make children aware of inappropriate touch

Aamini

Please help your daughter understand the world correctly. Your over protective nature may spoil the little one's mind.

See, you have been telling your little one that every uncle on the road is bad. You have been constantly asking her whether some one touched her or not, where and how. This little one is some way or the other forced to give you an answer.

This is not a good approach when it comes to raising awareness, specially to the kids.
As I said earlier, if you keep on telling kids about bad things, bad people and bad touches, she will only see everything through that tinted eye. For her an hand shake or a casual hug from a new man (uncle) is bad. Because her mother had told her every uncle is bad, and every touch is bad.
Since you indirectly force the little one to say something about the touch-experience on a daily basis, she would come up with interesting stories as if something had happened. She does that mainly to escape from your constant advice/questions.

Sometimes an abuse may have happened, sometimes not. But definitely this is not the right approach to get the information out from a kid.

Perhaps, you try to read the PPT that I shared above.

Tell your child what is good touch and what is bad touch. Why it is good and why it is bad. When it is good, how they feel. When it is bad how they feel. If they feel good, then who did that. If they feel bad, then who did that.
If the touch is bad, then what they need to do? Why they can't confront, if so what can be done.

Your child may lose her trust and comfort in you if you keep on asking her questions. Just leave it at that. Be vigilant. Ensure that you are there for your kid. Pass this message to your kid and everyone involved in that.

If you are doubtful of the driver, change the transport method. Don't wait until something bad happens.

I normally inform the teacher and school about my kid's absence. I make it a point that I will inform this to the teacher apart from calling up the school's TP line. So, if my son's teacher didn't get any notification from me about my kid's absence, she would call me up to inquire.

It is our duty to establish a proper care system for our kids, than expecting everyone around us to be perfect.

 

Thanks Shanvy. I don't know about other parents. But, will try to reach out other parents. So that we can together take this suggestion of having female attender.

 

Aamni dear,

we can't live in fear. being a mother of a 18 year old girl, who travels to college by train or scooter everyday i can understand the fear that you are talking about. but if i were to stop my daughter for every step of hers both of us cannot move forward. life becomes miserable. I have learnt to hide my fears and encourage her to be brave and strong.

We live in a world of uncertainity nothing remains the same. we have to take the happenings with a pinch of salt. learn what to do and what not to do from what we observe.

i have a friend, who had pco issues when it was not so common that is around 15/16 years ago. her mom used to ask her did that guy touch you, did you do this thing every day if her periods were late. it became so worse that she started hating her body and her mother it left a very deep scar in her that reflects in her life even today at 30.

being there for your child, being conscious, being practical, being strong and guiding them by example is the only way. if you are always in fear, your daughter will also learn the same. there is a term for fear of sexual abuse- Agraphobia/contreltophobia..the abnormal fear of sexual abuse.

Her cheerful nature will fizzle out. Her trust on people will equally fizzle out. it is our duty as parents, to learn and unlearn certain things along with our kids. you need to learn to be brave, and unlearn to get into emotional tangle with every news that we hear. if that is the case, you will be dying everyday with the fear. there is a case or more everyday around the world and in our country. dont give the fear the power, to rule over you and your life and that of your child's childhood (whatever that is there)

talk to the school on your wanting a lady assistant or carpool with other parents.
remember your child is your priority, and in today's world she is just another student for the school. keep in touch with other parents.

I have this friend, who drops her kid at school and hangs around with other parents and now the whole of them are a strong gang who know what is happening in school. they are like the bureau of insider information on the school. i don't say that you need to be like my friend. but learn to form a network.

hugs, and be brave.

 

Thanks Shanvy & SGBV. Loved your post.
It is bang on topic ...understood my issue here.

Yes, I will try not to spoil my daughter's little fearless mind infusing my fears to her.

I think what i have enquired to her till now only might have given strong base. Here after i will not enquire daily. I will check once in a while may be once in a month. Or just when i feel she looks dull or disturbed.

Thanks again.