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Advice needed in a critical situation

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Booni, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. Booni

    Booni Junior IL'ite

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    Hello

    My friend is living in the US (Texas)with her husband and two kids(age 7 and 5-boys). they have been married for 8 years.

    She had interference by their in -laws in their relationship so the husband and wife used to argue a lot and physically mutually hurt each other. during such a mutual fight she took a butter knife and scratched him,due to which the husband was not even hurt even a little. but he went to police and filed a case on his wife for domestic abuse and police took her to custody and he also got 'No contact" restraining order for himself.

    My friend's friend took her out in bail and she is giving accommodation...its been 10 days , through friends we are trying to talk to husband regarding weakening the case or modifying the restraining order..but he is not agreeing for anything. he is allowing to let her see the kids once a week by trusting the friends in a public place for just one hour.

    she cant go to india bcoz shes on bond, her passport is also with the husband only.her parents in india arranged a lawyer in texas to carry on with the case.

    she is a dependant,immigrant,..so no job, no income, no car, not having kids with her at this time. what can she do in such a situation?

    we live in Texas. the court hearing is within a month.

    i am ready to clarify any of your questions...if you have been in a similar situation before, or if your friends have been in such a situation before, ..pls do share your suggestions, ideas to get her out of this..

    thanks a bunch in advance.
     
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  2. paanzaa

    paanzaa Gold IL'ite

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    I have a bit of advice. The husband has shown restraint and is adamant. He was good in not returning the attack. A man is punishable when it comes it to hurting a woman and the vice-versa never holds good in many countries such as the States and India. Laws are such.

    The best way to resolve is to let it cool off a bit- wait for a couple of days. Make them realise that it is in the family- any garbage thrown out stinks. Just wait.
     
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  3. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Trying to hurt with a knife is a very serious offense.What would be your response if she had been attacked by a knife by her husband?As for the kids. Really sad.But at least they are with the non knife attacking parent.
     
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  4. Booni

    Booni Junior IL'ite

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    correct. but I had mentioned it was a "mutual" fight, he also pushed her against the wall, to let him go, she just took the butter-knife which was in eye sight...when he pushed her strongly, she had some blood clot on her arms as well, which is an evidence against him. She is a good housewife, and a very good mother. Unfortunately her husband was not giving her importance, hence she retaliated back this way.

    the husband silently went to office the next day after the fight when, he returned in the evening, he brought the cops..can you believe?
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2014
  5. Booni

    Booni Junior IL'ite

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    he also physically hurt her by pushing her. her in laws are also encouraging him to continue with the case. but just imagine, for just taking a butter knife , she was in custody inside bars for two nights. for a woman, in a foreign country this is the worst situation. I myself don't know if I would have survived..
     
  6. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    There is no excuse good enough to pick a knife and hurt someone.Normal people don't do that.Specially when there are 2 children in the house.Seriously???Because he wasn't giving importance???? Your friends needs help for her temper issue.
     
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  7. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    At this time, your friend needs support from friends, a good lawyer and professional advice. There should be organizations that help Indian or South Asian women. I found one: DAYA: Serving South Asian Families

    Can her act be shown as self-defense? Past history be used to weaken his case? Good lawyer is needed.

    I am only responding to OP's question. No comment on the act otherwise.
     
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  8. Booni

    Booni Junior IL'ite

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    you are right. but she has nowhere to go. how long will she stay in others house?she also missing her kids. when this incident happened ..kids were not around.
     
  9. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    I think it is best that the lady accept her fault and not try to blame the father ....Then sit down and reach some kind of compromise...at least for the sake of the children.l
     
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  10. Booni

    Booni Junior IL'ite

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    thank you i will look into it. she has a lawyer now. her father is paying for him...
     

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