1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

No Faith in GOD left. Please suggest.

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by JigsSM, Sep 17, 2014.

  1. kvinde

    kvinde Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    16
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    I'm on the same boat too except that the problem is in me. Blaming the god is the easiest thing one can do especially at the time of crisis. I do the same thing but then god has his own plan. So far he haven't let me down although the situations seemed as if I'll drown for sure. But at the nick of the time I always got his helping hand and despite all these past experiences I hate god for making me to go through certain agony :) but then that's where the karma comes in.

    Tell your husband to accept the truth it will help him to lighten up a bit. Look at the other alternatives like adoption or knocking the door of sperm donation centers. If you look around you'll always see some option. Also, tell him that low sperm doesn't make him any less of a man. It's just a deficiency. We all have some or the other kinds of shortcomings.

    Only by giving birth doesn't make you a parent. Lord Krishna loved his adopted parents more dearly than his biological parents. Even today we have songs, poems and bhajans highlighting the bond Krishna shared with Yashodha. Ask him to continue to pray. Prayers help. If not in the form of baby it'll at least give you a positive outlook towards life and a sense of security. Now that said the ball is in your husband't court. Whether he wants to make it or break it, it's upto him.
     
    1 person likes this.
  2. memeera1234

    memeera1234 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    407
    Likes Received:
    367
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Female
    That would be better Jigs.. Crisis on all front will make our lives only worse..so we can certainly avoid whats under our control..

     
    1 person likes this.
  3. vini31

    vini31 Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    547
    Likes Received:
    522
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    a few IUI failures and 1 ICSI failure cannot make one loose trust in God, you should read the Fertility and Trying to Conceive section of IL, there are women who hv undergone more than 3 IVF failures, so it is all abt onez attitude towards life
     
    1 person likes this.
  4. Scorpio707

    Scorpio707 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,877
    Likes Received:
    2,311
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Jigssm...personally I have sailed in this boat for the last 4 yrs trying for a baby..XYZ treatments but all led to disappointments...I know well what your hubby is feeling and thinking..Give him time, you cannot force him to trust or believe in GOD, its baseless picking fights and taxing your mind and body more...you believe and have faith right in GOD?? that's all that is needed...you pray continue to do what you have always been doing..your prayers will definitely be answered..

    I recently had an abortion a month back :cry:, I was in my 5th month..my hubby also sometimes talks n thinks negatively...but it's his pain and disappoint..this incident has not stopped me in anyway..I have double the trust now in GOD than before..
    You & your hubby are one ...not single...so please stop worrying and fretting if he is not doing something...time will heal...take care...
     
    2 people like this.
  5. sujjusays

    sujjusays New IL'ite

    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Jigssm,

    This article was sent to me by my friend So i am not sure about the source... I know no word of consolation will really help until you are strong mentally and stay positive throughout ...yes God does give test papers to his loved ones and we will have to pass the test to earn the fruit.....all our prayers are with you and I am sure that tough times will pass and you will shortly send us a good news ...and the key is staying positive :)

    The Challenge of Staying Positive


    Dr. Andrea Mechanick Braverman, a psychologist and director of psychological and complementary care for Reproductive Medicine Associates of New Jersey, believes it is very difficult to stay positive while trying to conceive. “It is very easy to get negative when trying to conceive,” she says. “We all carry around our own beliefs about how easy it will be to get pregnant. Many of us believe that you simply stop birth control, and you instantly get pregnant. Contrast with the fact that the average woman only has a 20 to 25 percent chance to get pregnant—less if she’s older—and many will be disappointed and maybe even a bit worried with their first try. For those having problems conceiving, there is the monthly cycle of disappointment and hope which can really wear you down.”


    Women often protect themselves from this preconception emotional roller coaster by anticipating the worst while they are trying to conceive. This can lead to a decreased desire to get pregnant and/or depression.


    The Importance of Staying Positive


    Dr. Carrie Jones , a naturopathic physician specializing in women’s heath at Northwest Gynecology Associates in Hillsboro, Oregon, believes that staying positive is vital for a woman’s physical and emotional well-being. “Staying positive reinforces to your body healthy thoughts and emotions,” she says. “Positive thinking attracts positive actions into one’s life. Negativity is a stress on the body, and stress hormones really play into the role of fertility. It’s the idea of fight or flight. Our bodies weren’t designed to become pregnant while running from the saber toothed tiger way back when. Now, the tiger has changed into job stress, money stress, family stress, unhealthy lifestyle stress, and even negative emotion stress. When conception becomes stressful the body recognizes that as a ‘fight or flight’ emotion and reacts accordingly.”


