What should be my next step?

Hi snehaljoshi
Being perfectly normal having Sexual urges is quite common ,forget about the mistakes and lets think of brighter part first.
he loves your daughter that assures he will definitely take good care of her ,
In Whatever way you pressured him he went to doctors,proceeded with treatments.
You mentioned his situation may be psychological,did you ever think of this??
Too much pressure in a relationship aggravates sexual impotence,now that you have a baby why not talk on simple terms rather than taking hasty decisions,its not that i m asking you to sacrifice your best part of life but all i want to say is sex is just a part of life and definitely its not life.
What if he becomes completely normal in few months and you wont hsve the same urge that you had before as in post pregnancy its a very common to lose libido??
Now if he challenges you inthe same way what are you going to do?willyou leave him witj the same two options,
Marriage is mutual understanding between two different persons its not that one is superior the other inferior ,try to help him as much as you can to overcome his problem,ii m sure yu both will succeed.
You are concerned about your tiny one and only for this particular reason you are willing to stay with him, please be selfless...!
Planning to leave him after 16yrs,if time favours????just realize how your mind is playing with you instead you can workout in helping him and once he comes out of his insecurity you bothcan lead a contended and happy life,
I always believe marriages are made in heaven and we must atleast try our best to succed before giving up ,who on this earth can assure 2nd relation will be rocking ,
I dont know if you will like my post but all i can say is please dont give up before working out things in a positive way ,
God bless you,good luck

 

Can you reverse roles here. Imagine after marriage you had difficulty having kids and your husband would be perfectly normal ( may be with high libido). What if your husband would have planned to leave you because you can't bear him a child.
i'm sure all our feminist folks would have come to your support with scathing barbs for your husband.
with your situation I don't think he is impotent but he has a lower libido than you. If he was impotent then you would not have gotten pregnant first place. Not sure what to advise you but I can tell there are many couples with differing libidos. I am not invalidating your feelings but I feel what you are doing to your husband is unfair.

also, often times, you are free to make choices but you are not free to escape the consequences of your choices. You have made the choice to bear a child with him, knowing fully well that child deserves a father's care. If your urges were of higher importance to you then why bring the child( does not sound logical). You are now living the consequences of your choices. Your child having safe home with a loving father at the cost of you not having happy sex life.

I can can tell for sure the alternate options you are considering like getting a second husband or extra marital affair will not lead to a happy ending, neither for you nor your child.

 

Hi Snehaljoshi
I guess 5 years is too late to take this decision. My sisters husband is also having similar problem and she divorced him before having baby.
Now that you have a baby, you have to think of baby too along with ur future.
For your baby, being in this relationship is best. Nobody can take better care of her other than parents.
I can understand what you might be going through. Discuss your situation with Your DH. Tell him your feelings. See if there are any signs of improvement. If there are no such indications, find someone from your friends circle or relatives who you think can also take care of your child along with you.

 

Future is always uncertain. You think about the worst things that could happen and compare it with the present situation. Then make a decision. Do not take decisions based on others opinions. Others share their experiences or experiences from their known circle.

May God Bless you,

 

Focus on being a happy and content human being (despite your circumstances). Give him some time to also be happy and content (despite his limitations). Both of you focus on the child for a while (few months) without bring up past or rubbing off on each others faults or pushing one another's sensitive stress buttons. Let both of you enjoy whatever else life has to offer (outside of sex). A happy, content and self-sufficient person is the most beautiful and attractive person. Give both of yourselves that opportunity to become that. See if things improve. May be things will improve. If things still don't improve after maybe 12 months, you can think about what next at that time.

 

You can't live this life forever you will reach a breaking point so don't wait till you reach that point. If you want to stay in this relationship you have to normalize the relationship, you have created a barrier with your DH now you have to break this barrier, have a open talk and don't bring the topic of sex, talk about how you can work together to live like a normal coupe, find common things that you both enjoy and work on that to build your relationship, you are at a very critical point in your life so if you want to stay in this relationship you have to work on it.

P.S: If your DH is impotent you can still find ways to satisfy each other and be happy, but you have to normalize your relationship with your DH.