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how to make realize my careless husband about my feelings?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by madhu26, Dec 27, 2015.

  1. madhu26

    madhu26 Junior IL'ite

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    Hi i am new to Indus ladies. Here i want to share i am married in 2013 staying with my husband in Singapore now. I am very caring and loving person and i am expecting some care from my husband. he is the only child for my mother-in-law. After marriage he spends more time with mother-in-law only. He is in IT job mostly doing shifts so only few hours time to spend but he didn't even care about my feelings and in every matter he wants to share with his mother only even our personal matters also. before marriage is OK but after marriage he is still mama's boy. one day i told him about my feelings but he didn't even care about me and he told me that he will share only with his mother. After that i spoke to my mother-in-law she is also tell the same thing. she always thinks that my son has to listen my words only.i Don't like that she involves in every matter.Everyday my husband called her and talk minimum 3 hours but he didn't even spent time for me.I always feel alone.and now i want to separate from him but recently i got news that i am pregnant. I don't want to suffer my child between us. So please help me how can i change my husband. i Really want some love and care at this stage.
     
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  2. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    You can not force others to be their confidant. It takes years of trust and feeling comfortable with you.

    Stay patient and listen to him attentively without any agenda. Meanwhile, develop your own hobbies and stop paying too much attention on what he is doing on his free time. I am sure, there are moments he needs you, treat him well as 'man of the castle'. Instead of waiting for his attention, shower him with your kindness and love unconditionally, as his mom does.

    One thing, our parents fail to teach us on 'how to act' according to the situation. For some, it comes to them naturally. It is nothing but act of kindness.....it takes time to gain someone's trust.
     
    sindmani, BDivya and madhu26 like this.
  3. madhu26

    madhu26 Junior IL'ite

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    I have been patient and wait for him for one year.This one year i am alone and i concentrate on my carrier. After i conceive he is very happy now i am 8th month but when he know the gender its baby girl he totally changed a lot he didn't even ask me how i am..One day i spoke to my in-laws and my husband they told me they want baby boy first. We are a traditional family my in-law told me that i didn't do prayers properly that's why this thing happened. i know elders will think i understand but my husband also believe same thing that one hurt me a lot.Now they are thinking second time they want boy...When i told this problem to my parents they suggest me leave him alone and be gap between you both. I didn't even see a little change. Now i am in India came for delivery. He didn't even call me from 2 months on wards.
     
  4. aniya

    aniya Senior IL'ite

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    it seems you have already made up your mind, so go ahead and leave him not just for how he is giving more importance to his MIL but how he is treating you in pregnancy, that is unacceptable.
     
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  5. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Madhu,

    I am sorry to hear rest of things from you. Doesn't he realize, he is responsible for 50% of the baby?

    God's sake, he is an educated man. If I were you, I will make him sit down with your doctor to "listen" about making babies.

    It is time, you stand up for you baby and yourself.
     
    sindmani and sing like this.
  6. msindu

    msindu Bronze IL'ite

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    why did u look for baby gender? its illegal in india. and what is wrong with girl child tell him that girl children in fuuture will demand males to pay dowry
     
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  7. madhu26

    madhu26 Junior IL'ite

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    When I am in Singapore 5 th month doctor told me gender in foreign countries it's not illegal
     
  8. madhu26

    madhu26 Junior IL'ite

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    But I still love my husband I am waiting for him to call me and I leave him because he has to realize wife is also important
     
  9. Sun18

    Sun18 Gold IL'ite

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    Since you're pregnant - don't think -ve thoughts.

    Those who're more happy when carrying their child, will have their children taking birth would be more healthy, intelligent and lot more.

    And those who're feeling bad - might (might only - not must) have some problems in their children.

    so, now you focus on happiest things. Focus on the happiest moments you had with your husband.

    Giving birth to a child is a blessing. Don't waste your time by being in -ve mood. Enjoy this blessing time.

    (If you don't believe in what I said - our mood reflects our life - then, read the book "The power" by Rhonda Bryne.)

    Wish you a great child and great life with your DH.
     
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  10. catwalk

    catwalk Gold IL'ite

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    You both meet a clinical psychologist first. This is for behavior corrections and to realize him that he is married. He has some responsibilities towards you. As it looks like, he has taken everything for granted.

    I do not see a need of separation in this case, There are no serious issues that cannot be resolved.

    Do not let strangers to indulge in this matter.
     
    sindmani likes this.

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