Leaving USA..time to go back home :((

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by anika987, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Life before marriage(school\college age) is good in India and married life is good in USA. Hands down!!
    Moved to India(to stay with MIL) after 8 years of stay in USA. Uhmm..what can I say??
    Its going to be close to 3 years now, since I moved back...and I can say that I haven't started enjoying India yet. Reasons are new place(diff from hometown), new job, new language, pregnancy+kid, need to slog during festivals to prepare multiple items+ decorate house\puja room, entertain guests and their long stays, etc.
    But this pain def leads to gain. There is def sense of belonging , my patience levels increased, the constant comparison by relatives made me play the game with society actively, motivated us to make some investments, etc
    Good luck..just have patience and you will be fine.
     
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  2. Deepa2014

    Deepa2014 New IL'ite

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    Hi Anika,
    I can totally understand you. It is really scary to go back because we are scared of change. I am in the same position as you. I think of all the good things but still scared. I really hope that I get good friends when I move there because If we have good friends to hangout with then we can handle anything. Everything else we will get used to after sometime...
     
  3. annujp82

    annujp82 Gold IL'ite

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    2 years ago, when I packed up my house and decided to move to back to India after living in the US for 6+ years, my fears and trepidation were very similar to yours.
    I had been in the US, living the good life, being single and enjoying every minute. I owned a luxury car, lived in a 2 bedroom house with wood flooring and a generous backyard. I had friends, I went to parties, I attended concerts, I saw plays, generally had a ball of a time.
    Then, before I knew it, it was time to go back to India. My US visa had maxed out and I had a mandatory 1 year cooling off period to be spent outside the country.

    I was going to have to come back to India, and the person returning to India was a completely different person than the one who had left 6 years back. I was going to have to live in Trivandrum, stay with my parents, have no privacy, no single-girl travel plans and above it all, there was going to be pressure about getting married.

    I was terrified when I got back and I wasn't happy but I faked happiness for a couple of months, for the sake of everyone I loved. I moved in with my parents, learnt to enjoy the time with them, and learnt to set boundaries when I needed to be by myself. I made travel plans that included them as well, so we got around quite a bit, the first year I was back.
    I soon forgot how hard it was to sell my car in the US and not own one in India. I rediscovered how much I enjoyed bus rides with music in my earphones for company. I realized I had time on the weekends to attend dance classes, and it was so easy and cheap to join them here in India. I hadn’t able to afford them in the US. I missed having a beer at the end of the day, laughing at the English sitcoms on TV. I learnt to laugh at Malayalam serials instead, enjoying my mom's delicious tea.


    I couldn’t pin point the day when tides shifted, but after about 6 months, I was thriving and not faking it anymore. There were struggles, but I understood that I was matured enough to take them in my stride and not to wish that I would be anywhere but there. My parents were happy to have me around and we grew closer than we ever had been.
    Marriage discussions happened, grooms were hunted and approached, long phone calls were conducted and decisions to not proceed were made. During the emotional rollercoaster that accompanies searching for a groom, I met the man of my dreams. He was quickly elevated from the throwaway position of a long lost friend to the exalted can’t-live-without life partner.
    When the dust settles 2 years and 6 months after I landed back in India, I am living my dream today. I realize that I did not know any better, when I had proclaimed headily 2 years ago, that those days in the US were the best days of my life.
    The Universe works in mysterious ways, it is how you grow, swing and sway with the music that defines how happy or miserable you will be. A country, a job or even a marriage cannot save you from yourself, if you are doomed to frown through those gorgeous sunny days.
    Ok, this is where I get off my high horse!
     
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  4. pumpkin01

    pumpkin01 Platinum IL'ite

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    Good to know people had the same feeling which I am having now :) we recently moved to India after staying in UK for 10 years ..... finding hard with many things and reminding myself the reason we moved and trying to adjust.

    As someone said we are not accepting the change sometimes makes it's hard but I am sure with time we will be fine.
     

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