What is holding Indian women Back

Discussion in 'Working Women' started by devic, Jul 22, 2015.

  1. devic

    devic Silver IL'ite

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    @vedhavalli and @adinil, same is my case. Working only because of financial reasons and loan. Hence the post.

    Like @coolgal123 said we can hand in there till the kids are 4 or 5 year old.
    if we decide to have more than 1 then hang in there till the youngest kid is 4 or 5.

    Men who joined the work with us or after us would have reached a higher position than us by then.
    When both the parents are equally responsible for the child why is it that only the mother have to hang behind?
    I agree our emotions and maternity instincts are strong towards the baby than the father. In all other ways we are same. But still we lag behind.

    Like many said here, the men start looking down upon us after we come back from maternity leave.
    If we leave early from office, no one even consider there is some real emergency and that's why we are rushing back home. They only make fun of us saying we are avoiding work.
    When their own kid is in need, don't they ask their wife's to go early? But not able to accept it when a female colleague does it.

    After fighting for few times we also get fed up with this behaviors and tell our self, lets lay low for some years and then focus on career.

    Isn't this the reason why the Women in India are not adorning the leadership position in corporates?
     
  2. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    @devic , its the women who gets the joy of bearing the child in her body n give birth....so naturally if we want to have kids n career both then we have to take this factor in mind....
    In my viewd everybody had competion with oneself only....now thinking like this tht in 4-5 yrs people who r wth me will be aheaf of me leads to bring frustation only....in long run it doesnt matter at one particular poing who was ahead....talents do matter....
     
  3. jssd

    jssd Bronze IL'ite

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    Im a victim of 'what will society think - youre the elder of an all daughter family. If you are highly qualified it will be difficult to find a groom in our caste' etc etc...
    I was a univ gold medalist with 2 admit letters and a waitlisted admission offer (was told would definitely get in) in the top-10 business schools in india. And I walked away from them, as, simply put, I lacked the guts to go against my parents. Then settled for an IT job, went places, worked in a major bank project among many other, and walked away from it, to get married. Then post marriage, had to walk away from many offers, as my husband had a more demanding career (he's a medico and he was still training when we got married). I used to look upon myself as a victim, took me a long time to make peace with my situation. Really difficult to move from being financially well independent and then to take money from anybody, even my own husband. But we're financially secure. Kids have my full attention, its fulfilling for me. Going by the experiences of my girl-friends and some posters here, its really hard.

    The way I see it, only the full and complete support of the family - blood and in-laws, is the solution to this. I see no other permanent solution. Im an avid reader of the Women-in-power column on Times. This one came a few months ago:
    Why PepsiCo CEO Indra K. Nooyi Can't Have It All - The Atlantic
    I hold her in high-esteem.

    Also women need to stop beating themselves about doing everything and playing every role. Delegate, delegate, delegate.. Find right persons for all the jobs that you dont need to do yourself. Just because your neighbour makes her own pickles, you dont have to!!

    Just my tuppence worth....
    J
     
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  4. devic

    devic Silver IL'ite

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    @coolgal123, you missed my point.

    If I have to have a baby, we have to forget career, this is the basic mentality in India, and this is exactly what I am trying to bring out.
    And this is the major reason there are very few Indian women in leadership positions.

    If given a little more support from the family and colleagues, a bit more relaxed policies from the company, each women will be able to achieve better in career also along with taking good care of the children and family.
     
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  5. coolgal123

    coolgal123 Platinum IL'ite

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    This mentality is changing now people expect that a woman should work but yes support required from family is missing....they don't understand that even woman have the same deadlines and pressure as of man in office....reason may be one generation before not many woman were in workforce so they don't understand the office dynamics....now we woman will understand more when our dd or dil will be working...
    Working woman'S sON will see his mother working so will be more understanding towards challenges which his wife will face...
    Regarding company policies ....now in IT many companies are valuing their female employees nd retaining their female workforce they are making relaxing policies for females...
    So changes r coming though slowly...ours is the generation stucked in transition phase....we woman have to find our own way....
    I hope things would be better for my dds
     
  6. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    My career ladder has been very progressive, and promising that I will be in the top level very soon. It only considers my hard work, talent, work-life balance and the way I handle the office (I manage a team, and work with so many operational partners - they are mainly high level Government authorities and NGO)
    My management style is assessed not just based on the quality or quantity of my work, but the skills I use to get done the work on time.

