As I walked towards the exit, I found the airhostess conversing with some of her colleagues and the instant she saw me, she said-‘This is our senior officer and you can complain to him’. I just looked at her for one long minute before I turned my back towards her and walked away. In half an hour’s time I was with my husband and few family friends who had come to receive me. The excitement of joining my husband and seeing all friends drowned the incident for the moment and it was only when we got home that I told my husband what had happened. Apparently if I had complained to the airport police the time I got out, they would have tracked him down. The rules are very stringent in this country particularly when it is a case of dishonoring a woman. The implication would be rather severe. However we decided to forgive him as well the airline staff for not taking appropriate action.

    Hopefully the klutz for sure will think twice before making advances towards any other woman in the future, as this experience would have given him enough fodder to think that not all woman keep numb and act dumb under such situations, this thought brings solace to my heart. What irked me more was the response that I got from the air hostess. Was her duty restricted only to ‘serve’ the customers on board? She didn’t offer any help nor showed any interest in my complaint. One of my friend who works for the same airline informed me that the customers can complain about the air hostess if their service was unsatisfactory. They can be sacked depending on the degree of irresponsibility on their part. How many people would be aware about this? If I would have known either one of the information beforehand, the guy would have had the toughest time in his life and the air hostess for sure would have been suspended. To be frank, I was angrier with the woman who didn’t react and raise voice against that guy. Obviously he felt encouraged and tried his luck. If she would have responded, he would not have tried for sure. We have to take a stand and stop such idiots from making cheap advances towards woman. Lets stop being a silent spectator .Once women stand up and raise their voice against eve teasing instead of keeping quiet and bearing the humiliation, every guy will think twice before making any kind of advances towards a woman.
    Now if someone tries his luck with me next time in flight, I know exactly what I have to do and he better beware because he wouldn’t in his wildest dreams know what is in store for him.
     
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  2. asma747

    asma747 Senior IL'ite

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    The airhostess should have taken the action against that
    person. I don't know how dare he did that and how much you had to tolerate. Indeed you went through tough time.
     
  3. knot2share

    knot2share Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Sheebs
    This is the first thing that I read as soon as I log on in the morning and anger boils in me honestly. I want to use all colourful words to address those disgusting specimens in the world. I can imagine exactly what you had going in your mind. It takes me back to the time when we had similar experiences on the bus when we used to go to college. It was a torture. We used to create stir among passengers, but then it used to be new characters everyday to tackle. I can't understand the lady sitting next to you and the airhostess... You know what it feels like at the moment ?? Like that worm kambli puzhu arichhu kerunna poley......eeeeeeekks feeling. You are right, we should not keep quiet and teach such jerks a lesson. Calm and collective way of making them understand does not work.
     
  4. megh

    megh New IL'ite

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    dear sheeba
    u reminded me of the torture we gals endure during our collge days when we used to travel by bus...such stupid fellows...
    once a similar thing happened to me...

    a man was jus sticking on to me even thought thre were enough space in the bus...
    i shouted at him and said"maari nilkke" ,stand aside.
    do u knw what he siad?? "bus aayal tattinuum muttinum irikum..vishamam aanengil car il poyikko"
    i felt so bad,sad,depressed,etreme anger,hatred for such men........and no one came to my support
    even nw wehn i think of that incidents my blood boils...
     
  5. amihere

    amihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear, thanks for posting the blog, thanks because I had encountered such incidents in public bus but not on flights. So now I know what could be done if I have to face one. In bus this is something which never dies, some guys take advantage of the rush and if we complain the response is “there is such a rush, so it is obvious that sometimes we touch by accident (!!!??) , else travel by a car.” So then onwards I stopped complaining and started acting. Sometimes it is so difficult in bus to find the owner of the hand , so I always keep a safety pin handy and if someone takes advantage of the rush and gets into that nasty action, my pin will let him know the pain.
     
  6. manchitra

    manchitra Senior IL'ite

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    Sheeba
    I too wanted to write a similar post but you have gone ahead and done it, so i will add to it. Kerala though Gods own country. we find many devils there (All keralities excuse me, I also belong to the same place). especially in buses . I have encountered many situations like this and like megh said no body comes to the victims help. so we have to to speak or act for ourselves. once traveling by a bus a young boy's hand started groping my side thinking i would keep quiet because of shyness. It took me a while to understand what was happening as I never expected a boy half my age would dare to do something. He had thrust his hands thru' the gaps of the seat, so i just held on his wrist and crushed it and didnt leave his hand. I also turned and asked whether he has mother and sister at home.But not a single man in the bus raised his voice , these kind of things are very rare in other states if at all it happens he would be lynched. At the next bus stop he jumped out of the bus and i could only here one person saying 'shame shame', is that all the reaction expected for this kind of behaviour. My sister too had similar experience but before she spoke her hand spoke. Ask any women in Kerala she would have these kind of stories to tell. Whether it is in bus or plane or rocket man should learn to respect women. Our laws are not stringent hence these things are going unabated.
    My hands are twitching at the thought of the episode.
     
  7. jils

    jils Bronze IL'ite

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    hi sheeba ,
    breaking silence in such situations is the only way to deal with these kind of people .
    like chitra said ..... there had been so many instances where we have encountered such people .
    i have heard ladies carrying saftey pins to poke these kind of idiots .
    a similar incident where i had to take out a metal spatula and wax knife ( thogh small in size these instruments look wierd and scary to the less known people ) from my college bag to scare the person sitting behind me in the bus , and to my surprise i was successful......
     
  8. sreedevikan

    sreedevikan New IL'ite

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    Dear sheeba
    i always feel sad when i read this type of incidents. i feel why people in such position stoop down to such pervert levels . i think you remember Gills incident . even people in that position have their perversions.
    Even if you raise a hue and cry people may not change. It will be just become a juicy incident for co-passengers to talk for some time and forget .And victim may carry this bad experience for ever in her life but the culprit who causes this uproar soon forgets and start once again after some lapse of time
    what we really need is every family has this type of black sheep who can be noticed by near and dear ones and they should take steps to give psychological counselling to cure such type of perversions
     
  9. bindhusubi

    bindhusubi Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Sheeba,

    This indecent activity is not confined to any particular state. Many of my friends from other states have also shared similar experiences. I don't know what mental satisfaction they get from these filthy activities. during my college days, i don't even remember one day that i haven't carried my safety pins in my bag. Many a times i had to use this in crowded buses.

    Now we have to be careful in our flight journeys also:bang.
     
  10. Sheebavinod

    Sheebavinod Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Megh,

    Thats such a disgusting act on the part of that pervert, its sad that inspite of taking an action, no one comes forward to help. Atleast you can be at peace with yourself that you did act and not kept your mouth shut. We need more girls like you dear:thumbsup
     

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