What is my SIL greatness? Am I unable to understand anything?

Dear op,

Start praising your SILs dh more often comparing him with your dh. Praise his attitude of allowing time for wifes rest and exercises. Visiting them could give you plenty of such points to you.Couple of comparisans, your dh would learn to control his mouth better.Keep off your SILs daughter to avoid any blame game from her in future.........just maintain it openly.

The knack to deal with inlaws is to take them in your stride upto a limit and then when they cross it you had to let them know its not acceptable(in the manner they could understand). Most of the time instead of serious talk the funny one liners reach the goal with the inlaws .When your dh starts praising his sis comparing you with her ,just laugh directly and declare him as the "best kiddy brother a sister has" or " wow you 2 siblings stop ganging up on me" .............the comment may not be harsh and you would also feel good about voicing your feelings.

Next time drag her into the kitchen to guide you through recipes if she makes too much complaints and ask/allow her to show you her housekeeping prowness..............anyway its more fun than having your dh in the side watching you sweating it out and praising his sis for her coolness.Do it again and again till she gets wiser and starts praising you ,believe me its a foolproof idea. One of my SILs complained about the size i chop the onions twice(i chop diff than her mom) ,the third time i handed the knife to her to do the chopping ...........thats the last i heard her complain about any part of my cooking.

Buy similar gifts to both your mom and MIL and declare openly that you earn and is proud to love them both equal(and to pay for your own tickets).If she comments anything about you spending for your family just tell her not to behave old fashioned and tell her to change her attitude as its not good for her daughter to grow thinking herself inferior than male.

I could relate to most of the inlaws gang attitude and the singing praises of the daughter.........,but what should bother you is;

1. The manner your inlaws& dh uses it to coax down thier superiority towards your family.

2.Trying to control you and your finances and making your family spend more.The inlaws are holding you from spending for your family and diverting the cash to be spent on them instead.And then your SIL ends as diverting favors to her side from your dh in the name of "DUTY".

Concentrate more on your finances and the way your parents and relatives get treated.

 

i know i had also faced it ,in my case my cosin sis uset to do it " you r fat join gym , look at me " i was so angry i shoot back " look yourself first" but she had a reply" i am like this after one kid" but i stopped treating her well ,she understood even i firmly said it" apne kaam se kaam rakko" after that she dint pass comment

my point was simple i know i am little healthy n i will loose it but dont comment or body shame me ,i gusee she got msge clear n loudly