IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matches?

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

No they will not change easily. Instead will keep reminding u that they mentioned b4 marrg. Have seen very rich guts insisting wives to work and vice versa.

Red flag when a guy compares with his mother or sister.

A flexible kiND of person, would have said he prefers u to work / not work but again will leave the decision to u as per situation. But they sound to be very adamant so better to stay away. If u are ready to adjust and compromise then think abt it.

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

Ya... such guys are loosers... show offs ..

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

"I have got another match where the guy is earning less and he wanted me to work life long. I happened to tell him that I spend my salary freely [COLOR=#009900 !important]at the same time[/COLOR] manage house. We had a small argument on all this and he told me that his mom is working even now. Later this guy did not show interest in me saying view points do not match"


the above guy is a big NO for marriage.

you just ask the guy if he prefers working women or homemaker.if he says "upto you"..he is good.

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

ya u can discuss ur expectation with ur partner and come to the conclusion.. that helps to understand the views of each other .. but down the time things decided will change that is to be acceptable .. cant say that the matters discussed to be made as a rule in life .. needs to be flexible with time and life .........

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

It is good that you talked to him, and he blocked you now. Far better than getting married to him, and then having him block all your opinions, needs, desires.

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

OP, It looks like your parents are going to dependent on you for sometime, maybe even after your remarraige? Best you make that very clear to the prospective match.

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

My two cents - Marriage is not about finding someone to take care of you. Financially or otherwise. Male/Female.

I know in India, it is perfectly alright to be a permanent homemaker. Outside, the woman would be a trophy wife, but not here.

Coming back to how the finances work - I think it is alright for both the husband and wife to pitch in equally/ some pre-defined ratio towards monthly household expenses. Whatever they save outside of this, they are free to invest in shoes and handbags or gold and real estate or take care of their parents/gift it away to charity. Of course, if you want to be married to be someone who has similar values and lifestyle as yours, you don't want to mix alcohol and gold. Shoes and real estate may be good even, extra cabinet space.

Few years later (read after kids/someone quits), then all this will need revisiting. Marriage is not some kind of financial deal. So you need to work the balance.

Money and location are the operational details. If in principle, you are in agreement, then you should be able to figure out things like these. But its more easy to find red flags in such areas.

 

Re: IS it good to discuss expenses and work related expectations while meeting matche

If it is meant to be, it will be! Don't sweat it ivlakshmi!!

It is not about someone giving someone else a chance.. This is not bollywood right
But yea, from now onwards - maybe think a situation through and say something (that you well and truly believe in, be honest) in a manner that does not offend/confuse someone. Because the way we interpret things may be different.