Don't you want to be 'somebody'?

Of late we have been receiving snippets about the need for appreciation, encouragement and viewing the same as a sign of respect and courtesy.There is no second opinion regarding the same. It has been proved that the feeling and intention that we can make a difference in the world -is the best motivating factor for success,which can be better achieved by encouragements.


When we appreciate others the psychology of 'projection' sets the stage.We are made to think of our own potentials that are hidden within us and by appreciating others we are attuning to our own creative potential -which is reflected in others.It is a blessing in disguise and accelerates our own development.



Let us view it in the angle of the person to be appreciated,



There is no human in the world who does not want to become somebody .Yes, it is an identity crisis.Nobodies are marginalized to the point of invisibility.Strangers ply us with questions like what are you?Who are you with?Where did you go to school?.Perhaps that is why parents queue up from midnight outside popular schools..


Recognition is to the self what nutrition is to the body. And like food, too little or too much can be harmful. Malrecognition has to be treated in the same way as malnutrition. We don’t always feel comfortable admitting it to our friends; it is embarrassing. But, secretly, the idea of being famous has great appeal..



When we imagine fame, we forget that it is invariably connected to be seen as the plausible cause for humiliation of certain others, especially when one of the two equally talented and efficient officers is side lined for the reasons well known to the management.The world will start scrutinizing the rubbish bags of the famous, and start commenting on their negatives.


Fame really just means you get noticed a great deal – not that you get understood, appreciated or loved.Even senior citizens who are supposed to have grown mature out of life experiences are tempted to contribute something, expect likes,reviews and responses . The social and electronic media trigger the lust for fame.


When somebody appreciates you liberally as a talented writer and you respond to him by 'thanks' it automatically means that you are not only acknowledging his/her letter but also indirectly amounts to getting somewhat elated ,though we may say that I don't deserve this etc etc.We see all these exchanges of generous encomia in the electronic media today.The party workers do the same for gains during elections.

Today’s parents not only want to become somebody but also be known as somebody's mothers/fathers --resulting in high unrealistic expectation on children.See the rush for’super singer’ contests! The final judgement is based on audience's vote, which some of the contestants are able to amass very easily in view of their contacts in electronic media.The 'like' votes come from the unknown who would not have even seen the programme.


The fame bug is extremely hard to stamp out as evidenced by the following. Some people evince interest in becoming famous even for simple things like‘I don’t take coffee or I am a teatotaller or total vegetarian.They believe that the only way to have their lives make sense is to be famous..




People with high self-esteem think they’re as good as others, whereas narcissists think they’re better than all others .When children are encouraged even for the little achievements ,they become too much elated, think too much of themselves resulting in number of psychological problems such as anxiety and depression.They feel superior to others, believe they are entitled to privileges, and crave for constant admiration from others,Anything in excess is too bad.



Fame goes to those who do something extra ordinarily well that others may not be able to do. Call it talent.

Fame goes to those who do something very bad, that few other people ever dare doing. Call it hard core criminality./sadism.Last year during Deepavali a ten year old boy residing next street lighted the cracker series into the post boxes and milk boxes of all the houses.All the boxes burst into pieces. What a sadistic pleasure! The boy became notorious overnight in the area and came to lime light.
Fame goes to those who through little effort of their own, have something happen to them that is news worthy. Call it accidental fame.The hero of the novel 'thuppariyum sambu', a Tamil novel by Devan is one such.
Facebook and Twitter responders on any sensitive topic capture media attention
within minutes,thanks to the mushrooming of electronic media.


