Motherhood is crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi kalpana
I could understand how terribly u feel..bcoz just now I crossed that phase r I can say still sailing..Before 2 months my second son was born and the same thing happened in my home..But fortunately my in-laws were supportive..My first son is super active and he ll do anything to get noticed..In order to get attention from everyone,he did whatever he can and stopped studying..Everyday complaints from school teacher..I cried as you did.Then I sat and think why he is doing all this and found few solutions..

I dont have experience with twin kids..But heard few stories from neighbours..She also said the same thing.She need to do everything twice.But once started going to play school and then school,she is free now.So think about the future and try to adjust the current situation.I understand ur kids are 2 yrs old r more.
You can start showing them cartoon videos or rhymes.At this stage,they will love watching.Initially they wont sit.But once they started watching,you will get atleast half an hr free time.
You can get puzzle games and ask them to do it.
if you cant go out,try playing ball with them inside home.
If you have company to watch them,go and spent time in park.
These are all I could remember ..
Dont worry and try to be happy since there are people who couldnt conceive a single child,,God gave you double treat..

 

Dear Kalpana,
I am mother to two boys (5 & 3). Even though I do not have twins, I understand you. My boys are hyper and First four years, since the eldest one was bors, i EXACTLY felt the same. I didnt have time to go to bathroom in a relax manner. They both didnt sleep through the night until both were aroound 22-24 months. It is getting better now. Different kind of challenges now. But everything will pass. Please try to get atleast 10 mins for only your self. My sanctiory was to read before I fall asleep or in the middle of the night after feeding the boys. It helped me pass through that time. You will come out and all the very best dear. Remember, IT WILL PASS
Vani

 

Hi Kalpana,

Hugs to you dear. I totally understand whatever you are undergoing. I am also there with a 23 month old, if I am there with one I can imagine what is the situation with two. I am on my toes all the time.................but as Ramya has mentioned God has blessed us to be mothers to these little angles. Ha..........that cuddles and hugs from the little one makes us forget everything .............................

My suggestion is please do not cancel your India trip, do this for your little one, I have read your other post , just go there for the sake of your little doll, it will make a lot difference.

You are a wonderful mother.

 

Why is your DH super busy? Is it worth it for you to undergo so much?

Can he find another job?

Also, time to leave kids at daycare full day.

If you are exhausted looking after your kids, what are the kids going to learn? Where is the learning, fun, interacting, creativity?

Time to take action was yesterday. Do it without delay!!

 

I don't have twins, so I can never say "I know how you feel". But my wise mother (as always) has said that God never gives us anything he thinks we are not strong enough for. She was talking to me then due to some horrible financial troubles we were having. But I think she was correct. God gave you the twins and the non-supportive in-laws only because God felt that you were strong enough to handle it. It may not feel like something you want from God, but as everybody else says, when they are a little older, the bond they share and the joy they give you will make you forget everything else.

Have you asked your husband for some emotional and moral support?

 

Part time/Full time Day care is your only solution. Trust me it will make ur life easy and manageable. It might cost money but you have to do it for yourself . Don't forget daycare teaches a lot of fun stuff to kids also grooms their personality in a very good way. Your kids are sure gonna love it there. I was in your state once with just one hyper kid...Sending him to a 4 hr Daycare turned my world around.

 

I agree with FromMars that your DH needs to pitch in and do his share of parenting and supporting you. It may not be possible right away, but you have to slowly work towards that. I have read your other posts that you are interested in studying and brushing up your skills to get ready for job search. Just hang on until your inlaws leave, may be after that, go to India as planned for couple of months and recharge your batteries, come back to US, put the kids in daycare for few hours everyday. Utilize the time to improve your skills and job searching. Get a job and ask your husband to slowly decrease his work timings or move on to a less demanding job that would give him time to spend with the family and share the kids responsibilities.

All these will not happen overnight, but this is definitely possible if you are persistent, things will fall into place sooner than you would expect. I am talking from my own experience, DH used to be workaholic, doing 15-20 hours overtime each week, he will go to work even on weekends. I was the sole parent to my son back then, used to be frustrated with no adult interaction, being not able to spend time with DH or go out to meet friends. When my son turned 1 and a half years old, I started sending him to daycare 3 hours a day and started working on my certification, got a job within six months. The added financial security after I started working, helped me to convince DH to move to a different team with less responsibilities. Our lives have improved a lot since then, I am a better mom to my son. But there would be a lot of hiccups every now and then but eventually you will get past that.