Is this a life?

Sweetum darling, you need to pack your bags and leave NOW. Forget relatives. forget marital counselling. This is not your fault. Refuse to engage with him any further. Contact a women's org and pack your bags. (Do it without his knowledge; he sounds like someone who flies off the handle and cojld seriously endanger yo)

If your brother or relatives have a tendency to blame the victim, do not contact them either. Don't let a hint know where you are. It is up to you to be strong. File a case against your husband. Refuse to see him - it must be traumatic to come in contact with your abuser; doesn't do you any good. And whatever he promises at any point to bring you back in his life, do not believe him. Put him behind bars if you can

focus on your work; make friends and work on building up your self esteem. Take care, my dear. Our wishes and prayers are with you.

Ps: Not all indian men are bad.

 

I am sure there are many hostels in benglore for working women living alone.Please move in hostel so you will feel much more safe there.

 

My God!!!! beating and Biting daily??? Are you serious???
Please escape from that heartless animal.
If he himself sends u out of the house then u should be more than happy to be freed.
You have you education to make you independent. Even a dog will not stay with us if we abuse that daily.Where is your self respect and self esteem dear?
India has developed far much to get abused by a male just because you are a women with noone to question.
Jus don wait for miracle to happen and change a fox into a rabbit. No Way!!!RUN!!!tsk

 

We will pray that you become a much stronger person sweetum.You are living in a nightmare....time to come out of it.Work on your self esteem. Try getting some counseling , Make a network of friends and well wishers.Work towards it sweetum.hugsmiley

 

op,
That awful moment when he is in a rage and all of a sudden he throws you out of the house, it is very difficult to collect your thoughts and dignity let alone clearly think or know what to do or where to go.

Real life is not like movies and serials where the heroine rushes out emotionally and straight into the safe waiting arms of her family or good friends or relatives. You have to be the source of your own strength.

While deciding to walk out on your marriage is and can be an emotional decision, the actual walking out takes some preparation and forethought. If the situation is that you get thrown out of the house mentally walk through all the steps- what info, what resources would you need to get yourself to a safe place. Write it all down and try to get all those answers first. For example, you can do research on some possible places to go to if he decides to throw you out. If you dont feel like asking people for help or going to relatives house then look for some good working women hostels, close to your workplace, convenient, good reputation etc. Go check them out and see what is required from you for admission. Then gather all those documents and everything needed. This itself will take some time to put in place. Gather all your important documents, certificates, valuables and put them in a personal bank locker or some other safe place to which only you have access. Hopefully your salary doesnt go into a joint account. If not open your own account or regularly withdraw cash to build up enough to open a personal account. Withdraw some ready cash, your checkbook, your jewelry, sentimental items, some clothes and pack in a small bag what you would need for next few days and keep it in the house or with a trusted friend or even with a friendly neighbor. No need to give details or explain what it is for, just ask if you can keep a bag with them and you may come and collect it later. Then just sit on tight and dont do anything.

Next when a testing moment in your marriage arrives at that time you decide whether you want to use all this preparation and info or not.

 

I am really appalled by your situation. You are educated, working and in a city like Bangalore. How can you tolerate all such nonsense? How long this has been going on? Are you sure that you don't have any help - neighbors, colleagues, friends, family, extended family? If that is true, i am sure you can contact someone in IL who is from Bangalore who can help out. If you want, pm me and i can ask my friend from Bangalore to help out, she is from Bangalore.

Somehow i feel that there is more to what you are mentioning here.

 

so you are working ... then pls get out of the house and stay at a PG for good

 

quite shocking!!! it is high time you gain confidence,