Important lessons learned & unlearned

What a great post and such a beautiful thoughts of lovely ladies. Im still in learning/unlearning phase as my life is far from happy. But what you shared about learning and unlearning about MIL and ILs and Hubby completely relate to me. And im in same boat as all of you.

 

Learned:

1) MIL can never be a mother;
2) SIL at any cost will support MIL, even if MIL commits crime.
3) MIL usually thinks herself a bit high than DIL's parents. It might be shown in some situations.
4) FIL and DH are just dolls in MIL is around
5) For a husband, respect from Wife's parents is very imperative. IF there are any misses or less then a husband will flare up.
6) A wife to a husband is as important as a husband to wife
7) Girl's parents are as important as Husband's parents.

Unlearnt:

1) Bending backwards: We cannot satisfy anyone. Even our own child.
2) Get irritated for all actions of MIL: Now i am sure, i am cool for the things my MIL does thinking, God will pay you for the deeds you do.
3) Be close with In laws: Maintain a safe distance . It will help your relationship to be good.
4) Handling household alone: Involve everyone in household work. Even husband, if you MIL dont like.
5) Dont disclose money matters: if you are working, dont disclose all your money matters to MIL by yourself. If you husband tells it is ok. Make sure that your MIL dont question about your Salary.
6) Dont give up incase your husband conviences you to go along with his mother's decision. Be firm in you decision.

 

Things learn
Take control of life and home
Dont expect husband to understand you.
Learn to manipulate ,dominate when its right.

Things unlearn
Dont take advice from MIL .They are acting in their own self interest and SIL's.

 

Almost woke up my son with my laughing
You are hilarious. Love the way you interpret and also overall attitude.
Stay happy and funny girl!
All the best
Vaidehi

 

sorry to be butting in girls.Hope you don't mind me sharing here
In 31 years of my married life i learned so much about relationships and still learning.
When i was DIL i thought i should respect inlaws and be a doormat and never say and do anything against them.When MIL was on a shouting spree i listened with fear and tried my best to make amends with inlaws thinking that will make my hubby dear happy. Ya,silly me din't know better,right?
Doing all that and more never pleased anybody except making me distressed and weak on all fronts.Still the wise girl (ya,thats me) thought she will conquer the world including in laws with her generous and doormat nature.But the reality shocked her as she woke up very late to the realisation that you can never please anyone unless they want to be.
Now i vowed never to do all the bad things that happened to me to my DIL .So started the teachings to my son about how a girl should be treated and whatever she does you should think of her as your equal.And never to compare her with your mother etc....I also told him to put his wife first and support in every which way she wants.
But now when i am backpatting and being proud to be a super MIL ,reality shows different life.Silly old me never learns.Right?
Grandma

 

Very interesting thread. The learning and unlearning process goes on in everyone's life. And there are always different perspectives at different stages of life.
What one is feeling today may not be the same that one feels later in life.
This is from experience of life.

 

no matter whether one is dil, or mil or whatever...life is about being fair to everyone and this everyone should have self on top...we women make a mistake when we start putting others first before ourselves...

 

Thank you cool gal. Realized it now.yet I keep making mistakes putting others before me.hope and wish to change