i really want to make my hubby Happy...

Dear Tulip,
you are still newly married & in first year of marriage.RELAX...........forget about honeymoon........enjoy life where u live........since its just 2 of u......think everyday is honeymoon.Make dh feel extra special.dont talk bad about inlaws.dont talk much about ur folks either.cook his favorite dishes if u can.

I have been thru what u going thru..........after few years when u look back at all this u will laugh at the situation

take care dear

Jaya

 

Dear Tulip,
Cheer up, I really do not think there is nothing much to worry for you. Before starting to make your husband happy you take care of yourself and be happy, you will soon see that your husband's change.

I am sure our ILites would start replying as soon as they get time. Most of them are in different time zones, so please be patient.

About honeymoon, you still have time, anyway you guys are living alone, so it's always honeymoon, plan something when you guys are in a happy mood.

We didn't have a honeymoon as we thought it's better to stay with the parents as we both were in US before our marriage. So we spent our time with them. There are many people including me had initial issues like you have now. That's normal, you will soon find it is getting better as time goes, if you handle it with patience. I do not think your husband is abusive or he has any bad habits from your post.

So you try to know him slowly, get to know his friends and family, be part of them. take care of yourself and try to be easy a little bit. Since your MIL was nice to you early, try to keep it that way, never say anything bad to them, or don't even try to justify you, that never worked in the inlaws world. My beautician told me this while she is putting on make up during my wedding "She said you have to be nice to them always, be complement them, do not expect anything back from them, it's a long term investment, you will see the result really later". (She is a good example of this, she got married to our area from a distant place, now she is their favorite in the entire family.)

Please don't think over the honeymoon issue. Such things will destroy your peace. If you do it wisely you still have lot of time for honeymoon. This is your life and marriage. You can make it good or bad by your thoughts and actions.

Our ILites will give you better suggestions, I just thought you need some support by seeing your second post. You will be fine, be happy and smile please..
Cheeful.

 

hi tulip

dont worry..................it happens for more ppl in first year of marriage......first thing u hv to do is think only husband,husband and husband.......................just shower ur full love on ur hubby............if he fight just stay quite.........aftersometime just give him a pleasant smile.........then he realise abt u.....may be he speak better than before.......and you must make understand abt u........see through out the life we stay with our DH only.........so ignore all other things...........love ,love,love,love is the only thing makes ur DH heart open..........see...what we give is reciprocate to us.......being a good man he ll surely understand..........so....be...happy


bye

 

hi tulip.
whatever u have told,has all happened to me and continuing..it happens almost everywhere except some matured inlaws..I experienced the same thing and now everything has subsided.i could not go for honeymoon..his father didn't allow us to go and asked us to be with them..but when we were on the way to USA,we inbetween went for some places to go for honeymoon.. if u hold on things,u cannot come out..just let go things..what to do? my inlaws has commented very badly about me(really,there is nothing to say abt me and my family!..it is all b'cos of insecurity feeling) i was surprised to read ur thread..it is all similar situation what i faced..my hubby also was serious when my parents came here for my sister's delivery..when i start holding on things,things won't move...now he is very affectionate..it is all because of inlaws,who interrupt their son's life and happiness and suck their(son and DIL) energy due to only the only insecurity..so,please be calm and divert ur mind towards something different..this is just my advice..pls don't nag ur hubby or unnecessarily complain about his parents...whatever his parents do,good or bad,THEY ARE PARENTS to him..so,leave things,as time pass by everything will disappear! don't worry dear! be happy. I have given a practical view point out of experience..please do not mistake me in any sense.
thanks

 

Dear Tulip,

My marriage was held in between my exam dates ... Also, my First night was not celebrated by my In-laws ... We haven't been to honey moon also ... Don't trust anyone and never complain about your In-laws to anyone dear ... Try to face everything boldly and in patience too ... Everyone as given such a lovely kind advice here ... Yes, whatever happened forget it .. After few years this all will get vanished ... I have face alot of hurts from my In-laws but now they are fine with me ... Think that many worse situations are there than yours ... Everyone faces problems during the beginning of marriage ... Trust, care and love your Hubby ... He is one for you now ...

If you want to make your hubby happy ... First, Never Never Never speak bad about his parents .... because they are his Mother and father dear ... Even if you are in same situation .. you will feel the same when others speak about your parents ... Even if he speaks about his parents, just listen and say as you wish ... When they come speak with them politely even if they speak harsh with you ... Time heals everything and everyone ...
Secondly, Cook favourite food of your hubby ... Nothing else comes like filling your hubby's stomach with tasty cooking ...
Thirdly, Always be smiling ... never show angry instead do Yoga / Meditation and PRAY to GOD ...
Finally, Please never share anything happening in your house to your Parents as they will feel hurt dear ... you have to face the situations ...

I have been married for nearly 8 years, we all are giving you advice only by our experience ... Please dont show your Anger .. Men never likes anger from their wife also TEARS ...

DON'T CRY OR GET ANGER UNNECESSARILY AND VERY OFTEN ... If you do it often, then your Hubby will not give importance later ...

God Bless You dear and cheer up Tulip ...

 

Dear Tulip,
First of all keep yourself cool. I feel sorry for you. But its life.Nothing is in our hands.But we cant say everyday is same day. May be you are looking one side of mirror. you have to lok from your hubby's point of iew. May be what you feel he may not feel same thing if both get tempered there is no solution. you have to make him feel that u care him a lot no matter how ur in laws are with u.In laws never accept us so soon. They keep on testing our patience.First of all dont make them feel that whats bothering u once they know they keep on pinching on the same issue.Never let your husband know how much u love him becoz once he knows that u cannot live without him he ll always take u for granted.Let him express the feeling for u . U be in your own world. Keep yourself busy. take some classes. You can join Art of Living course that ll give you more relaxed and make your inner strength with positive rays.You can log on to Art of Living Foundation and u can know the nearest centre I ve done this course n now i m v happy. I wish you all the best.No one in this world is without problems some has small some has big problems Keep crystal clear relation with ur hubby. Always keep smiling in front of him Dress yourself with trendy clothes some new stylish make up with new accesories which match ur clothes cook new dishes for him. When in a good mood slowly u can share your feelings with him. I wish u all the best.

Love,
PriyaHarhar