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Men seeking earning wives are shame for those men who need wives only not money.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Romantic2014, Oct 27, 2014.

  1. nb25

    nb25 Gold IL'ite

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    If you are saying that men should not snatch away their wive's salary, then I second you.

    No dowry should be accepted by husband/ILs from wife's side. However, contributing to daily expenses of married life is a responsibility for both. How a couple negotiates the terms of this shared responsibility is their decision. Either husband spends, wife saves (with the understanding and transparency that it is for both of them), or husband and wife both spend and save a part of their salary.
     
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  2. vijiaushwini

    vijiaushwini Senior IL'ite

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    I think women nowadays after finishing education work and chose their partners either arranged or love, nowadays it involves her choice which is the ultimate.

    Some women chose to work and they like the independence of spending and earning. When they marry a man who desires to have a working woman, they life is peaceful.

    But if there is a female who after education never desires to work, then to marry a guy who seeks a working female is a disaster.

    Even if the girl is a professional like doctor, engineer, lawyer, she needs to give dowry for the male (according to their education, salary, and personality). In my point, she pays off a huge lumpsum as dowry (either gold, cash, car, apartment) during marriage itself.

    Seeking working woman is a put off only when a woman pays the whole dowry during marriage which was a financial security parents gave to their daughters because she was not given equal rights on education, property, etc from paternal side long back.

    If someone is seeking a working woman then naturally, there should be no dowry because thats what dowry was meant to be (a security from the woman's side in time of need). When she is herself going to work and provide security to the man, then there is no need for a dowry.

    But pathetically, even if the girl is a doctor, she needs to pay the huge dowry to marry even a doctor.

    One difference between male and female is females can give birth to next generation. By saying next generation, I really want to say that kids grown in daycare and with baby sitters are not going to reflect your culture, tradition, family values and ultimately love for you.

    I personally feel, with today's scenario either the male or the female should work, either one who does not work should take care of the kids and family. That would only lead to a better next generation.

    Besides, women get paid very less after pregnancy and childbirth. If only family financial status requires her to work, she should otherwise I think it is much happier to lead a simple life and much less headache of not traveling on two boats at the same time.

    Of course, I look down upon guys who ask huge lumpsum amount as dowry even for working women.
     
    Last edited: Oct 29, 2014
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  3. Romantic2014

    Romantic2014 Bronze IL'ite

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    No, you are not in eighteenth century. You are very much in 2014. Many women work and let the whole world know, how much they do for your family. Pages of complains how much you working women are being exploited. The ladies' posts are clear evidences of that. Better don't work and bring peace. I feel, those men who prefer to endure these regular dozes of shrill lectures are actually incomepetent that's why choose to go for working wives.
     
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  4. Romantic2014

    Romantic2014 Bronze IL'ite

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  5. anonymou

    anonymou Silver IL'ite

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    Romantic ji....let everyone choose their partner according to their wishes...its everybody's right to choose a partner which fulfills his/her needs and requirements(be it physical, emotional, monetary) if he/she can find one...if you don't need working partner, so be it, you choose accordingly. If you go one step further, and actually 'hate' others who marry working women, you can choose not to befriend such 'non-manly' guys as you believe them to be.
     
  6. Metamorphic

    Metamorphic Platinum IL'ite

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    Hey Romantic! Seen your different threads ....

    There is no "you are born to do this" sort of thing any more.

    Complementing each other depending on their inherent capabilities and to the extent possible, with mutual love and respect makes marriage beautiful.

    Nothing called shameful if wife expects Husband to help her in household works and if Husband expects wife to work and support the family financially. Until the expectations are GENUINE on the part of person expecting and doable by the other person, coupled with mutual love and respect, nothing is shameful or wrong IMO.
     
  7. Hyral

    Hyral Gold IL'ite

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    Seems like either you are hurted some where or really carrying forward the many years old thought where girls were not allowed to work....
    How can you say husband's are incompetent that's why choose to go for working wives...This is one mean statement....

    My DH is an AVP in one of the leading International Bank in Investment sector....he is earning 4 times more than what I earn...Am proud of my Man coz he believes I have studied so much and more over have a dream to work...he appreciated and encourages me to pursue further...More over he has never shown any displeasure in nt helping me in house hold chores....

    Yes , I have seen many men in friends circle & family who helps their house wife too in house hold chores....

    If husband earns and gives money to wife will that be considered as dowry? If not...why wife contributing in husband's expenses is considered dowry?

    If you trying to convey to the point where a wife is earning and contributes to house expenses....allowed to buy gifts for in-laws only and not for her own family...there comes the problem...but Men of today are improving in this too...

    Like if I wish to buy any thing for my parents...my DH never objects but I do convey to him...

    GREEDY MEN will remain GREEDY if they have eye on WIFE'S money it will be either ways...if wife is not earning , GREEDY men seeks of money by directly asking....so pls grow up...unnecessarily dont drag all men into this blame game....


    Today's men are not shying out from changing diapers of their baby way it was earlier...and no women makes her hubby do this just to exploit them or to prove DH is mordern etc....its out of willingness, care, understanding , feeling of equality and unconditional love towards both wife & baby....
     
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  8. lilypad

    lilypad Silver IL'ite

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    What about a woman who seeks an earning husband ? Why is that not considered greedy? What about men who expect wives to cook and clean and take care of the kid single handedly? Is that not greedy too?

    Earning and and household chores are things we must do and man or woman , I expect my partner to share equally in both.

    Also what is your definition of " manful" man ? What is the opposite of a manful man?
     
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  9. Priya4oct

    Priya4oct Gold IL'ite

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    There is no comparison between Dowry and earning wife. Dowry is something what parent giving or I would say forced to give. Is girl a burden on parents that parents has to pay off just make their daughter away..no...atleast not in this century ..Parents spend same money on daughter what they did for son..they made their daughter capable to survive in this..to have good life then why they pay to someone else that you make my daughter happy.
     
  10. Visasri

    Visasri Platinum IL'ite

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    Op
    There are women who want their husbands in a specific field coz it fetches much money. Can you blame them? No it is a matter of choices. There are women who want to keep working and they would find such guys suitable. It is the individual's choice, so cannot comment. But where it would go wrong is when the woman wants to take a break, and still if the husband is keen on fetching money, then you can blame him for being greedy.
     
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