    Dr. Jones believes that if the emotions running through a woman’s body are ones of frustration, anger, hopelessness, blame, and sadness then that’s what you’re going to get. Combating negativity and staying positive during preconception, even through assisted reproductive therapy (ART), can go a long way in keeping your stress levels down. Holistic thought believes that keeping your stress levels down can make pregnancy more likely.


    5 Tips for Combating Negative Thoughts


    Dr. Jones gives the following tips on combating negative thinking while trying to conceive:


    1.Take time for yourself every day. Even if it’s five or 10 minutes where you put your feet up and zone out, it allows your body a quick recharge. When your life centers around trying to conceive the focus changes to the end result instead of the process. Don’t forget you are a part of the process, and it’s important you remain healthy, clear, and balanced.


    2.Journaling is very important. It gets those negative emotions out of your head and allows you to check in with yourself about what is going on and then how you can flip it around to the positive.


    3.If you are having a hard time staying positive during preconception, then put up note cards with positive words and phrases on them. At least you will read them and your brain will take note of them several times a day. Place one on your bathroom mirror, on your computer, in your car, taped to the back of your cell phone, etc. Repeat them aloud or in your head. Use words such as “create,” “beautiful,” “healthy body,” “balanced,” “normal cycle,” “healthy eggs and sperm,” “healthy cervical fluid,” “regular ovulation.” Try phrases such as “I am a healthy woman.” “My uterus and ovaries are ready to create a baby.” “My partner and I are wonderful parents.” Try using any word or phrase that makes you smile when you see them.


    4. Don’t forget about date night. Another way to enjoy the preconception process is to re-create courting. Surprise each other with little gifts or cards. Go out to dinner, catch a movie, drink sparkling cider under the stars. It’s OK to have sex on your non-fertile days if you need to release some pressure!


    5.Eliminate the negativity around you. Connect with positive people, read positive books, watch happy, positive movies. Don’t let negative people or images drag you down while you’re trying to conceive. Create healthy boundaries and buy yourself a “no” button. It’s OK to say “no” and put yourself first.


    God bless!!

    Sujatha
     
    1 person likes this.
  6. JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    295
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Yes the thing which you said is right. I and my hubby are one. So if one of the us pray it should be for both of us. Thanks dear. yes time will heal, hopefully... :idea
     
    2 people like this.
  7. JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    295
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    Wow all the article was too good and i really feel to implement those 5 points. It easy to implement in our life. as it is mentioned actually life is stressed out of too many things. We really need to find inner peace. Thanks for the article. i already have it on my desktop so that i can read it everyday if i forget to implement.

     
    1 person likes this.
  8. pear

    pear Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    916
    Trophy Points:
    188
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear jigssm,

    Being spiritual is a personal choice.The relationship bet god and an individual is special.Your husband seems to be frustrated with TTC ,so he had stopped showing his love to god through pooja. Pray for him to god .

    Dragging him and compelling him to participate in the pooja may result in half minded attempts.If he accompanies you to the temple he will invariably do a little bit of chatting from his depth of his heart to god and that might provide some relief to him.
    Just let him follow the relationship with god on his own terms .

    Who told only visiting temples and doing daily poojas is a way to worship god?
    They are all man made physical procedures to show our love towards almighty.

    A person who understands humane pain and be good to his fellow human being is far better than all poojas.Gods values your soul more than all procedures.So rest assured that god can understand both your inner thirst.

    Prayers to you from the depth of my heart
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. JigsSM

    JigsSM Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    295
    Likes Received:
    219
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Female
    You said it right i guess. and my DH also keeps me telling same thing sometimes that even if i do not go to temple and if i feel i will pray because he is everywhere for me. So indeed i shouldn't force him more and let him be on his own terms.
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. luckwaves

    luckwaves Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,120
    Likes Received:
    1,471
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Dear Jigsm,

    Hugs to you dear and can very well understand your frustration . I would say don't force your husband to believe in God as it should happen naturally and forcing will spoil the harmony at home . You be sincere in your prayers and trust the almighty am sure it will make wonders .

    Please do check home remedies to increase sperm count and success stories with low sperm count in Pregnancy forum . It will boost up your thought and energy .

    Have a strong hope that you will be blessed one day dear. Never lose your hope. God as His own plans and no one else can burn the karma that we have cooked . Stay positive and try the home remedies to improve the sperm count .

    as mentioned please do sashti pooja (you can search for the same in fertility and trying to conceive forum ). Just give a tough fight to this wicked TTC and am sure you will win the battle one day .

    Good luck
     
    1 person likes this.

Share This Page