MyBlog- 24 (Man-Wife and their responsibilities at home!!)

Pragmatic · May 12, 2009

Ah this morning I called up my good old friend 'shriya' to find her whereabouts...she is a mother of 6 yr old and a homemaker. After regular chitchat I sensed that her voice is dull n depressed. I asked her the reason and she replied with a fake giggle ..."nah! It just that I am tired" .
After casual talks we hung up and I switched to television ...after few min my cellphone buzzed again... I picked up the phone, It was my same friend shriya n yeah her voice was pale...I made her comfortable and pleaded her to share her concerns with me ....
It was the same old 'ghar ghar ki kahani' ....Her husband is not cooperative at all. She solely takes care of the kid, house, grocery n numerous other things at home. And they have been arguing since long time over this. Her husband's favorite point is that he is working hard to earn for them and hence he has no time for household chores.
Her little complains were : Her husband is of no help with the kid. He will not organize his clothes, he will not even keep his plates after meals, He will not get the grocery even on sundays........n the list goes on!!

I consoled her by telling that may be He has too much of work pressure these days and the moment he ease out at work, he can lend u a helping hand again.

Shriya started sobbing...She said ...Its been 8 yrs of marriage and its in his habit now.. moreover he has been telling "that his dad never did any household chores ..they why should he do!" He don't even take family out for vacations, picnics. He is inactive socially , no friends , no relatives. He spends no time with his kids..all he does is to watch tv or browse on laptop.

All in all ..As a couple, His only role is to be at work , come home , watch tv, eat and sleep and the same routine continues even on weekends and holidays...

I was speechless, did not know what to suggest my friend. It kept me wondering ...In the era when women is also working , why do most of the Men still hold this notion that since they work and earn for home , they are not responsible for anything else.

I always felt that a Couple means "A pair of people who live, work , smile , enjoy and share responsibility together.." but in case of shriya it does not hold true..

pshirisha · May 12, 2009

Is Shriya working woman...
if yes then it is the mistake of him that he is no helping...
if she is not...
already he wil be tired of office work then how can she expect him to work.. cannot she handle alone...

One thing is here he has to take her out atleast once in a month.. this is not fare from his side...

Padmini · May 12, 2009

dear,
very much surprised to know that even now that type of person exists. now adays men have become so cooperative in all respects. they want to see happiness in their better half face, i am still wondering. hope he will change.
with love
pad

dblakshmi · May 17, 2009

Dear Prag,
I would suggest your friend to sit and talk with her husband. First of all one should communicate. Maybe he is really very busy not being able to share the daily chores or maybe he is really not aware that he can give a helping hand as he has not seen his dad do so. The only way is to make use of the available household help and make her husband understand the scenario. women definitely need support from their husbands to run the family smoothly.
regards
Lakshmi

ruby1952003 · May 17, 2009

hi im new lite Ruby some times this episode comes with most of the wives.dont take it serious.It happens to me also.Although the husband is wrong but still wives bear it because there is no other choice .Every thing will be fine with the passage of time Have a big heart.

thozhi4u · May 19, 2009

Hi , my opinion is , even though wife is not working it is not solely her responsibility to take the entire house hold.Husband is also part of the family.Going to office is okay but he should share some daily house chores like taking kids out to play park, helping kids in homework, doing laundry, cleaning the house, dishwashing, groceries shopping, vacation planning etc's I am not telling to do all of them ...He can choose some daily chores after his office work...It depends upon once interest level...One of my friends husband helps her in cleaning the entire house like vacuuming wipeing cleaning dusting basically he is interested in housekeeping .My husband helps me in feeding my little kids for dinner , chops vegetables...It doesn't mean he has to do only office work and he is earning and he is the head of the family ...World is changing and men and women are equally treated with respect in and out of the house.I agree, still some people r out there but... all i can say to such people is to come out of their EGO world and treat wife as a human being, respect her feelings , help her when she needs him, be there as a friend.So people its all in our mind...What i want to say to wives who are suffering is "Change your focus and Dont focus on him , ask him if he can do the work whenever needed.Just remind him like a timer, and just leave it ,dont argue ,dont beg ,dont demand, just ask him if he can do the chore but dont keep on bugging him for ex: can u get me the list of groceries whn u return from office" , and give the list, its upto him to get it ,if he dont get it then just do it by urself ...hang on there, pray to god to change his heart. but dont fight or argue, talk politely whtever issues you hav, tell him its hurting and leave it ,carry on with ur work,move on with life.Have good friends around and share ur feelings and get advice and emotional support.Life is beautiful, dont waste it focussing on negative things , look at ur beautiful kids, they are going to be with you only for few years then they hav their own life and work so enjoy with them , do whtever is possible with you , automatically in few years he will change his views and he will join you, he will understand you.

Thanajmaan · May 31, 2009

thozhi4u..
i think thqts q gr8 idea too!
keep asking...can u...can u..
one day ...some day...he's going to realise how many can u's he denied!!! if he has any skin at all...he'll realise his mistake and correct himself! but then again...he's a man...so he might just think.."huh...see...i shut her up! u cant play with me..me tough guy!!"
girl...be independant..to hell with the helping hands! be strong enough to let him know that if he's sooooooooooooo tired after doing an 8 hr shift...u r stronger...u do an 18 hr shift, and still have the energy to sleep with him!!!! we women definitely are a stronger breed!!!