Orthodox Tamil Iyer customs of in-laws

I belong to a super orthodox Nampoothiri family. All these were a part of my mother's life. My maternal grandpa was a priest. Once my mom got married dad left her to her wish.

So all these concepts would be followed if there comes a puja in the house, not all days. With the busy world and people around, these things simply do not make much sense today.

 

Yes these customs are followed in many brahmin households. i wont say there are wrong, i also don't blame the people who is following it. They are doing it for years and it cant be stopped suddenly because someone is not following it. But the problem starts when someone who is not interested or used to it,is forced to follow those.

The receiving end should should be happy to follow the customs and it should not be forced. Adjustment is the only thing which solve these kind of problems. The wise elders have to understand the change in lifestyle and adjust a little. Same way the younger generation should understand the elders feeling and beliefs and adjust.

When both are stubborn or adjustment is expected always from one end, then there is no end to these kind of clashes.

 

I'm an andhrite brahmin, but I have seen my mom's sisters and aunts following these rules!!!

During festivals we also automatically start practicing them.

I never enter the kitchen without brushing my teeth in the morning... and most days, I finish my bath before entering the kitchen at 5:00 am!!! And I'm definitely current generation

I always keep an extra little dabba of curd which I use for the setting the next day, and this dabba will never be in the vicinity of the dining table I guess we follow this for setting curd because the same curd goes on for years, so some contamination somewhere means the whole set is contaminated (not nowadays when you can go out and buy dahi in the supermarket) !! The bigger dabba of ghee and oils also dont reach the dining table - we always get them in tiny dabbas

Dahi, ghee, milk etc forms a part of panchamrutam of Neivedyam maybe thats also one reason it shouldnt be "contaminated" by other eatables

 

dear op,
even at the age of 75 my mom follows all these things.it includes separate gas stove for preparing coffee or to boil milk.she daily gives bathe to the gas stove which is used for cooking.all these rules are to ensure hygiene only.comparing with her standard of living,when it comes to my life style i notice one thing that i eat old food items which are strored in the fridge on daily basis than my mom who never ever eats old stored items.
but i accept that "madi" thing can be followed only in tamil nadu.as i live in north india the climatic conditions always doesnot help to follow that.unless like tn,we can't sleep on the floor by lieing on a grass mat or without spend winters not wearing swetters or shawls which can't be washed daily

 

Hi, Neelraj,
I am quite familiar with these customs as my parents used to practice it and is still practiced at my ILs' place. My MIL had a separate gas stove that she would use for making coffee, tea, and boiling milk, water etc. She would not allow me to cook rice or sambhar or rasam (called "pathu" items because they have shorter shelf life, maybe - of course, milk also has shorter shelf life but is not considered "pathu") on the same stove. After meals are finished, she insisted on cleaning the gas stove with water and soap and then - only then - can the same stove be used for making coffee. Quite a pain, but it is the custom in our household. My DH would be asking constantly for cups of coffee when lunch is being prepared but I could just shrug my shoulders and point in her direction!

 

Point 2 and 3, even my MIL follows in her house but she eventually gives up when shez here. In India, they pour water over the rice and have it the next day. It is supposed to cool down your body. And point 1, all tamil Brahmins do that before any sacred ritual/function. My grandma still does that on a daily basis.
My MIL tried to give me a hint saying she feels awkward when food and other groceries are combined in the fridge and she has one shelf in the fridge dedicated for that in her place and even in my SIL's place she made them buy a small refrigerator to keep the leftovers. I pretended like I did not get the point :thumbsup

 

Dear op,
My grand mom and my mom for some extent was following these customs. Its actually good for being very hygiene. Of not storing left over food in fridge.

But taking bath before tea thats something which is ridiculous no one follows such things. I am from a Tamil iyer family.