My Lil Daughter and IL's :|

Dear op

I could understand your feelings.Kids get attached to the person who looks after them and attends to all thier needs.For them they are the world,they wont know the imp of relationship now.One of my cousins is close like that to her aunt,but after the aunts marriage she got closer to her own mom.So hope that this too will pass.When you are stressed may be kids wont understand it but they can sense it(kids cry when somebody cries).Try to relax your mind when spending time with her .To improve the situation your could prepare something to feed the child every night.Have a special routine for weekend mornings.You could buy her stuffs keeping in mind her interests (eg)dora,scooby doo or fish or some other cartoon characters.Wait for the time she could understand your love.Make use of the time she spends with you in a wise manner.You could try to shift to a more apt job.

 

Dont worry op, your daughter will be your best friend and confidant when she grows no matter how close your inlaws are with her now, I have experienced this first hand myself.

 

It is very natural for kids to get attached to people who look after them and care for them. Some SILs and MILs often use it as a tactic to get the kids away from DILs. Start building good rapport with your kid after you return from work. Freshen up and take her for small walks, play all her favourite games with her, cook something special for her and tell nice stories for her. Spend quality time with her until she sleeps. Take complete charge of the kid during weekends and also whenever you have a holiday. Take her out during weekends. These will be extremely tiresome to follow for you, but, the kid will start developing a bond with you.
Another thing is no matter what you do or not do, kids do come around and start building a special bond with mothers! What you experience now is only a temporary phase...

 

As others have mentioned, kids get attached to their primary care givers. Is she being cared for properly and do you see age appropriate development in her? As long as she is thriving in the environment, great.

Over weekends, you and your husband could take her out - just the 3 of you - so you three can bond. Keep it light and appropriate for her. figure out what she is interested in and do activities that holds her interest. (Perhaps you already do) cut out on tv and other screen time when you are around so you both can engage meaningfully. You are her mother. No one can change that. She will be attached to you too as she grows older. Just make sure you are engaging in age appropriate activities with her whenever you are around.

Let her also be attached to her aunt and grandparents. It is good for her in the long run.

 

At the end of the day You are the mother of the kid ... She will love you only. Your Sil spends more time with her so kids tend to consider Sil as her playmate... You need not take it emotionally and be sad.

 

This could have long term impacts.

Why are you travelling for 3 hours for work? Can you move closer to work?

Consider taking a 6 months break from work and spending time with your child. This is the age where the kids will bond.

Alternatively, can you get your SIL married off soon? Work in that direction.

 

whaatsmiley Are you serious ??

 

A small child gets attached to those people who care for her Basic needs. Be happy that she is attached to your MIL/SIL. That means that they treat her well. Try to spend as much time as possible during evenings/weekends together with your DH with your child. Do not fall in the trap of trying to spoil her but do fun things together. Take her with you when you do your chores, go out to the park, eat dinner together. During weekends make some daytrips to the park, have some lazy sunday mornings eating breakfast in bed and watching cartoons together.