Come December, we see a few smart people visiting many sabhas daily.They
relate themselves with stalwarts.They just captivate the attention of the audience
by exhibiting their capability in identifying ragas, discussing nuances of thani
avarthanam etc in a loud voice.One of our close relatives is first to
exhibit his knowledge of conducting both auspicious and inauspicious rituals,
giving a lecture about pandal decoration to how caterers cheat .He expects
himself to be allotted a lead role in functions. It is well known that he does not
have stuff.Yet people don’t want to hurt him as he longs to be’sombody’.
Even during Bhajans which are stated to be fully spiritual oriented,there is a
stiff fight for’lead singer’
.
Some hope to become famous by associating with celebrities. I have
seen an old woman boasting that M. S. attended her daughter's wedding
and sang during'oonjal' or somebody bragging that he was sitting next to
Sachin in the plane or showing everybody the number of autographs
stalked with them.

Even God is stated to be 'stotra priya;'-(one fond of being praised)
Why not ordinary mortals?
Famous is Krishna's words in Uddhava Gita
that he won't come for help unless specifically sought for. However this is proclaimed to be advocating the significance of 'total surrender' or'sharanagathi'.)


Our Thiruvalluvar comes to our rescue with the kural beginning with
” Thonrir pugazhodu thonruga’( You have to live with fame in this
world.Otherwise there is no use of taking human birth.If you don't have fame, it is better not to take birth at all).Whenever I read this kural I feel that the great Thiruvalluvar is canvassing for 'lust for fame',one of the six inherent enemies.

Is this one couplet not enough to be taken as a pretext under which
everybody can shout at his/her topmost voice “we want to become
somebody and we never want to remain as 'nobody'for ever?

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Syamala,

Thank you for your first feed back containing valuble points.There is no human being who does not get victimised by tributes.Many are fascinated by words of praise.Many kings were prepared even to gift their crown for being praised by famous poets.
King Bhoja ,a renouned Sanskrit scholar ,known for his high intellectual abilities,wanted to listen to verses composed in praise of him as if he were dead.
Kalidasa refused to compose, as such compositions would result in real death of the person on account of a boon given to him by mother Kali.
The king got angry. Kalidasa was banished. After a few years Kalidasa returned.The King who was in disguise could recognise Kalidasa, but the latter could not, Casually Kalidasa enquired about the king.
Bhoja wanted to utilise the opportunity and told that the king had passed away. six days back.Immediately Kalidasa broke down and sang eulogy on the death of the glorious king as under:

adhya dhaaraa niraadhaaraa niraalambaa saraswatee/
paNDitaa: khanditaa: sarvE bhOja raajE divam gate//

"Today, the subjects of Dhaaraapuram have lost their support on the
death of the King. Saraswati, the Goddess of learning finds herself
bereft of art and the artists"

The moment he uttered these words, the life of the King who was in
disguise departed leaving his dead body in the hands of Kalidasa.The poet wondered as
to why the King should have invited his own death by acting in
disguise and conveying the false news of his own demise. He prayed
to his IshTa dEvata, KaaLi who appeared before him and asked him to
repeat his Slokam with slight alteration and said that the King would come back
to life but for a brief 3 ¼ naazhigai (about 1 ½ hours) only.
KaaLidaasa sang a slightly revised version:

adhya dhaaraa sadaadhaaraa sadaalambaa saraswatee /
paNDitaa: maNDitaa: sarvE bhOja raajE bhuvam gate//

"Today, the citizens of Dhaaraapuram got back their good governing
King BhOja, and Saraswati's again became filled with great poets and
other artists who lived happily ever after"

The King came back to life as if waking from a slumber and the duo
became closer still. Time was short and they had to accomplish
something before the 1 ½ hours of life granted to the King.
Together, they decided to compose "RamayaNam" that we now know
as "BhOja Champu" after the name of the renowned King.Such was the lust for fame and the desire for being sung by great poets.

I get at what you arrive at. It is human tendency to love to be talked about, even if it is for a temporary period.Many would like to boost up their image with their temporary achievements.Barring a few real achievers ,many belong to this 'fame craving' category.
Even great scholars were after this fame.We cannot come to a conclusion that real achievers don't long for fame.
Jayasala 42

 

Dear madam Gita Sharma,
A wonderful response ,valuable to my heart.What you have written is 100% true.We have different phases of life in which we have different zones of comfort at various points. It is the ideal state where one does not bother whether he/she is appreciated/ignored/criticized and one goes on doing his own duties as what Gitacharyan Krishna has stated.
That is the ideal thing every one has to aim for but a rare possibility.Only a few have aims to reach that point.Many people may not accept that they want to become famous.But psychologists attribute this 'fame mongering' as an in built nature of every human being and it is not a condemnable one.

