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PILS going to stay with us for long

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by tulip2012, Oct 28, 2014.

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  1. Oct 28, 2014 #1
    tulip2012

    tulip2012 Silver IL'ite

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    My PILS were there with me for few weeks.. looks like they will be with them for longer duration.
    The problem is I will not have any freedom, MIL will put her nose into everything.
    I have a maid but still to manage everything is not an easy task.
    I will be lacking the precious my time which i will use to do things which makes me happy.. my hobbies.
    If at all i use late night for my work my MIL will start acting as if I know to use time for things which I like, why cant I also do things for her DD and DD'd DD too( may be give them stitched dress etc)
    what ever i do wil be taken for granted and her DD will get head ache if she doesnt sleep at 8:00 PM at night! strange huh!!

    feeling sad, but will manage.. :(

    DH will play a good sons role even offering them to use our bedrooom though we have an equally cosy room for them, but it has no AC.
    We do not live in a hot place too...
     
    tulip2012, Oct 28, 2014
    tulip2012, Oct 28, 2014
    #1
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  2. Oct 28, 2014 #2
    anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    some things you can try is fibbing, keeping her out of the loop, informing at last minute. but mostly ignoring works. don't let her get your goat.
     
    anahita5, Oct 28, 2014
    anahita5, Oct 28, 2014
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  3. Oct 28, 2014 #3
    Anamika99

    Anamika99 Gold IL'ite

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    Sorry to hear but u will get through...
    like in most of the thread i read..try to develop thick skin and do not change ur schedule. One thing to tend to their need , and another to bend over.
    Draw the line.
     
    Anamika99, Oct 28, 2014
    Anamika99, Oct 28, 2014
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  4. Oct 28, 2014 #4
    Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    Offering the room because of A/C, or being a good son - those two are not a crime, and as a son he has a responsibility to be a good son. Regarding other troubles, try to tell your H in a good way to help you where he can.
     
    Ragini25, Oct 28, 2014
    Ragini25, Oct 28, 2014
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  5. Oct 28, 2014 #5
    KashmirFlower

    KashmirFlower IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi,

    Can you finish all ur work at night (everybody's dinner etc), as early as possible like 8.00 or 8.30, and go to ur room and lock? this time you use as "me time" till u go to sleep.

    Same, after lunch also if you are at home, go and relax and do ur stuff in ur room.
     
    KashmirFlower, Oct 28, 2014
    KashmirFlower, Oct 28, 2014
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  6. Oct 28, 2014 #6
    Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Your MIL's DD means your sister-in-law? So, it is just your PILs visiting or your sister-in-law and her DD are also visiting?

    Try to minimize the bedroom problem. If you and husband move into the no-AC room for the duration of their visit as a courtesy, it is part of being good hosts. Can you do that much? Do you care about the AC? Can you handle this much adjustment?

    If your husband is making your room available to them as and when needed, then, it is not right. You need to have one room that you can call your own, preferably lock from inside and that others are not free to enter as per their will even if it is unlocked and nobody is in it.

    It is not right when a person is unable to freely spend time on some hobby or activity in his or her own home after completing other duties and obligations. Having to struggle for such a basic thing spending time on something you like, is a pain. Hope time flies and their visit is done. Try to keep the long term in mind - if you complain too much to husband, the in-laws problem will still be there, but after they are gone the memory of your complaining will linger. All your suffering will be of no use.

    Hang in there. This too shall pass.
     
    Rihana, Oct 28, 2014
    Rihana, Oct 28, 2014
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  7. Oct 28, 2014 #7
    armummy

    armummy Platinum IL'ite

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    Get an a/c for guest room . This way you need not move out of your room .

    As they will be making future visits too , it is much better to invest in a/c .

    Not sure what your hobby is but it will only increase your practice and name in your circles if you gift the output of hobby to someone else maybe your Sil too .

    thos way you can avoid mil nagging by saying that you are working on your gift to sil and continue to do your own thing . Gift something you made at the end of the trip .
     
    armummy, Oct 28, 2014
    armummy, Oct 28, 2014
    #7
  8. Oct 28, 2014 #8
    tashidelek2002

    tashidelek2002 IL Hall of Fame

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    Make the guest room so nice they never want to come out. New bedspread, tv, move the A/c into there (or get another one). You will just be paying for peace of mind.
     
    tashidelek2002, Oct 28, 2014
    tashidelek2002, Oct 28, 2014
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  9. Oct 28, 2014 #9
    persecutedDIL

    persecutedDIL Gold IL'ite

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    persecutedDIL, Oct 28, 2014
    persecutedDIL, Oct 28, 2014
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  10. Oct 29, 2014 #10
    tulip2012

    tulip2012 Silver IL'ite

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    Ragini,
    If at all they want to use AC it is fine. FIL doesnt even use FAN.. so just for caourtsey sake I dont think I should let them take our room as both rooms are equally set. In fact our room has all our cupborads and belongings which are needed frequently
     
    tulip2012, Oct 29, 2014
    tulip2012, Oct 29, 2014
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