My mum's style of parenting

Dear Cheeniya Sir,


I belong to the Millennials generation and Iam always fascinated by Lord Rama. 'Rakshathu Rama Lakshmanav' is what I pray everyday whenever I feel a little insecure.

No man is faultless, no God is faultless too. But, Lord Rama comes closer to being a perfect man/God. Rama must have suffered as much as Sita did or even more, sadly, nobody wrote about it and it caught nobody's attention. He was driven by destiny to punish his wife and sons, and in turn himself. For some reason, I think, while Mata Sita had to undergo Agni Pariksha once, the Lord himself had to undergo mental agony stronger than Agni Pariksha, not once or twice but everyday, till the end for what he had done to Sita. He was an 'Adarsh Purush' till the end, an 'Ega pathini virathan' till the end and only punished himself severely. Sadly, the epic that was meant to teach people about the virtues of a good man and woman, righteousness and duty of a king towards his people and several other morals, is often quoted for wrong reasons. It has become common for people to quote Rama as a person who suspected, taunted and neglected his spouse. But, what kind of person in his right mind, would ask his wife to get into the fire in front of his entire kingdom, if he had even one percent of suspicion that she might not be pure and that the fire might consume her. His love and trust was so strong that he was confident that the fire would not even touch her and her love and trust was so strong that she agreed to do it, to help him lead his kingdom righteously, to make people hold on to the good morals and values.

I wish people stop quoting Lord Rama and Mata Sita, for the wrong reasons.

Thanks for sharing your mom's style of parenting, she seems to be a very sensitive, sensible, warm and genuine person :2thumbsup:

 

Dear Cheeniya sir,

Let me start off at a tangent with my response and hopefully will find my way back to what you are trying to say. Not sure why, but when my dad told us stories from Ramayana, I always got the impression that if anything he felt empathy for Rama also, as much as he felt about the suffering Sita had to undergo. From my dad's point of view, it must have been as hard for Rama if not more to part with the woman he loved for the sake of something said by someone that was not even remotely related to him, in the name of His Dharma. Perhaps, he was looking at Rama as a man, married vs Rama, the King. My dad always spun stories with agony from Rama's point of view as much as he described Sita’s suffering.

Now, I am back to what you are saying. I don't have to tell you that indeed you have been so lucky to receive such affection from your mother. As I look back at my own parents and my childhood and as I look at my kids and myself as a parent, I can clearly see what I want to pass on, yes, ample love and fond memories just like the way my parents have showered me with. My mom was a stickler to perfection and my dad well, anything was alright as long as we were all smiling and happy. Now as much as my kids moan and groan when I do things like Sunday is a oil bath day, Saturday is a dosa breakfast day (yes, I can afford to do that only on weekends here!, Don't roll your eyes ), I know in my heart that they will look back and smile.

You have had the fortune of having your mom by your side for so long sir and now thank you for sharing her parenting tips for younger mothers like myself can benefit and add some to our lives.

 

Dear Cheeniyasir,

Lucky is the mother whose son remembers her even after all these years with such affection. See, even that is a blessing and does not happen to everyone. Wonder how many grown up men think of their mother with so much affection?

Come to think of it...Perhaps They All Do!! Is that not why our Relationship forum is thriving? :rotflOkay, let me not deviate from the love filled thread..Love for mother and Love for Lord Rama!!

I do not have to look too far into your childhood to know that you were nurtured by a very caring and intelligent mother. I have to only look at The Gentleman that you are today! We have the proof right here!!

It is touching to read our young members write how they wanted to marry someone like Rama and Ishwara/Shiva! Blame it on my Irish school that I always dreamed of Darcy or worse still, a Rhett Butler to carry me off my feet!!!!

I am sure my elders, bless them, are now saying "Hey Ram, rakshasu, rakshasu" !!

L, Kamla

 

Dear friends, if this post hurt any of your sentiments, i would like to say my son is 16 and in through a phase. he reads and enjoys cheeniya sir's rambling.so i do write what he says. nothing more.

coming to rama, krishna, i think i should be embarassed/proud to say that DS is more knowledgeable on the subject than all of us at home. you can ask him on any incident or story or character in these or even bible or quran.infact people ask him if they have doubts. he has commendable knowledge on these.

This morning he was reading this
Inferno (Dante) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
and when i asked him why, he says i want to know what was in it that the church was scared about the book and i also want to know if this is similar to what is mentioned in our scriptures..

the only advantage to me is i learn a lot in the process. i am sure sri would definitely bring a different angle to the discussion. waiting for it..

 

saby, so true, that sri's sharing his mom's style was like a cool breeze coming your way in the scorching heat. you learn a lot even as you read it right. not only sri, but indra aunty has been so besotted. a wonderful parent and a wonderful mom and above all a wonderful soul is all i can say. makes me believe love is everywhere, you only need to realise it is there instead of searching for it.

and enjoy the moaning and the growing saby. these are memories they cherish. mine still fondly bemuse on thursday lectures when they were young..it used to thurs/friday weekend where we lived then. and oiling and lectures were hand in hand. they fondly talk about the discussions, the cooking together, the fun and everything.

You made me laugh out loud kamla. DD has wall papers of Robert Patterson, Jensen Ackles,Ansel Elgort. Channing tatum and Zac Afron. though i wonder i know this girl is grounded as she says "Princes are for fairy tales" "there are kings only because there are princesses like me.."

 

Shanthi, I don't think anyone mistook you or your DS I know he is an awesome kid and you have done a wonderful job of raising him. Since we are all not born kings to uphold some dharma, we should do our best to uphold the dharma of being human and looks like your son has recognized it pretty soon!

Being open and learning with our kids is the best of part of parenting!

 

Dear Sir,

Parenting was and is never easy, but we put our whole heart into it while parenting. We whole heartedly want good results of it. Even if the kids would not acknowledge it's fine if they shape as good human beings with values like Rama ( I do not want to go into controversies about Rama as I have lot of Bhakti for Rama). That's enough. In your case your mother did a wonderful job as a mother and we can learn from her. And it is even more wonderful that son is appreciating his mother's upbringing even after so many years. I am doubtful if my own children would do that. Now a days young parents read books and bring up children (though nothing wrong with it).
Yea, my mother used to say "Sriramaraksha, noorell ayushushu (100 years of life)" after bath to my children. I don't remember her doing it to me or to my siblings....must have done.
Husband like Rama is ideal.Your mother wanted you to be like that with your wife. When we are hearing daily stories of MIL torturing DIL your mother wanted you to be like Rama to your wife. He is an ideal husband, son, brother and every relationship. Sitaramaklayanam is done every year for Sriramamnavami.

Fathers toil very much for the family and their love is not very expressive at times like mother, though they do love children equally.

A good one, relevant to every parent and every couple.

Syamala