feeling very lonely , feel like ending myself.

srajitha · Jul 10, 2015

its been ages that i have been happy , i am doing my best to divert my mind by playing with my kids , watching some comedy sitcoms , talking with people(not staying alone).

there has been many things which are happening , when I went for delivery of my 2nd kid my husband did many bad , stupid things behind my back , when confronted he said sorry and will not repeat , I am heart broken every other week I see something or the other , I am getting scared whenever weekend is near , he is working with this lady who is older than him she is constantly bad mouthing about me near my hubby and he is not responding in a protective way , he saying when they are face to face he is scolding her , during these fights he is beating me using abusive words , I want to end this relation but I am thinking about the future of my kids. I feel like going somewhere , I deserve love , faithfulness , and some time with him. I have tried to end my life but was not successful , I tried to kill my kids oh god I am worst mother living .. I dont know what I did why he changed so much... I dont know what is m future how will I takecare of my family.. I am trying to be strong when my parents asked him he was using abusive words on me and my parents said its your choice of guy now you have to bare it. when I told it to my inlaws they said you are reason for his behavior and whatever that is happening... I feel so alone helpless unable to control this situation . I am just praying god to give me strength to takecare of my kids , give me some piece of mind.

vaidehi71 · Jul 10, 2015

Hi,
Please do not do that. You have two kids who are entirely dependent on you. I am really not sure what your problem is to help you. But whatever it is do not end life. Be positive. try to avoid any argument with your dh and if you tell some details we could help with advise

srajitha · Jul 10, 2015

after returning from delivery I saw his nude pics sent to another female and even she has sent his , i saw there chat conversation in which he was asking her to come home , it was a sex chat .. that was with one female. ALso returning from delivery I saw empty bra box when asked him he said its of that older women who happen to change herself before going out on a trip with him , where as her house is in the same city.
I constantly see this older women saying i love u , i missing u , i know u r in pressure , your wife is...... your wife has done some black magic on u , you are not caring , i confronted this women she says she didnt do. she puts stupid posts on social networking sites targeting me.. when i have asked my hubby about it he says dont care , dont eat my brain and when i try to make my clear he starts beating me using abusive words..

srajitha · Jul 10, 2015

if he is with me and my kids she says that he is cheating her , she gets angry if he says he loves me , i told him several times to stay away from her but dh says he is with her for some purpose ,he says he loves me , but doesnt protect me instead he is beating me black and blue , using abusive words , he knows i dont like her but says i will get her to takecare of our kids , last month my mom is hospitalized i had to stay in hospital for few hr daily , without my knowledge she use to come to my home get food , play with my kids , when asked dh y like this he said i couldnt stop her.

anupartha · Jul 10, 2015

How old are you and what's your educational qualification??. What's your/parents financial status??
If you are young and qualified, find a job, whatever it may be, just a job to give you some monetary benefit, and get out of that house. Or,try to take the support of some reliable people, like friends, parents or even a relative who is close, and fight your case. Never even hint him that you will leave him, instead demand your right, and he can jolly well fund for the maintenance of the kids. If possible try to lodge a complaint about this other female.
Whatever may be the case DONT TAKE ANY PHYSICAL ABUSING anymore. No beating or **** like that. Period.
Chin up girl. I know it's easier said than done. Give it a try. Dont submit and surrender.
Cheers

yellowmango · Jul 10, 2015

OP...hugs to you dear. Feel so bad for you.

Unfortunately ,you are married to a 'SLUT'. He will not change.If not this b****,it will be some one else.He is a user...he is using her too just like he is using you and others. If it helps,know that this woman is also nothing to him.So think of her too like a disposable person. This is a fact that you will have to accept. You did not marry a faithful man.

Cry a bucket and then become strong.
This kind of person is not worth giving up your life for,leave aside your precious children.

What are your options?
Op ,once you realize and emotionally disconnect with your husband ,then you will realize you have options.
1) Try to slowly get independent. Give yourself a few years. By that time,your children will be older. Slowly work towards independence.Then you can decide if you want to live with this person.

2) If that is not an option and you want to stay in this relationship(for what ever reason,children,no family support),then become selfish. Become stone hearted and learn to use him the way he is.
Tell him you are willing to stay in this situation provided he secures your and you children's future. Put a condition that he will not abuse you or the kids either verbally or physically. Make him invest in your and children's name ....... in return,you set him free to do what he does because he will do this either ways. He will just learn to hide it better.

Please protect yourself sexually. If he can't give you love or loyalty,don't let him give you a disease. Become unavailable to him if you don't want. If you want physical relations ,you keep when you want. If you have to stay in this marriage ,why should you deprive yourself (only if you want).Use him .Why treat him like a husband,treat him like an ATM and a body.

iamsrihere · Jul 10, 2015

I was reading your earlier threads and it seems your husband has been into these things since years. Please try to get something clear into your head. YOUR HUSBAND WILL NEVER CHANGE.

And stop saying that you love him. If there is real love you will not feel the suffocation or the need to end your life. If you really can't divorce him follow what @yellowmango has said. Even in the times you stay with him, stop feeling that you love him. Don't waste your emotions and love on such a disgusting person.

If there is a possibility of divorce please do it immediately. Don't think about your kids. Living a peaceful and secure life is far better than staying with such a father.

This one time, use your brain and not your heart to decide.Good luck!

yellowmango · Jul 10, 2015

Op...in case you do choose option 2 for lack of support or strength,ask him to keep his s*** out of your home and children's life. Tell him clearly that at home he has to be a good father and under no circumstances , this woman or any other women will enter your home or your children's life. Tell him clearly that you do not want your children to learn his filthy ways from him.

Ragini25 · Jul 10, 2015

srajitha said: ↑

I tried to kill my kids oh god I am worst mother living .. I dont know what I did why he changed so much..
Click to expand...

What!? Please, God, they are kids who you should protect, do not harm them under ANY circumstance.

vaidehi71 · Jul 10, 2015

Hi,
Your husband is unfaithful. As others suggested take a job, get your parents help in the meantime and take your kids away and leave this guy. He is not going to change and his violence in no way is tolerable. Try to be financially independent and whether he changes or not is for him to decide. this other lady will never stop intruding in your life and the only and healthy option is protecting yourself and your kids. Your dh is a cheat and your love is not going to be rewarded by living with this guy.