Is this common in the US? Please HELP..

Yes it is most common in the US, because of transportation problem. Nothing wrong in it, don't warry about your husband.

 

Dr reachmeusa,

I think u r making ur husband to lie to u. Is ther any event in the past that triggered to suspect ur husband or think bad about the opposite sex friendship . i dont think ur nature is conservative not open minded. u think that girl and guy cannot be friends at all or cant talk with each others as friends... thats really bad.. now a days we all go hand in hand..
I also personally (my personal opinion) think that this kind of mentality for girls also triggers men to easily abuse them since they are mentally weak and not string enough to face a men. so try to understand what is practicality and that will help in long run...

 

To all the super duper excessively conservative/jealous/suspicious wives (and husbands),

we have this really sweet festival called 'Rakshabandhan' coming up shortly. Make creative use of it to allay your fears

 

OP, I am not sure if this is any solution to your issues, but just wanted to share thoughts.

I think that if I were in your place, I would not be OK with this kind of extended arrangement. More than that, I would definitely been disturbed by H's attitude. As many others have said, it is not about whether carpooling is fine or not, but whether the persons involved are comfortable with it.

I meet many new men and women (Indian and other) in my line of work, and often have to exchange courtesies/mails/calls. My H has been very supportive of my career and never had a problem with my keeping in touch with all these people. Once, I had exchanged business cards with an Indian guy who was a big shot in a big company, and he sent me an email which was not flirty or anything, but kinda showed that he was interested in me as a person rather than at a business level. He then went on to add me on Skype, gtalk etc. etc. and message whenever I was online. At this point DH said "Block him." Which I did without asking questions. I perfectly understood that he was not comfortable with this.
I would have done the same if our roles had been reversed.

It is disturbing that your H is not paying heed to your apprehensions and feelings about the whole thing. Just because you were overly possessive earlier, does not mean that he can choose to dismiss your feelings.

I would also blame the lady who has to understand that the wife may not be okay with it. It may sound absurd, but if I was in such a situation that I really had to ride with a married man alone in a car everyday, I would directly call his wife and check with her, explaining my situation.
If she was raised in India, she ought to understand that people coming from India on an average, might have issues with this kind of arrangement (for days together).
(Note that if you were in H's place and a male colleague were to carpool alone with you, I would have said the same thing..)

Having arrived in a foreign country which speaks a completely different language, in my early twenties all alone on work, I too have gone through weeks of helplessness and desperation. However, one needs to understand that it is up to you to take the initiative and learn the ropes, instead of conveniently depending on others, even if they are helpful Indians.

 

Sure it is very common for people to carpool. But just because it is common does not mean everyone has to like it.

I frankly like some peace and quite on my way to work so if someone were to ask if they could car pool with me, I would not be okay. Not just that, coordinating going to and leaving work at same time may not be practical. What if I want to work late on a given night or worse, they want to work late? Do I have to wait around???

Different strokes for different folks. Something like loving and hating pets. Just like no one can make someone a pet lover, no one can make someone a carpool lover

I respect OP's wishes if she is uncomfortable with another woman riding with her husband for over two hours everyday. I am not crazy possessive ( or rather my husband never gave me reasons to be crazy or possessive) but I would not like the idea of some woman spending two hours alone with my husband. Op has the right to her opinion. Her husband is wrong to do something his wife clearly feels uncomfortable.

 

That's your opinion, fair enough. He clearly disagrees with your (and OP's) opinion though

 

Different strokes for different folks, you see....gigglingsmiley

 

reachmeusa.....don't do this to yourself dear.
Since he is not listening...just forget it.
You tune yourself out.Nothing will happen./Most likely he is doing this just to get an ego boost that he can do what he likes and you can't stop him.

Just give yourself some time.Don't talk about this and find a way to distract yourself. Try to be happy and look happy.soon he will get worried and wonder why you don't care any longer.Chill girl.You will fall sick .hugsmileyhugs to you.