Need help with my wife's attitude.

This forum is for women; hence the name indusladies. U should seek help elsewhere.


Alita

 

Crayoness:
Duck! You know what's coming your way! laugh1smiley

 

If he decides for divorce then she is going to be gone and so are his kids. Not that he seems to spend much time talking about his kids but Indian courts favor custody to the woman so good luck to him about seeing then. Then he can live the next x decades alone with his beloved mother.

 

I don't think he is seriously threatening in that sense. When she talks of running away ,then ,as he thinks she is just doing all this for separate home.
(which also may be true.Who would like to live in her position?)

 

I guess that is the million dollar question here isnt it? Well you have to kind of understand the subtext here. OP has mentioned that they live in their own independent home in Bangalore. My guess is the home is owned by the mom hence she calls the shots in that home. My guess is OP will not consider moving out seriously because of Bangalore rents. And thus what you have stated below is happening.

 

Actually he is very sure she is exaggerating and that everything she is telling him is just drama (dramebaazi). He is not taking any of what she says seriously at all. I really wonder what made him come and post about it here.

My heart aches when I think of her situation: pushed to the brink, 2 v v small kids including a months old infant, husband who refuses to listen or understand...

 

Sandhya...when I read the post first,it is so one sided ,it almost felt troll like.Why would someone post such an insensitive/clueless post in a forum where a lot of women have seen this in some form or other and suffered?

 

s the name suggests OP lacks guts and I don't know his background but looks like he came looking for some solace when somewhere he knows already that he is dead wrong.


Why he would not resume conversations with wife as he is not given to reason. Mental problem??? He loses out on logic and her wife becomes probably mad with insanity when proven point is not even acknowledged. She realizes there's no love. NOw its hard to move forwarded and do things where there is no love.


This male chauvinist is unfortunately her husband. You can't bring up kids as well as deal with two problems MIL as well as Husband gets way too much. And wives dont give up on husbands so soon. So poor lady only wishes her MIL dead who had killed the DIL and taken her life already. ( I did not have a second child because I had something similar but better MIL not permanently with me. But extended periods of her stay spoiled my happiness. MIL's are shameless priers). This man wants a wife who can be a slave.


These ladies who are talking for MIL are like corrupt governments. Like Indians who run to foreign lands for better life but would not let go off their prejudices!!! These women are future MIL's waiting their turn. Because they have no substance to themselves to home , cooking , shopping and some internet thrown in.


OP doesn't need any help nor advice. Are you kidding me??? He is feeling guilty and came looking for some support. He is not here to better the life and future that's at stake of the kids and mother of the kids.


That is why he would only answer to those posts. I am even begging to think that his wife might be intellectually ahead of him. He is still a suckling baby. Most MILs get entertained by pestering their DILs. They have inferiority complex. No matter how good natured DIL is.


Why should DIL go through the pains to cure mental deficiencies suffered by MIL. There is no need for DIL to bend backwards to please anybody.

 

Maybe wife is being more assertive about her rights than he expected and he s clueless about tackling it. He never left his comfort zone so cant really understand how it is for a woman to give up her entire life and be subservient to total strangers with whom she has no emotional connect. the OP seeking to control his wife and be the boss in the marriage with a perennially unhappy wife or a happy content life for both is his choice ultimately .

 

If I tell my dh that I feel like committing suicide because I can't get the world to listen to me and fall at my feet nd he ignores me and my tantrum, it is OK. But if I am feeling stifled and can't even decide what to cook on atleast few days a week or turn on TV or washing machine, I want either myself or dh to do something about it.

I remember the post in which mil was holding a 'I will commit suicide gun' on everyone's head to make everyone fall at her feet. Is ragini25 and armummy feeling that both are the same situation?

I hope the husband talks to both women in question and address their concerns. *****I am sure no one who supported dil in this forum wants a genuine and loving mil to suffer just because this is a primarily dil majority forum.*****