How to react to Mil's bad comments

milaani · Dec 21, 2015

Hi ladies
from last 2,3 months i was preparing for exam.my dh lost his job.I was trying to help him as well as me.So i start studying and take coaching in my city as my parents also live in same city so i spent some time there bacause at inlaw place i dont have any convience and Pil call me again and again due to some work even if iam studying.So i dont get time to study there.but unfortunately i did not clear exam as result is announced.now dh is outside and Mil is taunting me that i have spoiled money and she is saying that i should bring max marks in exam as i was studied.i dont know what is her problem.my exam and hubby spent money and why she is taunting me at this moment of time when iam already upset.iam really upset with her wording.should i tell dh about Mil Wording or not?????pls suggest me.for more info pls read my previous posts.

beingloved · Dec 21, 2015

Yes, you should definitely inform your husband about the unfair treatment you are getting.
If you have the guts, reply her directly that you are already upset with the result and would like to work even harder for next time rather than hearing such comments

milaani · Dec 22, 2015

Thanks beingloved....i already replies her that exam was tufff and it was out of syllabus too...but her basic problem is why i went to my mom's house for coaching as she already know i dont have any vehicle at inlaw place and my whole work is on laptop and i dont have personal laptop also.i used my mom's laptop and father' s vehicle for coaching preprations....she knew it ..then what is the point of her comments.taunts me many time and spoil my day.her daughter failed number of times in medical entrance that she dont remember but only thing she renember that i dis not clear exam.dont know what to do with her.

generic · Dec 22, 2015

OP, give her back properly...Say that being an elderly person she should encourage and pray for your success instead of taunting and being happy with your failure..Especially since you are doing this to help your husband, not some third person.
No need to give explanations like, exam was tough, out of syllabus etc..
Ask her whether she would treat her daughter in the same way if her daughter fails in any exam? You also have a good reason not to stay with your in laws if u attend coaching classes in future.

milaani · Dec 22, 2015

Thanks generic....she can only do these things like pray and encouragement to her son and daughter....for me rules are different....if i say any word to her then she create drama in the house...i dont know where the hell she come from....how to tackle this type of Mil??????

riya123 · Dec 22, 2015

What exactly is your mils education? How exactly does she consider herself qualified to belittle you. You are at least making an attempt to fix things and what is your mils contribution to fix her son's unemployment problem. Don't take crap , hit back right in her face by telling her how useless she is in solving issues and that you are at least trying to solve her unemployed sons problem.

milaani · Dec 22, 2015

dear riya123....ur point is good...my education is more than her.....i have done master degree whereas she is bsc....but her contribution for son's progress is zero....she shows to my dh that she care about him a lot.

Hyral · Dec 22, 2015

Ya so you should definetly tell your DH....only after hearing few words from him....like first you hear what are your DH's views about your exam result...
For eg; if he say its ok...work hard next time than in that case you just say thank you...for being so supportive of me , i expected ur support...however I have disappointed MIL (ur mom) who said to me that all money spent is wasted and why was I at parents home...to this if he get angry tell that she is right etc...just tell him....that in this phase when am already upset I seek support the kind of support you give...and yes if required than only give eg of ur SIL failing in medical exams.

EG; 2 ) - If ur DH at first place reacts badly...just tell him....that you gave ur best and getting bad results doesn't prove you are not capable....also tell him as a life partner I seek support and affection from you....and yes here also you may add what your MIL said....

to your MIL you can tell her next time when u meet her or talk ot her over phone in nicer way....thank you Mummy ' your scoldings have inspired me to study very hard' am sure you would have scolded in same way to 'SIL' xyz whtever name she has when she failed in medical exams to make her clear.....PAUSE and wait for her to reply...if she says...no i was nt required to tell my daughter....u ask her back than why me???am I different from ur son and Daughter??? ask this politely again

All the best