Is only the wife resposible for maintaining the family balance?

pavithrasriram · Nov 28, 2008

dearest chith,
what a lovely post and so many different comments!!!!!
this is a hot topic whereever i go..
i have noticed that NRI's abroad dont mind helping their wife with domestic chores or baby sitting.infact there are some families where i have seen the daddy takes care of the kids for few hours so that the mother can do what she likes for sometime!!!!!
But in india for some reasons men feel "its not their job"
to lend their hand for domestic help or with the baby!!!!!
I personally think that there are good things like this which we can learn from the west.
this whole travelling has definitely broadened our vision and has definitely helped us become better individuals.
luv
pavi

sunja · Nov 28, 2008

dear chitvish,
i fully agree with what you expressed.but i must say that only females have that much power to keep the balance in the family.if we give this task to males that is only totake 50-50%balance also there will be a chaos in our relationships with everyone. however successful a male is and even understanding also but at family front they cant keep any balance. only we females have that power and doing all this only we females can give strength to these males to become successful too.
HATS OFF TO FEMALE SQUAD:clap

sangvidu · Nov 28, 2008

dear Chitra Ma'm,
Nice post.

Somehow even when a balancing tool has 2 sides to it, when it comes to family, society puts more weightage only on the women to tolerate all sorts of behaviour and bring a sense of balance...We have a long way to go for this kind of mentality to change..Am just hoping it would change atleast in the future when children of this generation get married...
love
vidhya

Chitvish · Nov 28, 2008

Pavi, hypocrisy rules high among our negative virtues, sadly! I know of men who proudly say that they cut vegs at home every morning. But their neighbours comment that the man is hen-pecked! Unless our basic outlook changes, certain things cannot improve.
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Nov 28, 2008

Yes, Sunja, a woman has the intuitive bond to keep the family united. But she cannot be taken for granted & should not be expcted to dance to her spouse's tune, even if he is unreasonable!! She must be free to take her own decisions, when it comes to family problems and not under force.
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Nov 28, 2008

Dear sangvidu, as you rightly put it, woman is supposed to be the "sumaithangi" as we say in tamil!!
Love,
Chithra.

Chitvish · Nov 28, 2008

Dear ragini, the emotional strength of a woman can never be taken for granted. But it is sad that , as an individual, she is taken for granted!
Love,
Chithra.

shobhithak · Nov 28, 2008

Hello Chithra mam,

Another thought provoking post from you:thumbsup.

Life of a woman changes drastically after marriage. She does undergo lot of changes - physically, mentally and emotionally. On the other hand, hardly do we notice any change in a man after marriage. The situation will be much worser when she lives in a joint family. She not only have to comprise/ adjust with her husband but also with her in-laws to maintain harmony of her inner self as well the family as a whole.

If we can convince ourselves by saying that we have a generation gap with our in-laws which is why our opinions differ with theirs; why do we end up with lot of misunderstandings with our DHs. Why can't they appreciate and value our opinions & feelings?

I strongly belive that a wife has an upper hand in maintaining the family balance. But for her to take that responsibility, she must have a DH who not just understands her but also understand her as an individual and appreciate her values.

Best Regards,
Shobhi.

radha_chennai · Nov 28, 2008

Dear chitvish mam,
I too used to think of this issue of 50-50 partnership and realised its next to impossible to change our men's psyche. Only thing we can do is cultivate better values in our sons and make our DILs' life better .
regards,
radha

Chitvish · Nov 28, 2008

Dear Shobhi, it is not always that the spouse can be understanding - he can say the same of her! Let me be frank, if both individuals are self-willed, it is not easy for them to cmpromise on principle. But, let me tell you, inspite of that, life can go on normally, provided one does not become touchy for everything.Absolute give & take, that too, without making a big hullaboo of it is a must.
Love,
Chithra.