Irritating MIL

Gae3 · Sep 26, 2014

Hi friends,
i need your help to get some peace of mind from my irritating mil.
she keeps asking me things like a kid, just to irritate me please don't mistake it for a lovely mil who is being kind enough to ask.
irritating things like, should we peel the skin of this vegetable to prepare curry.
how to cut onions? How to switch on washing machine?
shall i switch off the light?
she is 55 years old and i really wonder how can she ask how to cut onions.

Please help me.
my days starts in kitchen and within 15 mins i feel like banging my head and running out of the house.

Anamika99 · Sep 26, 2014

before she asks, can you start askign saying since she has so much exprience ...?

Grihani · Sep 26, 2014

Do you have any idea why she asks?

Is she worried that it is your house, so she needs to do like you want?

Is she really not aware of certain things, elderly ppl may not be comfortable operating gadgets..

Is she trying to please you? Want to make you important?

Or is she really doing intentionally, to irk you?

Not able to understand why she does so..

If you want peace of mind, just ask her to sit down and relax, tell her you will take care of everything.

For simple things like Onion, you can ask her to cut like the way she likes...dont have to ask.

SurekhaKrishna · Sep 26, 2014

Op,
I have a question.is this your mil's first time visit to your country/home. My mil has been visiting USA since 10 years totally.
my mil will start do you have tamarind at home.i reply yes and give it to her.she helps me near stove only I have to fetch her ingredients boxes out of kitchen cabinets when ever she asks where is x powder?when DH and me goes out to weekend grocery shopping dinner will be getting ready though

DKI · Sep 26, 2014

Anamika99...this has worked for me.

First time she came here, she criticized everything I did and said my mother did not know how to do anything.

So next trip, for everything I would ask her to show me. She stopped telling me and would just say "You already do it well, why do you need me"

Weasly · Sep 26, 2014

Before she asks, u start asking!!

guesshoo · Sep 26, 2014

To me it sounds like she is bending over backwards to make sure she doesn't do something that you may not like.

Either you keep answering her politely. Or you start dealing with her the way you deal with a child- by saying in a pleasant manner, "what ever you feel, mum" "however you want, mum" "what do you think, mum?"

PS: does she get pushed over by the rest of her family all the time that she has trouble taking the smallest decision?

Gae3 · Sep 26, 2014

Anamika99 said: ↑

before she asks, can you start askign saying since she has so much exprience ...?
Click to expand...

Anamika...

i tried it, she says i dont know. I never used this veggy in my life.
so i say ok and show after that next time again same q?
if i say last time we did this dish,,,,, she says i forget things i have memory loss.
but till date she will say in ur wedding they dint give saadi n silver as per our expectations..
wonder how tat memory is good.

Gae3 · Sep 26, 2014

Grihani dear,

i have been married for 5 yrs now.
i told my mil i will cook you please take rest.
for tat also she wont listen she will say i cant sit n eat.
so il say ok let me do one dish and probably u can do one. That way we can share.
she says yes..and will keep asking what to do...what to do..
after i suggest , she will say ok. Dn she will do what she likes..
this used to irritate me, but i learnt to ignore.
now since i have delivered i am unable to cook.
and ask for bland food,so she keeps asking like this..aftr getting irritated.i feel like i can only do..but unable to find time...due to baby