about a friend and his close female friend

Red flags for you to understand:-

Mr S is keeping in touch with Ms L who displays abnormal behaviors. She changes no after every fight, she fell down from the house - not sure it was a suicidal attempt. Her family's constant pressure for her re-marriage also sounds fishy though. Above all, Ms L was/is interested to marry Mr S. So, it is impossible to maintain friendship with someone who is in love.

Mr S has something else to do right now instead of bothering so much about Ms L's age, beauty and re-marriage. It is her's and her family's business. She is old enough, married once and a mother of a child to set her priorities straight. More over she has openly expressed her interest to marry him. So, him expecting her to re-marry someone by keeping in touch with her or allowing her to display such abnormal behavior in such frequency is also fishy.

It looks as if Mr S in interested in Ms L, perhaps fell in love. But he is unable to move forward due to his wife's present situation.If I may put it in blunt, perhaps, he is waiting for his wife's good bye to move in with L. Perhaps he is realistic and materialistic.

But he checks on Ms L's pulses about her intentions of re-marriage with someone else time to time only to ensure that she waits for him.

So, your advise is not needed for them.

If Mr S is genuine he would have left Ms L the first time she approached him with a marriage/love topic. This friendship wouldn't have lasted this long if Mr S is pure.

 

@seekingbless:
Sometimes people just want to be heard. To be listened to. You are being his good friend by just lending an ear. May be let him lean on your shoulder. (metaphorically speaking). Plus, its totally up to L and S to decide on what they want to do in their lives. Beyond that, this whole scene is tricky and can backfire on you.

 

One more thing OP you dont know MR,S long enough to gauge his character.Make sure that he not makes you the scape goat to achieve his ends.My guess is he may need some one to blame for his decision to marry L or do some intermediate work.

 

great advise by tarasharama

 

What's wrong in being realistic and materialistic? humans by nature are selfish, I think Mr. S should divorce his wife and marry L, but ensure his present wife is taken care of until she lives. L, is product of her own situations, labeling her unbalanced may not be a good idea.

Wife of the guy, is still young, she isn't able to control her diabetes nor is ready for the kidney procedure, who is to blame? why should a guy really spend his still young age in misery. if his wife loved him enough and if Mr S can discuss about L with his wife, things can be much better.

That said, OP should stay off from giving any advice. it is a private matter.

 

Seriously ? Whatever happened to "in sickness and in health " ? The wife is not dead yet !! Getting uncontrolled diabetes is beyond anyone's control sometimes .And organ transplant is quite a complicated procedure too involves many risks .

 

Dear OP ,

I clearly see this as Mr S and Ms L is having an emotional affair for many years . Clearly they are way more than "just friends " . She should either stay single and raise her daughter and ask her parents to calm down or marry one among the many single/divorced/widowed men available. Mr L is married and has a wife who needs his love and care .