Medical Termination at 22 weeks

Shri211 · Jan 28, 2016

Hi friends,

It has been a horrible start of the year for us. About 3 weeks back, on our 20 week scan we were informed that our baby has severe congenial heart defects. He was diagnosed with heterotaxy syndrome, (a very rare form of birth defect 1 in 10000- i guess i would never be comfortable with the odds in future). This overall resulted in multiple heart defects.

We consulted multiple doctors and cardiologist, only to know that the little one will have to go through multiple surgeries for which the success rates are about 70%. Also with all the surgeries, the baby may not live beyond 20-30 years. His life would have not been normal like other kids. He may have lot of immunity issues.
This news left us completely shattered as I had a very normal and problem-free pregnancy till 20 weeks.
After the whole lot of consideration, my husband and I took the heartbreaking decision of terminating my pregnancy. We got the amniocentesis tests done to find the possible cause. The reports are completely normal. When asked the doctor for the cause, she said there seems to be no reason for this, its just random and bad luck.

I am 30 and it was my first pregnancy. It has been about 10 days since termination. the termination was like normal delivery, where we got to see the little one. He was just too perfect, wish I could have kept him with me for lifetime. I have no idea how I will cope with this. It has been emotionally exhausting, can't stop crying and I feel guilty for letting this happen to my little one. I don't know if there is something I could have done to avoid this.

Doc said we can try again after my first cycle, but I am too scared now..losing the baby has been most difficult and I certainly won't be able to do it again.

vaidehi71 · Jan 28, 2016

Hi,

Regret that you had to go through this situation.
Heart wrenching for sure.
You are not the cause and neither is your husband.
Sometimes the things are pretty much out of our control and the cause is unknown.
You made the correct decision, rather than bring the soul and make it suffer. It is a very rare condition for which you had told that the expert opinion advice is not favourable as well.

So focus your attention on other things in life. Definitely you would have a healthy baby in future. Look on the positive side of life and divert on things you enjoy.

Take care,
Vaidehi

Dreams · Jan 28, 2016

I really don't know anything about pregnancy and loosing your child , but after reading your post I couldn't resist replying to you. Just hang in there and time will heal your pain. I wish you get lot of strength to pass this phase.

soumya234 · Jan 28, 2016

I am very sorry for your loss. Hugs and wishing you loads of strength.

CoolPie · Jan 28, 2016

Hugs to you.

I have had three failures in pregnancy, still couldnt stop trying as I wanted a child. Now I have a girl baby. Not saying this to just console you, but you should slowly get over and understand that there is always a life after any sort of failure. It is difficult to accept, but one has to move on. There is no use in brooding over the failures. Just concentrate on what needs to be done next.

This is the time to watch good movies like 3 idiots, Black, tare zameen par to get inspired again. Watch some more movies of the same kind googling. Also read inspirational stories and books so that you get back to a normal mind soon. Yes, after crying a few times, I did only this. Just try it. Something has to keep us going.

Sometimes it takes 3-6 months to heal the uterus and get back to the old condition. But concentrate on eating healthily and living an inspired life. Try to consume fruits in empty stomach, particularly pomogranete and nuts like almonds, walnuts etc.

Consult a naturopathy doctor or read naturopathy tips online and begin with a fresh diet. There are ayurvedic medicines like legiyams that can improve your chances of success next time.

Remember,
Failure is the stepping stone to success. The same soul might take birth in your womb soon with a healthy mind and a healthy body. All the best to become a mom soon.

sugugiri2010 · Jan 28, 2016

Hi op,

Sorry for your loss. I know how hard it would have been to you. But please do not try a pregnancy soon after a month. Its important for your uterus to heal, esp when you had to take the foetus out like a normal delivery. please give a minimum of 6 months gap, i know its hard but it will be good for yourself and for a health pregnancy further.

Consider the following steps:
1.take prenatal vitamin supplements
2.take plenty of fruits and green vegetables
3.Take foods with high antioxidants
4.increase your intake of water
5.relax and take some rest.

Hope you get well soon.

28neha · Jan 28, 2016

Shri!

Sorry to hear you loss...i understand your pain...

you ppl have taken right decision,just think after delivery how your baby would have suffered from lots of surgery and all for life long..At that time it would be more painful for you both...after few days your baby will come with physical and mentally strong,for that you should be strong now..take care of your health ..eat more protein and prepare yourself for next pregnancy..All the best dear

Shri211 · Jan 28, 2016

Thanks friends...your replies are certainly soothing. Some of you ladies have commented about the same baby coming back to me with a healthy mind and body, that is exactly what I have been thinking ever since the delivery. Giving up the baby was like ending the beautiful journey that had just started. ...
Everyday in my prayers, I pray God to have my baby back in my next pregnancy.
There are days when I m horribly depressed, crying the whole day..but some days I try to gain some sanity and convince myself that it was for my baby's good.

teejay · Jan 28, 2016

Dear OP,
What you suffered is something i wish no woman would have to go through. But please find solace in the fact that you made the best possible decision - both for yourself and your child. Please take time out to heal your body as well as your mind before you try for a child again. May god bless you soon with a healthy LO. My prayers and wishes.

msms · Jan 28, 2016

Dear @shri211,

Very sorry to hear about what has happened to you. But don't feel guilty at all, you have taken the right decision as others said.. It was not in your hands. I believe that the moment, the time for everyone to come to this world is already decided by god. Your LO will also come in your arms on that decided moment with a healthy body ad healthy mind. Just hang in there and wait for that moment..... I know its better said than done, but we have to move on. God bless you!