Married women and their parental homes

I am only daughter with two elder brothers. My position is still same what I had before marriage however now I do not get a chance to stay for more than 3-4 days (thanks to ILs and being a single DIL).

Regarding help, honestly I do not expect help neither from parents nor from ILs in raising kid (it's not because they will not do). They have done their part on raising kids and now it mine and DH turn because we decided to have kids. My DD goes to daycare since she was 8 month old and another is due on Jan. Just to add here, my parents are coming for my delivery (FIL is in govt job so long formality for passport/visa). But main reason for me to invite them was to show them USA

 

Sorry to give you a short answer. We have a saying in Kannada"Thandhe iroovaragu balaga, Tahai iroovaragu Thavaru"
Meaning aslong as you have Dad you will have relatives, Aslong as you have mother you will have parental house" So it is all our destiny(or Karma). Better to have a good self esteem, be positive and be happy.

 

hmmm...This question seems to be more for people who are more recently married maybe..

cuz in my case (20yrs married) I have no parental home nor in law parental home for last 15 years. in laws with me for so many years and now last 8months my mom too (due to some issue with my only brother/sil which still not resolved :-( :confused2: though we are all on talking terms. All problems with in my house to be sorted out by me with in my house only. No running to anyone!

 

kneesmiley:bowdown:bowdown
Can I come too?

 

Every family and every individual is different so you can not generalize.Even parents' love for their children is also different.
If you have married brother(s) living with your parents, you might be more like a guest. But that also depends on what kind of person you and other family members are and how your relationship is with them. If there are no brothers, even then, it depends how much time your parents want to spend with you. Some parents enjoy being a couple after the kids have left and some like to have kids around.

 

thats one superwoman

 

My parents have passed away but when my children were young they helped out in emergencies (like when my children were sick and had to go to work). My parents also helped me out during my divorce financially. As my parents were quite old I relied more on my siblings in case of emergencies. I lived for a short while at my sisters place during the divorce, my brother borrowed me quite significant sums of money etc. When I have moved out from my childhood home I was after that a guest (close one) in their home. I informed in advance when coming and tried to be a good guest (cleaning after me, following house rules). We had a good relationship after I moved out. My parents were quite active (a lot of hobbies, travelling etc) and they lived further away so visited them only when it fitted into our schedules.

Now when I have adult daughters the setup is similar. I help them with the children in case of emergency and financially to some extent (both of them are studying). They visit as guest my house. I listen to their problems but do not interfere.

 

WE are three siblings...of both genders.
Our parents home is their home. We all call it 'mummy daddy's' home......it is our family home.
That is possible because my parents live as a nuclear family...all of us live as nuclear families. The solution to most problems.Everyone lives independently and every one visit each others homes.

Regarding help...my parents have always helped in need.They unfortunately have never given us a chance.....even when they could have done with some help.We have never asked in laws for help ever .

 

We are 3 siblings (one sister and a brother). Everyone has their own home, so is our parents.

My brother's home is adjoined to my mother's home. But 2 separate homes.

Since I am so attached to my mom, and I need her help the most (due to child care and all), she offered to stay with me for now.

Before she moved in with me... she was living in her own home with close contact with my brother.

My mother's home is our family home. We call it "big home" in our local language. That means, everyone has equal right in that home. We have so much emotional connection towards that home, where we were born and bred up.

When I had serious marital problems in the past, I spent almost an year there. Me and my sisters were cared during our first deliveries in that home only.

Before my brother completed his new house contruction, he stayed there briefly. That time also, we casually visited our MOTHER's house without feeling anything odd.

Those days, we usually visit there often, and we make it as a vacation point. Because, we all plan together and go there to meet everyone in one spot. It is everyone's home.

Now that our dad passed away, so we don't want to let mom to stay alone there. So, she is currently with me.. But she has the option to chose wherever she wishes to stay.

My take is... Our parents' home is literally our parents' home. As children of them, there is no difference. We 3 have the equal and same right towards it.