Advice needed in a critical situation

ragini, please pull out these threads.

 

why? here is a post so patchy and the matter at hand so serious. and all people are doing is taking up gender fairness, not attempting to see the complexity of a dv situation and applying things in context.

 

I imagine, what would have made her mad to take the knife. Was the husband not responsible for it in anyways ?. She might have done in a fit of rage (though it shudn't be) that needs to be proved in the court as "provoked" or may be as act of "self defense" that needs to be proven in the court beyond doubts. The husband thinks that he is very smart and took legal support. But he mustn't be this cruel to take extreme step on a "women who is his kid's mother" which has drastic consequences on her future and his family. No married MAN on earth shall be such cruel to send his wife to jail who is dependent on him for food, living and shelter. Sameways she must control her violence and aggressiveness. All said and done everything is beyond repair now.

I feel that the kids would definitely be counted as witness. If the husband is found to have performed any physical abuse like slapping or hitting in the past then he is in deep trouble too.

Booni, while i appreciate that you have helped out in worst of her times please hold-on and be calm. As such she is struck in the state of fear. People generally don't know what to do in such situations.

I feel there should be a mediator neither his friend nor her friend giving counselling to both of them formally through court or out of court. After all these mishap, i don't think they can live together anymore. The direction should be more towards getting a peaceful divorce. The mediator should be able to convince her husband to let her go back to India or stay in US separately and to decide on child's custody.

I sincerely wish that wither they lice or part ways in peaceful manner than this entire disturbing episode.

 

OP stated clearly the dw said that two acts of physical aggression took place and both were by the dw (as per her own words), so pls read that info also.

 

i mean just read it. "he was not giving her importance". that's all. because of this, they argue and a woman married for so many years uses a butter knife just for that!

there is more to this. like Gauri said, there are many sides.

 

you are a good friend! hoping it all works out well.

 

There is too much speculation all around. I don't think anyone except those involved know who attacked who. We really don't know if the wife was acting out of self-defense or just had the "tendency" to lose control.


And yes from the many post of OP, she states wife has been one who restored to violence more than once.

 

I like how some people assume if someone has an opinion contrary to theirs, they lack empathy.

If those that have so much more empathy than others want to help, get off the computer and volunteer in those shelters. Nothing is stopping anyone from making a meaningful contribution. But please understand that everyone is commenting about a thread posted here in this forum and there many be many views.

Lastly, it is not only women who are victims of domestic violence. Men are too.

As for this particular story, we don't know all the details but I will say one thing- and that is there are too many conflicting information provided by OP for me to have a accurate picture.