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The Art of Turning Deaf - Compilation of Ideas

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by silvertulip, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Hi dear,
    After reading your posts I get that ur DH doesn't support u. He listens to ur co-sis and MIL. In this case u have to stand up for urself dear. Are u working? Why don't u take a job and keep urself away from those irritating people for few hours? As u said ur DH asked for divorce, I will say if he is willing to leave u for his family and is not concerned about u, do u think he will be there for u when u will need him? Won't he give priority to his family for anything than taking care of u? Will he ever trust u rather than trusting his parents and co-sis? If it's u who is dragging the relationship for sake for reputation in the society, then think again. Your life is more important than the so called social reputation. U need someone who loves u and cares for u rather than someone with whom u are living for sake of marriage and reputation. If he doesn't trust and respect u then he doesn't deserve to be in ur life. U will have to help urself by deciding how u want ur marriage to be, then only others can help u.
     
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  2. snm1984

    snm1984 Platinum IL'ite

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    Loved this thread.
    I usually imagine my Mil to be a mentally challenged person,that helps me sometimes to have a bit more patience (still working on it!) to deal with the nonsense stuff she does.
    When she is :rant I have sometimes imagined sealing her irritating mouth with fevi quick and putting a cellophane tape on top of it,the mere thought of it gives so much pleasure....:thumbsup
     
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  3. caty45

    caty45 Bronze IL'ite

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    Hi, in order to go for separation is another a very bold step to take in life. I am continuing my dumb and deaf behavior. But this is very much sure that my husband will never ever take my side when my co-sister is fighting. And also I am very much sure that no girl will ever live under the control and domination of co-sister and MIL. As far as my job is concerned I am still studying and clearing my exams but I find difficult to study in this environment. I do not know how everything will go but every time it is the same story.I even stopped responding to my MIL and co-sister. I cook food only for myself and eat and do not even talk to them .My husband and in-laws whisper and conspire about me always which is always being led by my co-sister. Also I am taking ideas, advices and is learning from people on how to stand up for myself.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2012
  4. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes, getting separated is a major decision. But as u said, u r only cooking for urself that u dont talk to ur ILs, for how long can u live in such negative environment? U think they will let u live peacefully if they are conspiring against u all the time? Are u safe in that house?

    Remember one thing reputation, respect nothing matters more than ur safety and life. It's better that u talk to people and find a solution to this problem than letting it grow as it will make ur life difficult.
     
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  5. PriyaPrahlad

    PriyaPrahlad Silver IL'ite

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    Really useful thread :) I need to develop lot of patience to tackle them.:( If I respond they say I talk back.If I dont respond also it becomes a mistake. :( Please help friends.
     
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  6. PriyaPrahlad

    PriyaPrahlad Silver IL'ite

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    It is very soothing to read your idea !
     
  7. confusedwoman

    confusedwoman Silver IL'ite

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    OMG this is so hilarious and yet the perfect solution to almost anything, I love it Maggie2009,:bowdown kudos to you
     
  8. shobhamumbaikar

    shobhamumbaikar Gold IL'ite

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    ha ha ha ha ha ha...
     
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  9. silvertulip

    silvertulip Platinum IL'ite

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    Well whether u reply or keep quiet..DIL is always at fault!

    Over these years of living with my MIL, I have realized that holding anger against her does not help but harms ur mental peace. Best way..listen and ignore..no response makes them say things.. but over a time they know u just wont buzz.. and it helps u as u dont carry that poison in ur heart.. just know how they are and be tactful in dealing with them (I don't go overboard while doing my duties for my MIL and she feels she has a cold DIL.. my SIL gives lectures still (be nice to mom, love her like she loves u blah blah..) but the poison MIL injected in our relation has made me cold..I just do my duties and nothing else!
     
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  10. drnamshara

    drnamshara Gold IL'ite

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    I could picturize my little SIL saying this dialogue to me!! now that we have moved nearer mine and DHs work place for week days staying and go back to ILs home for weekends..SIL expects me to call her mom (my MIL) frequently and find out her well being often.. I pay my MILS phone bills every month! Cant she herself call?
    At least once!!!???

    The only calls i get from her voluntarily is when she wants to yell at me as to why I got the wrong rava during the weekend or some blunder which I may have created in the weekend that she notices after I have left home!! Otherwise ground rule is I have to call!
    Now after reading all the 10pgs I want to feel NO MORE guilt of not calling her every day!
    BLANK stare...I really dont know how to enact it!!! :confused2:

    Can any one help with that?? :lol:
     

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