    Having said that,
    I mainly thank my mother to be with me all the time regardless of all the hurdles she has faced.
    She made me a career woman, supported me to take up my preferred career. Not only that, she is still there as my nanny, so that I can leave my kids in the most safest hands on earth to succeed in my career.
    It demands frequent travel to long distance
    Frequent meetings out of the country
    Frequent late hr meetings, and what not
    But I worry nothing as my mom is there to take care of my children.

    Then I would thank my husband.
    Yes, just like him... I will be very tired after office. But we can't eat restaurant food all the days. It is not healthy.
    My husband helps me at the kitchen, and we make simple meals at nights. He doesn't make any faces if I ask him to buy outside too.
    Not just kitchen works, he helps me throughout.

    I thank my country, and specially the organization I work for:
    There is a rule that every mother should be allowed to BF their kids mandatory for 6 months. So we have maternity leave for 6 months.
    Then we have 2.5 hrs off daily as feeding breaks till the kid turns 1.
    Either we can commute, someone can take the kid to the office or we can accumulate it and take a day off in a week.

    Women's career would take a back seat during her peak fertile times. But now a days we don't produce 10-15 kids. Either it will be 1-2 kids in average, and that takes around 5 yrs.

    Our career starts from 25, peaks at 30 and it can go on and on till we reach 60.

    There is nothing wrong if there is a setback when you are around 25-30 or so, as you will be doing something better to develop kids.

    But the success of your career entirely depend on how your immediate and extended family supports you, as well as how the country think about women as an equal gender.

    Unless there is a positive change, nothing could be achieved.
     
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  7. devic

    devic Silver IL'ite

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    @SGBV, your experience is very good and sounds very motivational.

    And it again proved my original post.
    Your were one of the rare lucky women to have all the 3 thing which drags a women down the power ladder.
    You have support from family, 6 months ML and no restricted working hour policies.
    Most of us cannot even imagine completing the mandatory 9 hours in office because our mother in laws will make face when we reach home, leave alone travelling to far places for work.

    As @coolgal123 said the change is coming, and may be by the next generation every women will get the support from their family like SGBV gets.

    Hopefully all the IT companies will bring in changes so that Maternity leave can be 6 months and working mothers have relaxed timings.

    We can only hope, and wait for a brighter future for all working women.
     
  8. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    I really want to which company you work where you make the above observations . Specially the international travel .
     
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  9. armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    The main thing to hold back women is lack of ambition and motherhood.


    In many IT organizations the Maternity leave is unofficially 6 months . But once the child arrives on the scene , we long to get back to the child hence we are reluctant to put in Extra hours . You have few companies which are very women oriented and have good facilities to women employees but still after motherhood , children take priority hence they hold back and go on slower tracks .


    I don't attend any after hour socials even 1 in a quarter because my priority is to get back to my children . This was not the same before I had children. If work needs me I give extra time and family helps but for non critical work related events a strict no .


    For woman to succeed you need to have a good support system either in terms of family / hired help and how well you manage those support system . It does not work by expecting MIL/mother / hired helps to fully take over our roles at home . You Will still have obligations at home .




    it is wrong to expect companies to have lighter criteria for you just because you are women/mother and still expect that you reach higher levels . Who ever reaches top man or woman puts in more effort and makes certain sacrifices to reach that position . If one is willing and build support systems you can go further .


    I have seem seen a woman top executive who said she returned to work after a week of delivery, I have seen women going onsite alone leaving children behind in husband, family care , they are successful and happy. But many times these decision bring guilt of leaving children , it is how you manage this guilt will help you along with your ambition to reach higher positions .
     
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  10. Gauthu

    Gauthu Bronze IL'ite

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    True very true.. I saw our before generation women to be very intelligent , hardworking and posses good management skills... yet they had to stay home.. What was holding them back? The same reasons mentioned.
     

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