Ninety percent of the people, including the philosophical gurus they have some worldly aim, especially ,their aim is focussed towards fame.Even people who no longer are interested in money or wealth long for fame.Great Gurus are assessed by the number of followers or how famous their teachings are.Even great institutions are ranked as per certain norms in which the institution is famous, whether it has on its role famous faculty members, famous scientists or nobel Laureates to guide.
The word 'famous' is attached to many musicians, artists ,scientists and Economists and historians as well.
The word 'fame', I believe ,need not be associated with a worldly material achievement to be phoo-phooed.It has in its fold real ambitions, hard work and sincere efforts and service intentions also.
Of course there are many who run after cheap popularity about whom I have mentioned in my snippet.

Jayasala 42

 

Dear Viswa,
Your wondrous reply is of much value to everyone.I can understand and appreciate whatever your learned Guru has said.But problem is in implementation.We are not Jata Bharathas to ignore the tributes/criticisms.We have necessarily to find the truth behind the criticism and if real, we are supposed to rectify ourselves.Logically it gets extended to appreciations also, to get encouraged by the tributes and work towards further betterment, not getting elated by appreciations.
It is human nature to feel happy and encouraged by being apprecaited and feel bad when you are ignored.It is very difficult to be at ease thinking" Potruvaar potrattum, thootruvaar thootrattum"( let anyone appreciate me , let anybody criticize me;I am not concerned)Because man is a social animal and what society thinks about him is equally important.

I think you would have studied about the 'triangular theory',where mind, brain and environment are three different sides of the triangle.Your intellectual activities depend on what your mind thinks and and also the thoughts of the society.Mind depends on the vase of brain and the society.The society also keeps a balance of mind and intellect.In this scenario,it is very difficult not to get inspired by fame and disputes.
Regarding the Thirukkural'Thonrir pugazhodu thonruga-ahdilaar
thonralil thonraamai nanru"
the great Parimelazhagar, whose commentaries on Thirukkural are very famous ,has given the meaning 'If one is not famous, his taking birth in this world itself is waste".
He has not attributed the meaning as 'appreciable character' for the word'pugazh'.
Literally it amounts to the fact that one should become famous by all means and otherwise his janma is a waste.
Myself, on reading and re reading the kural on many occasions have wondered how Thiruvalluvar would have advocated 'lust for fame' as the main requisite for life in this world.
Someone might have read my mind, I believe.
Another author of recent origin, has given an altogether different explanation for the same kural.
He gives the meaning 'wealth' or money for the word'pugazh'.
The word 'thonral' is not treated as 'taking birth' as all earlier commentators have done.
This author has taken the literal meaning of'making appearance' for the word 'thonral'.
See. how he puts forth his concept.
If you want to appear before a poor or needy person, take some money with you and stand before him.If you don't take money, it is better not to appear before him than meeting him empty handed.
While Viswa is trying to find out the philosophical meaning behind the word'pugazh',this author makes the kural as advocating charity or service.
Who knows what Thiruvalluvar had in his mind.
Jayasala 42

 

Dear Priya Kathiravan,
No , Madam , I dont want to be somebody or anybody . I just want to be myself , what god made me , but that itself is so difficult , the world is always trying to cut and stuff people into preconceived shapes ,

There you are Madam.When we want to be ourselves( even ignoring the society) and don't want to be some body or anybody, ego becomes more predominant and we want to elevate ourselves and that is exactly what is meant by fame.It will be 'a better myself' for you , but 'somebody' for all others.Net result is the same.

Jayasala 42.