Nervous and Worried. Am I thinking too much

ILUser07 · Apr 8, 2015

I am a first time mom-to-be, 30 years old and am in 15th week of pregnancy.

I just couldn't stop myself from thinking about the future baby and am really worried how he is. The doctor appointments are monthly but I want to know and see that my baby is doing fine everyday. Just couldn't wait till next appointment.
Though I am working, I keep browsing all the baby stuff. I am even going through the articles on what to feed when they grow up etc... which are too far from now.
When I turn in my sleep, I feel I might be disturbing him.
Daily in the middle of the night I am waking up with some disturbing dream about the baby or about my husband and couldn't go back to sleep for at least an hour.

Few weeks back, I had a fight with my husband and he was in a rage of anger and said, "you are not knowing how much I am doing for you. If something happens to me, then you'll realize my importance."
That very thought is disturbing me a lot. I just can't imagine living without him and now that I am expecting, I am even more scared.

Really worried how my baby is growing, about his vision, brain development, heart, every single thing is worrying me. The more I am reading about the complications, the more I am worried if it will happen to my baby.

Another thing is, myself and my husband, we both are very easy going. Like we go out whenever we like, I go to India almost every year and even sometimes in 6 months gap. Now, with the baby, everything will change. There will be more dependency and responsibility. I keep thinking whether we'll be able to manage or not. Whether we'll be good parents or not.

Daenerys · Apr 9, 2015

Pregnancy is a very testing time. Enough has been said about pregnancy hormones already but I want to assure you they are all so true. It is difficult to ignore your feelings but try to keep your calm. Your reading about the future stuff is not going to help you one bit to calm you. Trust me on this one. You are going to forget everything you read once the actual time comes. It is only going to increase your stress. Stop reading any unnecessary info and for god's sake dont watch all those videos on the internet.

I have been in your position very recently and can identify with you very much. Your best support during this time is your husband and /or your mom. Or a sibling who has been there. I used to call my Mom late in the night asking a million questions. I just laugh at those instances now.

When you move, your baby will be feeling like in a cradle and nothing more. Your baby is too small right now to be affected your movements. Even in the last trimester,they are too well cushioned to feel any stress from your movements. Dont think too much

Life doesnt have to be very different from now. It will surely be different, but in a good way. Priorities will change , but you will not be so bothered by it.
Most people stop travelling once a baby comes into picture. With careful planning, it is very doable.

sugansunil · Apr 9, 2015

Think positive. .may god bless you with healthy baby.. Be happy.

blackbeauty84 · Apr 10, 2015

OP,
Take it easy. If baby is fine in ultra sound there's no need to worry. If reading about baby's development scares you avoid it. Involve yourself in mediation and other ways spiritually.
Your husband will be one great support during and after delivery. Patch up with him. Tell yourself several times v that you are going to deliver a healthy baby and be a happy family.
Wishing you a safe delivery

divshiri87 · Apr 10, 2015

Op,
I feel you are thinking too much about the baby and worried. Dont stress yourself with these thoughts. Try to divert your mind by spending time on your hobbies but at the same time dont strain yourself.
Dont worry everything will be alright.
Try to go out with your husband and spend quality time with him.
He said those words in anger which usually happens in many couples. Those wprds came from throat not from heart. So need not to worry about that.
Try to make yourself happy and dont worry too much about the kid. He wil be alright..

Sparkle · Apr 10, 2015

@ILUser07:

If you believe in God, dedicate some time to pray for your baby, yourself and your husband everyday.
If you don't, think lovely and positive thoughts. If some scary or negative thought occupies your mind, replace it with some positive thought deliberately. Alternately, you can keep a journal and write about your pregnancy and feelings.

You are not living in the present. Thinking way too much about the future will add more stress to you and your baby. Try and be at the moment and let things unfold as days go on.

abinayamadhavan · Apr 10, 2015

Hi,

Please stay calm and relaxed. Whatever is meant to happen will happen and you can't change anything. Be positive. That will help you to be happy and your baby will get some positive energy. thats what needed now.

Pray to GOD that he should give you the mind to pass on through your journey of life and give courage to face the difficulties.

RedRuby · Apr 13, 2015

@ILUser07 First congratulations to your pregnancy and welcome to motherhood hugsmileyI guess being concerned about our little bundle of joy is a major part of it and just as natural as breathing, so dont worry everything is normal.
I too had dreams during pregnancy, its normal as ladies tend to dream more during pregnancy and those dreams seem to be more lively. Many ladies even say their dreams become strange, weird or worrysome, it will pass. I recited some sloka or repeated some prayer when i woke up like that or just focussed on some pleasant memory.
Dont browse too much if its worrying you. Your baby is fine. You go to all the check-ups so its ok. Just watch your diet and be happy. You can listen to Garbarakshambigai slokam, might even help you in night if you have on MP3 player. Dont worry about your hubby, you said you are both easy-going trust me the sleepless nights will come after the baby is born enjoy your last weeks alone, do something romantic, go to cinema and watch some romantic movies together, after birth there wont be too much time for it for a while
With the first child its for everyone that the whole life will change, that can be sometimes quite scary. The good news is that most people have that thoughts, i had and i discoverd a lot of ladies i know had them too.

Rihana · Apr 13, 2015

OP,

The human mind does not have an On/Off switch. Your thoughts are quite normal for to-be parents. But not to such an extent that 'worrying about every single thing.'

I think rather than finding activities to relax, you should try to keep your mind more occupied. Are there any projects at home that you could take up? Ones that require minimal physical effort. For example, it is a good time to get your financial affairs in order - get a basic will done, check beneficiaries in major accounts, maybe even do some reading on saving for higher education.

There are always some projects or to-do's pending in our lives - probably more so in your case since quite some time and effort must have gone into TTC. So, pick one or two "projects" and focus on those.

Viswamitra · Apr 13, 2015

During your pregnancy, you have to keep yourself healthy and happy. Your worries today are not going to solve your tomorrow's problems but they definitely are going to drain your strength today. This is a time to have noble thoughts. Your husband doesn't mean whatever he said in anger. In fact he has the same excitement about the child that you have. Think about the happy times you are going to have with your child. God has His own plan for your child and you are just an instrument bringing a life into existence. If you like your child to be healthy and happy, you need to be healthy and happy.

Viswa