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Husband wants a boy baby after 2girls

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Radhika333, Feb 7, 2015.

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  1. Feb 8, 2015 #41
    Sahana1

    Sahana1 New IL'ite

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    Hi @Radhika333
    It is not your husband's fault
    He thinks that only sons can look after parents in the old age
    Even some parents think like that
    Ask your husband what will happen if the third child is a girl
    Regards,
    Sahana
     
    Sahana1, Feb 8, 2015
    Sahana1, Feb 8, 2015
    #41
  2. Feb 8, 2015 #42
    girlieyonee

    girlieyonee Senior IL'ite

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    Since the original question and concomitant replies are purely hypothetical- let's just twist the case a bit.

    What if the first two were boys, and OP wanted a girl baby badly. Would she have even come on to this message board?
     
    girlieyonee, Feb 8, 2015
    girlieyonee, Feb 8, 2015
    #42
    3 people like this.
  3. Feb 8, 2015 #43
    yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    It is not just a question of son or daughter.It is a question of emotionally forcing a partner to bear a child when she has already had two. Having children should be a decision both make......they already have two children....

    While it is expected that people who get married would be wanting children(with exceptions)....one partner expecting a third child when the child bearer is not willing is wrong. This is more than what people usually sign up for .

    The other point to be considered is that the child rearing is also only the wife's responsibility here .The husband's demand seems even more unfair under such circumstances.
     
    yellowmango, Feb 8, 2015
    yellowmango, Feb 8, 2015
    #43
    nakshatra1, sindmani, Harini73 and 3 others like this.
  4. Feb 8, 2015 #44
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Amen.........
     
    Ragini25, Feb 8, 2015
    Ragini25, Feb 8, 2015
    #44
  5. Feb 8, 2015 #45
    VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    I complimented your attitude. And you have "nothing much to say ??" Did this country not teach you to say 'Thank you" when someone compliments you. Or you haven't learnt it yet ??

    What should I naturalize and broaden my thinking on ? It is only People who think that their lives are in vain if they don't have a boy child and people like you justifying such a notion by painting it under 'cherishing' , 'joy of having' etc ,who should naturalize and broaden....
    Btwn, I don't have to live in America to have progressive thoughts. My grandma was more progressive in her thoughts than we modern ladies were and she lived in a small town in India ...
     
    VanithaSudhir, Feb 8, 2015
    VanithaSudhir, Feb 8, 2015
    #45
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  6. Feb 8, 2015 #46
    Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    @vanithasudhir - no offence taken. I know you weren't trying to take a pot shot at me. I just pitched in with experience.

    Btw, online debate vs real life are probably two different scenarios. We can harp about the desire to sire an heir until the cows come home but the OP will not get a solution to her issue. We never know if it is the desire or the patriarchy that's behind the want.

    @radhika333 - Is an Iud a possibility until you resolve your differences. Don't make it about your irritation about wanting the boy. Two in diapers and an older kid is not easy on any parent, especially one that has no help from the spouse. Just say you are not ready yet and would like to wait a few years. Desires will change when schooling costs, college savings, mortgage, retirement savings etc come into play. Even with free schools it's still expensive to raise kids.

    @steve, @malstrom, @hasteraho - Thanks. I would have said similar things in the past so this experience is eye opening. I don't begrudge others for not being in my shoes and hence not understanding.
     
    Laks09, Feb 8, 2015
    Laks09, Feb 8, 2015
    #46
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  7. Feb 9, 2015 #47
    Radhika333

    Radhika333 New IL'ite

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    Yes I would come, if my husband had love and respect for me I would really even go for as many babies he wanted. But the point is
    1 I have no respect I am married just to take care of his family
    2 Things should always work as he wish
    3 when he knew I had a girls2 time he wanted he to abort ( but it was too late, this shows his mental-ills )
    4 he says I can't show any sympathy when you are pregnant
    5 once I am pregnant it's my problem
    6 I should start with the house work after 8 days of my delivery
    the list is long just a few to mention
     
    Radhika333, Feb 9, 2015
    Radhika333, Feb 9, 2015
    #47
  8. Feb 9, 2015 #48
    VanithaSudhir

    VanithaSudhir Platinum IL'ite

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    I really feel feel sorry for you. Be strong. I think making him understand would be useless. You take precautions not to get pregnant again if you are not ready for it.
     
    VanithaSudhir, Feb 9, 2015
    VanithaSudhir, Feb 9, 2015
    #48
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  9. Feb 9, 2015 #49
    Tryinghard2013

    Tryinghard2013 Silver IL'ite

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    Hats off to Radhika333 for dealing with a husband like that!
     
    Tryinghard2013, Feb 9, 2015
    Tryinghard2013, Feb 9, 2015
    #49
  10. Feb 9, 2015 #50
    steve

    steve Platinum IL'ite

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    With that kinda guy, whether boy or girl, any kid shd be a no-no. My sympathies for your struggles. Do what you can to make to your life better.

    Surely you don't want additional pregnancies to play along with this monster who suggested previouly to abort the girl child.
     
    steve, Feb 9, 2015
    steve, Feb 9, 2015
    #50
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