I Am Ringing The Warning Bell. Are you Listening, Ladies?

Again, A Supplementary Post of Substantial Wisdom, Preethi!

Dear Preethi,

It takes a lot of moral courage to confess one's weakness in an open forum. The mere fact you told us that you don't listen much, shows that you are already on the correction path. Courage to confess a fault normally precedes the determination to do away with them. You are going to be a wonderful listener, Preethi.

The Aval Vikatan incident you have quoted is quite powerful. I would only blame the parents. Their trusting a rank outsider while suspecting their precious child puts them on the stand and make them deserve the punishment. Thank God, the girl was smart; otherwise either she would have been spoilt or she would have killed herself.

Thanks for the first, nice response, which sort of reassured me, because I was wondering how the post will be received by ILites.
regards,
Varalotti

 

I am now bowing to your graceful ovation, Pallavi!

Hi Pallavi,
To venture into discussions of this nature it took me almost a year. Only after carefully gauging the ILites responses, was I able to take this bold step. Now emboldened by the enthusiastic appreciation from you and other ILites, I am planning to move over to even hard-core areas like greed and jealousy. The problem with these topics is that we have too much of preaching and too little understanding. It is one thing to say that jealousy is bad. But everything stops there. Jealousy is bad. I am not jealous. People mutter these two sentences and close the subject.
But what we do here is examine that quality under the magnifying lens and then find out the symptoms, the effects and if we find it a disease, some probable cures as well.
Thanks for those words which really pepped me up.
regards,
sridhar

 

What I say in a hundred words, you say it in six, VS!

"we pass off preoccupation as politeness" Six words, just six words which have conveyed what I took a couple of hundred words to do.
I know the subject matter is quite interesting (from the posts of others) but is the "object" as interesting as the subject, is a moot question.
When we were discussing the design of my next book, my publisher wanted my colour picture on the back-cover. That is his standard design for all the books.
But I rejected the design and told him, that all other writers he is publishing, like Solomon Pappiah, Suki Sivam, Kiran Bedi etc. are already famous and well known faces. Their faces wold sell; but not mine. So I wanted the excerpts from the book to be printed on the blurb.
'Don't you like publicity?' he enquired accusingly. I told him that I want all the publicity in the world but that is for my writings and the object would love to hide himself somewhere in the words he has written.
Sorry for some suyapuranam which was spurred by the subjecty-object reference.
Attention deficit is a really good word to describe the lack of listening. Enjoyed the Dors episode very much.
Thanks once again ,VS
sridhar

 

Thanks Vidhi!

Dear Vidhi Madam,
(the eternal rule in Varalottis threads is that a "Sir" always begets a "Madam")
I am very happy you liked the thread. I am happier still that you are known as a listener among your friends, which is a rare honour. I am happier still more that in spite of that, you want to listen even more.
Hats off to you.
thanks vidhi.
regards,
varalotti

 

Thanks Sudha!

Dear Sudha,
One day my heart will burst in pride listening to ladies who openly admit their shortcomings in an open forum. Happy to know that you are now listening.
And you have made a most pertinent observation, Sudha. About the husband-wife conversation (my friend says that husband-wife conversation is like the famed golden deer; both are non-existent.)
I looked deep into myself why that was unconsciously omitted by me. May be that I dont listen enough when my wife is talking. And with that kind of attention-deficit-disorder to which most husbands are prone, it will be a sort of hypocrisy if I start advising on that. Let me try to improve myself first before venturing to "preach" on that topic. My wife does not have the time to read most of my threads. I hope that she does not get time to read this one too.
Thanks for the nice (and uncomfortable) observations, Sudha.
regards, sridhar

 

Sharp Observations About Parenting!

Dear Vandhana,
You are right. Parents think that parenting stops with providing the necessary material things for their children. Thats why if they detect their child going astray, they lament, "I gave a computer for you; I installed a TV/DVD in your room. Still..." not realising for a moment that material comforts without parental care is a sure way to disaster.
Parents do not have the time for child-rearing. Nor do children have enough time to talk to their parents. Many parents are not interesting to talk to, is a point we as parents should look deep into. Conversation with children means showering advice on them, uncalled for, unwanted and mostly unheeded to.
Thanks for the nice response, Vandhana.
regards,
sridhar

 

Thanks Vidya For Illumining This Thread!

I built the house and with your quotes you have illumined it. The quotes are really profound. Had I known about them earlier, my leader post might have been richer.
I am intrigued by the term IL Whisperer appearing in the title of your post. Have time to throw light on the meaning of these words?
regards,
sridhar