How Would you Treat your Future DIL?

maroon · Sep 15, 2015

Reading so many MIL-DIL issues on this forum always makes me wonder - so now that we ladies are aware of the MILs' recklessness and DILs' predicaments in general, how would the ladies (present DILs) on this forum with sons treat their DILs in future.

I do not have a son, but am sure those who do might already be thinking of the far fledged... For instance, a cousin sis of mine once told me, "I would never ever stay with my sons and would encourage them to go nuclear when they get married". With one of them in fag end of college, days are not far and it would be interesting to watch if she keeps up her words

My in-laws are fairly decent/not staying with us and by God's grace things have been going good with minor exceptions. But I always think about my daughter and how things would be for her in future. Would it be that all ladies would become enlightened by then and the future MIL-DILs would have mutual empathy and a good understanding (too good to imagine I know)? Or would the saga continue? I know this forum does not encompass the entire clan of future MILs but its sizeable enough to get opinions to see how we are headed in a decade or two from now.

So ladies time for some soul searching - how would you treat your future DIL?

abiramivalli · Sep 15, 2015

I will definitely be cordial and helpful to her and respect her independence. I will be most affectionate too but if she doesnt reciprocate I will just allow her to have her own space and see to it her actions doesnt affect my peace of mind.

shyamala1234 · Sep 15, 2015

I have no experience with my MIL (she passed away even before our marriage) But seeing the world and after reading so much about this relationship I want to follow these things.Give them space, let live, let go and do not interfere with their decisions. Friendly and cordial. Help them whenever they need. Never complain son about his wife. We can build a beautiful relationship. I am sure.
Syamala

kcb · Sep 15, 2015

I will definitely treat her the way how a fellow human being with feelings & emotions has to be treated...

Lakshmikishore · Sep 15, 2015

I will let my son go nuclear post marriage.
I will treat DIL like my son if she is reasonable otherwise maintain basic relation and would be reachable for their needs.
My PILs treat me same like their son and always helpful.

swt.charu · Sep 15, 2015

How would you treat your future DIL?
Click to expand...

My answer ... "With Respect" that is due to any other human being.

I personally feel respect is the most important ingredient to any human relationship... everything else can follow if there is mutual respect ... love, care, affection everything happens automatically..

this is irrespective of whether we live under one roof or live continents away.. living arrangemnets can never be a game changer (either ways)

jayasala42 · Sep 16, 2015

The possibility of staying under one roof may be a remote possibility these days.It would be better if congenial relationship is maintained at least for a few days they live in the same house.I think would be MILs being well educated and refined would treat their DILs affectionately and respectfully.

jayasala 42

Counseling · Sep 16, 2015

For a start, I will not put any conditions, eg wear only saree on festivals etc.
i will allow to be comfortable as she is.

iamsrihere · Sep 16, 2015

Firstly , I will not let them live with us. Then I wouldn't compare my life with my MIL with her life and me.

docathome · Sep 16, 2015

I think I would not encourage any of my children staying with us after marriage.. After marriage I want to recognise that they are now a new family and my sons responsibllity is towards them.. Of course I would expect him to be there for us as his parents but not by being dependent on my so s financially or forcing ourselves on them with emotional baggage.. I guess it would be easier for me cos I have a kind husband. And I don't intend to make my sons the. Fulcrum of my existence..I hope I'm able to do all this when the time comes..