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Wife to quit job to teach husband a lesson

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Jazmine83, Jan 28, 2016.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Do they live in the U.S.? File taxes jointly? If they do, and she is signing the tax returns with him, she can request IRS for a copy of a previous year's returns. https://www.irs.gov/Individuals/Get-Transcript

    Though in long term, working on transparency in finances would be better than going IRS route. Not sure how the tax filing thing works in India.

    Yes, very important. More important than decorating the house, getting a promotion, having kids, inviting people for dinner.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    I was in your friend's shoes sometimes back.

    Ask her to continue to work, but refuse to share all her salary for the family. She could take a loan for investment. Plan a savings or insurance or whatever so that 3/4 of her salary will be gone, already.
    With the remaining, she can share for the household expenses. Enjoy her personal care.
    So, her salary will be balanced.
    She should repeat the same despite of any hiccups that may arise.

    This will eventually make her husband to pitch in to balance their life. He would be hesitant immediately, but if she is willing to make a happy life with him she should be ready to invest a lot of energy and patience to correct him.
    With constant trying, he may change. My husband has changed too.

    Once things fall in the right place, both can enjoy the good investment and spending together.
     
  3. RedFlower

    RedFlower Silver IL'ite

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    My husband used to spend so lavishly for PILs and BIL. Even I postponed baby to get financially settled and thought he would understand that they are taking advantage over him and using him for everything. No use of waiting.

    Now I am pregnant, my DH has started thinking about us and our future. He has restricted himself on spending.(Even though there are a lot of things to be changed) Ask your friend to start the TTC journey or do any investments as others have suggested. Things might change for sure.
     
  4. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    First of all I appreciate you for taking so much of initiative to post your's friend's problem here.

    I feel she should not leave her job just to teach a lesson to her husband. Why she want to punish herself for the mistakes her husband is making? Her parents gave her a good education and bcoz of that education she is in a good job. Why she want to spoil her career just for her husband.

    In my opinion - she has to stop giving money to her husband. If it is a joint account, then its better to open a separate account for her salary without giving any rights to her H. Leaving her job is not a solution for this problem.
     
  5. 12adityas

    12adityas Bronze IL'ite

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    She should not do it, and certainly not to teach him a lesson. The husband will still buy that iPad, but will stop spending on some other needs that will affect her. It will only backfire.

    Instead, she should keep her income separate from him and retain control over income fully and tell him, that she is saving for buying their house and for his future child.
     
  6. JShreenath

    JShreenath Senior IL'ite

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    Angie,
    Perhaps you both could follow the prosperity jar method and commit to it. He could take his share of the savings and do whatever he want with it but you can take your share of the savings and invest it. But once you focus on prosperity jars , there's one jar that will focus on spending. So if you can get him to commit to the plan then it will work. I can share with you the details. Perhaps you can google it too.
     

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