What is Ego? - Part II

infinitehopes · Jul 31, 2009

I am back again to write the sequel to my earlier post - What is Ego?

I heard this definition of Ego in the Art Of Living Course (Please read Disclaimer below).

It says "Ego is anything that keep you away from mixing with others. This can be shyness, superiority / inferiority complex, dislike etc."

This really made me think. In a way it shattered the foundation of my fundamental belief that "Ego comes only when we feel that we have something the person does not have." And hence, to prove that we are better because we have something more than others, we react by ignoring, belittling other, trivializing important things and so on.

So this new definition means, if I have stage fear, its ego - coz it keeps me away from the gathering of people. If as a girl, I don't make the first move to talk to a guy, that becomes Ego - because I am shy and hence its keeping me from talking to a guy.

What do you think friends? Do you agree? Pour your views. I am really interested in understanding this in detail.

Disclaimer: I do not "worship" human. I can consider him / her as great people, but not God. Hence like every individual's views, I respect Sri Sri Ravishankar's views. In life some things just stick better than others. This is one of them.

knot2share · Jul 31, 2009

Oh god !!..........I have maajor Ego problems in that case !!
Count me in too with you.

radha_chennai · Jul 31, 2009

infinite hopes,
thats a shocker to me ,i too thought ego means feeling better about oneself than others.also i too don't like worshipping humans ,just consider them great.
radha

smiley2009 · Jul 31, 2009

Hello Infinitehopes,
I read both of your posts of 'Ego', then I started to think. What does the Ego mean?
Then some where I recalled, that everyone has and will have ego. If we say he is a human being, then we say he has Ego, he has to have Ego. And what we mean by that, is the following definition.
Ego could mean one’s self-esteem; an inflated sense of self-worth; or in philosophical terms, one’s self. However, according to Sigmund Freud, the ego is the part of the mind which contains the consciousness. Source: Wikipedia.
Then I pondered, and ok let me explain..
It is 'Me' or 'I' in simple words. If someone asks us to do a petty task, a thought peeps in and says "Why should 'I' do it?", This 'I' is called as Ego, which is peeping in.
Ofcourse that does not mean Ego is not good at all. It is required by every indivisual to survive. When this becomes too much, we call him/her 'Egoistic'. When the concern for 'I' becomes too much, and when we start feeling 'I' am good and others are not and start putting down others, we say it is egoism.
Philosophycally, what am I ? I am someone created by God and his the one who is the 'Doer' through me. I am just an instrument through which he does things. And when we think this we are in alignment with God/ nature etc and that Gos is within us.
And when we say 'I' am doing everything and 'I' am in control of everything, pushing the God out of ourselves then we say, Ego has interfered between me and God, and 'I' is coming in between.
And also thinking good about ourselves is NOT ego. It is just loving and accepting ourselves as we are.
What do you say?
Another thing: You have got a very beautiful username. I liked it very much. It is so inspiring.
Warm wishes,
Smiley

infinitehopes · Aug 1, 2009

Ha ha.. dear knot2share ! Sounds like the chair was just pulled while you were sitting on it! ))

I know, it was an awakening for me. And the more you think, the more depth you see to it.. So enjoy exploring.
I think what it helps in - is removing subjectivity from the term. Earlier, we would experience that what one feels is an ego - can be defended by other as "need" to do it.

But here, by making it so simple, it becomes easier to attack. Isn't it?

infinitehopes · Aug 1, 2009

Dear Radha,
Thank you for visiting the blog. I guess you and I are like most others - in this respect. But this thought changes the whole perspective and now you may want to look at it differently. I am hoping it will help.. what say?

BTW, thank you for reciprocating my views about "worshiping" human. I was worried that some people may find it too high-headed.

infinitehopes · Aug 1, 2009

Dear Smiley,
I am really excited by your analysis and can't say enough about how true you are. I think there are some words have connotations - and they almost become synonymous like Ego and Traffic.

What I mean is - Traffic actually means vehicles on the road. It doesn't mean "jam-packed" roads. So the real use of Traffic is "more traffic" or "less traffic". But now we use "traffic" for anything to do with packed roads.

The reason I am giving this analogy here is same applies to word Ego. And I want to thank you for bringing it forward - because its almost forgotten by now. Yes, I agree, Ego actually means a "sense of self" - equivalent to "Self-Esteem". So in this case, "Self-Esteem" has positive connotation and its always been seen in good light, where as "Ego" has negative connotation and hence not considered good. Some English teachers here may want to pitch in. Ego is required - but in moderation. But when it crosses the limits, that's when we start having these problems. And so I think the thought I shared here is referring to the colloquial use of Ego.

Probably you already know all this, but I just wanted to share more on it. I think you have analyzed it very well - in terms of how it starts tipping to the other side and becomes worse. Thank you for your very thoughtful response. Ego in moderation is good and required - because it will be same as "self-esteem". Right?

And, thank you for the note on my ID. At that time, I really needed to acknowledge that the fact stated by my ID.

ushaviji · Aug 5, 2009

To me ego is the most disturbing aspect present in all of us. The more we deny, stronger its presence. It is our own creation and only we have developed it. We have manufactured ego and because we love it, we dont want to give it up. Ego is necessary, but when "I" goes little overboard then .....

infinitehopes · Sep 14, 2009

So true Ushaviji!
Denying we have ego - is an ego in itself - right? The ego is "I don't have ego" - like a circle.

Now look at me - I wrote the line "some more thoughts, ladies?" - then I erased (backspaced ) the line because my ego was preventing me from asking for more responses. I felt like "all those who found this topic interesting / thought provoking have given their response. So if other's don't want to, why should I ask? If they want they will come and give f/b." So this was preventing me from asking that question. But the way "Ego" is defined in my blog - I could immediately sense it as an ego and thought of asking the question anyway !!

So ladies, any more thoughts on this?

vimala1957 · Nov 26, 2009

The word Ego, directly refers to a sort of pride(negative) in the colloquial use. So that way,there is a difference between self esteem and ego. Self esteem is very much required in a human being, but sometimes, one doesn't realise when the self esteem changes off to ego. Similarly, stubborn -ness in a child, if not corrected, slowly takes the shape of an ego in him/her by the time he grows up.

There are examples of down to earth people, known for their simplicity and principles, who cannot move a decimal from their beliefs, even when it is a need of the time at a particular point. Because of their being so unadaptable to a situation, others have to bear extra burden of things, or they are left out of certain activities, that would have definitely brought them some good experiences. Heart in heart they themselves may realise this, but their ego of being simple and a person of principles, keep them away from that .

This is just one example of what I wish to say. While pride, stubborn-ness and the like are a cause of ego, traits like simplicity also when practised in extremity, leads to ego. So it all depends on one's own thinking and reasoning.

Coming to "keeping oneself away from others is an ego" might be right in spiritual terms, but is difficult for common people like me to understand.