Married women and their parental homes

I have 1(unmarried) sister. I don't consider my parents home as my home as I feel the place where I live with my H is my home.
I would def seek my parents help if there are any marital issues....but that is the worst case scenario.
And I wouldn't mind asking my parents for help when childcare is the issue. I would tell them to move to my city(stay in a near by house) and help me when kids come back from day care or school(I would still send kids to day care so that it won't be too much burden for parents\in-laws)

 

My place at my parent's home haven't' changed. I have an elder brother (unmarried). Infact, now since I no longer stay at my parent's home for more than a week or so, they (my parents and brother) pamper me more. As earlier, all the important decisions at my parent's home are still informed to me, though I don't interfere much with what goes there.
As for marital problems, No, I don't think I would discuss with my parents unless and until they are too serious and need their attention.

 

Interesting question...

 

We are two kids at home myself and a brother who is 10 yrs younger to me. Being the first child and the only girl in my moms family I always get special welcome. Nothing has changed in the 8 years of marriage. Same love same care affection etc. as my mil was bedridden my mom took care of me during my full pregnancy period. At that time grandmom was also bedridden whose responsibility was also on my moms shoulders. As my father is in gulf mom took care of everything. Grand mom is no more and brother is working and father being in gulf I got opportunity to serve my mom nw . She is with us for the past few mnths leading a restful life. Besides she also helped us in building a home also.

 

The answer that we obviously want is that your parental home is always the same and that you are always welcome there.
It is very tempting to believe this as we all want a place we want a place where we come first, where we can be pampered and given unquestionable support.

but what we forget is that life happens. Just like we change and have kids and so on, our parents' life changes too.

Once our brothers get married, if our parents want to live in a joint family, then that house is not just your parents anymore. At least 50% of the home is now belongs to your SIL.

Imagine you are living with a roommate, doesn't that automatically mean that you don't have complete rights over the apartment that you are share. Same with our parents. They lose the complete authority that they had in the past. And so do you.

The only way you can have the same rights over your parent's house after you are married is if your parents live alone. Some of us are lucky enough to have this but of course this has its own set of responsibilities that come with it.

 

Parents are always the same but situations change after brother gets married. In another thread "is there any way to reduce SIL's visits?" you get the answer. How a girl is an unwelcome guest in her mother's house. Ironically as daughters we want our parents house to be ours always but as DIL we want to shoo away SILsh

 

Totally agree.
Daughters should be more gracious towards the bhabhi who lives and takes care of their parents. This is the small price you pay for not having to worry about caring for parents in old age. You can't have everything in life.

The daughters born in daughter only family have their parents home forever...but they also have to take care of their parents.Not that daughters in both sex families can't look after their parents. But they do have options in our country where their brothers are expected to take care of parents.Infact...this question is only raised because of the fact that traditionally in this country daughters move out and sons stay in.

 

Where does she say that? How many households do we see where the dils writruns in a house over h and ils?People who are expected to do seva,deserve to have rights.

This girl has to do seva at in laws place and her parents place.Call it lucky or whatever.