So, is the guy good or bad?!

Your cousin is getting insecure and imagining many possibilities which may not actually be true. It is OK for old classmates to be friends, it is OK for guys to appreciate other women's beauty, intelligence etc....it only matters when and if they feel negative about their own wives, if they do not...there is nothing to all this. Whatsapp, Facebook etc has brought back a lot of old friends and acquaintances together, like someone said if there was really something he definitely would not have said anything about meeting this ex-classmate, he definitely would have password-protected or deleted conversations on his phone. The fact that he is not doing it shows that he really has nothing to hide. When a person is not doing anything wrong and gets accused, it can make him/her very mad, and in that anger people tend to say many things. Go die, get lost, lets divorce and go back to parents etc etc are very normal things that many couples yell when arguing, I know some are wrong, but well it does happen. Unless she catches them with initimate conversations, accusations like these will only bring rifts between the couple. Ask your cousin not to over react and be calm, composed and intelligent when dealing with these kind of things. Lets hope it is not at all true and just imaginary. Good luck there.

 

I think she did over react. She showed him her mistrust on him which must have made him quite upset. And calling the other woman bad names led to her breaking the rules of having a respectful discussion. He took her lead and said things in the heat of the moment. Again she is over reacting by giving what he said in an angry outburst so much importance.

She should not put lot of weight on things that were said in the heat of the moment.Wait a few days and next time have a calm discussion with her H about his having her as a friend. She should calmly suggest to him that it makes her uncomfortable and assess how he reacts and take it from there.

 

Your cousin's husband has a very well defined area for his wife. As long as she sticks to within those parameters, he treats her well. If she wanders off, he shows a different side. She has to decide for herself if she can live within that area defined for her by him and still be happy.

 

That sugar is acting insecure
Its offensive to accuse someone of having affair without any proper reason.Obvious h is going to get angry.

 

Dear op,

Even men get mad when thier 9 year life partner questions thier fidelity.The so called
"SOME NAMES" by your cousin just dont seem that decent or reasonable.Its not fair to jump the gun to accuse her H for visiting a friend with 2 kids(he is the one to give her the information).In a fit of anger your cousin could have threaten her H with suicide,he could have said go ahead in his anger.

You can ask your cousin to ask sorry to her H and try to talk in a calm manner .And one more thing dear the diabetic patients generally have low sex libodo( read it some where) .This could also lead to such misunderstandings and insecurities bet couple.

In case the H is the only son then the matter of property is not that serious .If there are siblings then some intervention is in order.

 

Sugar turned sour and made a mess to herself and later regretting for it. She is more judgmental by just seeing chats and seeing the old friend. All those words are out of rage, her husband might have told, may be to stop her from thinking this thing. 10years of live would have taught more, so she can wait and see what her H does, any further chats or things cooking between them. Also to find anything, she must first have a good relation with him, so that he shares the thing with her. Ask her to swallow the bitter pill given by her husband and go to him and talk with sugar coated words.

There is always the other side of a coin to see, so just hearing her side don't conclude, try to find what his actual feelings are? Why was he so harsh on her, though not intentional. Take time and resolve.

 

The husband shud stop contact or reduce if the spouse is not happy abt it! If spouse is getting so paranoid and depressed bcz of all this then what is the point?!
Also she needs to put this across firmly rather than losing cool! I think its just misunderstanding, if he wanted to hide he cus hqve very easily! They need to spend some time together!!

 

No need for her to apologize.She went out of line and he told her to die..
That is even.I would have given him some silent treatment and expect him to make a "please un die" comment.