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To Make a Child Read by Himself

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by Gayathri67, Jul 23, 2015.

  1. Jul 23, 2015 #1
    Gayathri67

    Gayathri67 New IL'ite

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    Hi,
    My son is in the fourth grade. Actually he is a good student but the only problem is that he does not read his books by himself. I have to sit with with and teach him his lessons.
    Some times I can see that he is not concentrating even when I sit with him. We have to go through the lesson again and again.
    If I give him the text and ask him to read he holds the book and stares at it without a word sinking in. When I ask him,'Have you finished reading?' he says, 'No,you teach me.'

    Sometimes when I tell him, 'you have to read it by yourself as Mummy has work to do,'he reads and is able to answer very well.
    I have told him so often that he cannot understand lessons merely by repeating after mother especially as he is in a bigger class.
    How do I make him read aloud by himself? Then only he can get the meanings,sentence construction and spellings right. But he does not bother.

    He gets good marks in his exams but I don't want this trend of mother teaching him all the time to continue. How should I make him learn by himself and concentrate on what he's been told.
    Often when teacher gives some work for the next day suddenly he remembers at home and says, 'Amma, teacher said we should do something! I am not sure what. I will phone my friend and ask!'
    Are there any yoga workouts to help in concentration. ? Sorry this is a long post,but I am getting frustrated.
     
    Gayathri67, Jul 23, 2015
    Gayathri67, Jul 23, 2015
    #1
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  2. Jul 23, 2015 #2
    poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    Typical kid, nothing to worry. Don't they give diary in school to write down stuffs for the parents like home works, projects, reminder to bring items?

    My kid was like that too. I understand, it is lot of work as the mother.

    I used to read with him and he just listened, half-hardheartedly. The competition with his friends at school made him pay attention to his grades. Eventually, by 6th grade he was on his own. We developed good bonding because of his studies and we were the team. I helped him, all the way through his high school.

    These days, lot of pressure for kids with their home work. The kids need help at home.
     
    poovai, Jul 23, 2015
    poovai, Jul 23, 2015
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  3. Jul 23, 2015 #3
    Gayathri67

    Gayathri67 New IL'ite

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    They give diary messages,that's not a problem. Sometimes teachers give instructions by way of passing. Guy misses that. I agree homework is heavy and in some schools the facts that even fourth graders (where my son is in)have to cram in are very heavy. Lessons are lengthy and questions are asked from within the lesson even minute details are meant to be remembered.
    My son says that one day in his van he was talking with a fifth grader and he asked the other fellow about Sunderbans(because the fourth had a test on it) and the fifth grader said, 'Why do you ask me about what I read in fourth? How can I remember?'
    That's what education i nowadays.
    Read it,Write it,Forget it!
     
    Gayathri67, Jul 23, 2015
    Gayathri67, Jul 23, 2015
    #3
  4. Jul 23, 2015 #4
    momsky

    momsky Gold IL'ite

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    hahaha, same with my boys and yet they expect me to know the answer of something i've learned more than 2 decades ago
     
    momsky, Jul 23, 2015
    momsky, Jul 23, 2015
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  5. Jul 30, 2015 #5
    ramyaveena

    ramyaveena New IL'ite

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    Hi friends

    I am an educational child psychologist...so Gayathri...i will try to help you with my inputs.
    I can understand your struggle very well..in fact i appreciate you becos nowadays we ask parents to let kids learn to study on their own...we can teach them till 12 th std then what will they do once they go to college...?

    Simply put,don't tell your kid that he has to learn on this own..that will freak them and immediately they will demand you to teach them

    Just how we weaned our kids from bottle to sipper...same way ..inch by inch move them towards their autonomy but with full support and be ready to help him but move away when he finds the ropes to learn on his own.

    Let me suggest one way of doing it...

    Teach them a question its concept...and underline key words and ask them to memorize those key words alone...now leave them for 10 mins and say amma will be back to ask those key words...to memorize those key word ...there are many techniques like loci ,association etc..check websites..simply take the first letter of every key word ..join them to form some word ...teach these techniques...kids love to do this....but do this well ahead exam time.

    once they have got the key words then ask them to make sentence with those key words...

    same way...extend this approach to bigger questions..

    Identify your kids learning style...there r many internet sites to find it out...then suit his style to his learning skill...

    You are right on path becos now a days we are getting college kids esp( eng) for counseling becos they are not able to cope on their own...their ego doesnot let them to ask for help..but inability to score good mark makes them insecure.

    We can help them by planning a schedule to learn,teach them concepts,help them memorize but donot keep sitting near them...then it becomes a habit.

    Its easy to do if he is your only child but with two kids..like me ,sitting with both kids will stress you out!!!
    But as friend poovai rightly pointed out as kids reach 7 std...i have seen lot of kids becoming more responsible...good luck..Happy Parenting!

    Regards
    Ramya
     
    ramyaveena, Jul 30, 2015
    ramyaveena, Jul 30, 2015
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    3 people like this.
  6. Aug 1, 2015 #6
    chandachourasia

    chandachourasia New IL'ite

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    Same problem with me also. My son is 4th grader, he also gets good marks but only with inputs from me- i have to read him and explain each and everything- concentration is so poor- he sometimes fidget with something or the other, always wants to play games on mobile on one pretext or the other. Just fed up of his habits, being working myself and with the other younger kid to look after as well, it at times become too frustrating. How to make him realize his responsibilities as now he is 9 years old, not a very small child that he needs spoonfeeding at every instance.
     
    chandachourasia, Aug 1, 2015
    chandachourasia, Aug 1, 2015
    #6
  7. Dec 16, 2015 #7
    vaishali13

    vaishali13 New IL'ite

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    Thanks Ramyaveena ...good suggestions
     
    vaishali13, Dec 16, 2015
    vaishali13, Dec 16, 2015
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