1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Pls analyze and tell me!!!!!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by kimmy, Jan 21, 2016.

  1. kimmy

    kimmy Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear all
    Me and my lover fight a lot, love a lot, crazyyyyy abt each other, in our 30s.

    His character- very very loving, caring, funny, straightforward, possessive, jealous, controlling, anger, insecure since he is fat and dark(as he mentioned, i am fair and slim), cant be without talking to me,

    My character- loving, caring, subtle, give silent treatment during fight and stop talking for days, mild temper and timid

    We just fight too much, is this worth continuing ? So comfused.

    He made me remove people from my fb list and made me exit whatsapp grps since he didnt like me chatting with guys which he says gives them wrong impression (creepy married guys have sent flirty messages and he says its best to stay away from social media. He is not active in social media)

    During fights he yells so bad, then we patch up and he gets so emotional and cries. I am always on roller coaster. I love him a lot, feel very special otherwise.

    What to do????? Guys also pls respond...
     
    Loading...

  2. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,866
    Likes Received:
    4,388
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Common i feel, and made me smile :)

    I dont want to do postmortem in each and every point, over all i felt common.

    May be jealous, but not doubting you (because they have better idea how men thinks)

    Based on your post, i feel jealous, and he wanted to turn you completely to him.. A feeling of she is completely mine..

    Anyways in real life it may not true, think other aspects.. Habbits, mindset, behavior etc..

    what to do- Fight with bad qualities, Remember good qualities
     
  3. Lakshmipav

    Lakshmipav Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    181
    Likes Received:
    89
    Trophy Points:
    68
    Gender:
    Female
    why do u fight for those creepy guys with ur loving one .. He is more worth than ur fb what's app group .. So don't take these things serious .. He is just concerned about u I feel ..
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. meVaidehi

    meVaidehi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,177
    Likes Received:
    669
    Trophy Points:
    208
    Gender:
    Female
    Looks to me like the basic most important thing is missing in your relationship - TRUST.
    Trust is the backbone if a healthy happy relationship. Attraction, love is the begining. But once you settle down that he is the one for you and you are the one for him, you need to have the trust and comfort level with each other.
    You should be removing creepy weird people from your contacts by yourself. And he should trust you enough to not bother about such things coming between you two.

    So you should be asking yourself and him do you two trust each other completely?
    Do you know for sure that you are a strong and steady couple?
    Do you feel comfortable enough to give each other space?

    If answer to any of these is NO, you have a problem.
    Good luck
     
    3 people like this.
  5. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    5,955
    Likes Received:
    11,421
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Those flirting creepy guys should be out of your group anyways. Why did you wait until your boy friend orders you to get out from such groups.
    You should be very selective when it comes to enjoying social media. Else, you will be taken a ride.
    Your boy friend is right. Perhaps, he thinks you are so immature; hence you need to stay away from such risks.

    Your long silent treatments, and over confidence about your appearance against his's would have made him little insecure, jealous and possessive about you a little too much.

    Long silent treatments are rude. It confuses the other person.

    Other than this, I don't see any major red flags here
     
    2 people like this.
  6. kimmy

    kimmy Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Its not just creepy guys, even when i chat casually with my guy friends he is furious. He assumes they might get attracted to me :(


    Sometimes during fights i need breathing space, so i just keep quiet till anger goes away but his character is he just yells and makes me hurt if he is angry. Being silent is better i think
     
  7. Gjcoolady

    Gjcoolady Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Female
    This guy is insecure and will never trust you. You will always find yourself explaining to him...why r u late, why u talked to so & so. He may yell/hit . Think!!
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Hyral

    Hyral Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    474
    Likes Received:
    439
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    I have different view to give than what some of the ladies here had to say.
    I think , you should frankly talk out to this guy of yours that , such insecurities wont be healthy for your relationship in long run....
    I mean just imagine , tomorrow if he starts feeling insecure of your cousins (male) then?
    also, why cant we be friends with opposite gender? Definetly, I myself would distance myself from male frds irrespective of married / unmarried who would try to flirt with me....coz That is total no no for me....and If you both believe on eachother he shouldnt be asking you to delete frds from FB/exit from Whts app grps...
    today you are okay with it but tomorrow if you are not Ok will he understand?

    Please try to explain him...his controlling ways on you is too much...
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. kimmy

    kimmy Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    69
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    38
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes exactly, tomm if he doesnt like my brother and me having close relationship he might ask me to cut.

    Whom i keep or cut should be my decision. Even though he is very loving, his control on me and what i should do, whom i talk is annoying.

    Also the yelling is scary too. I prefer to talk or take a breathing space but he wants to yell/fight/resolve immediately
     
  10. Lathasv

    Lathasv IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,358
    Likes Received:
    3,911
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi@kimmy
    He is insecure about his looks that leads to possessive and jealous on you.He needs to build up trust on you and give personal space for yourself otherwise it is not good in long run.
    think about reasons for your fights too.. All the best ! :)
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page