help my friend please to decide her life

god2014 · Jun 5, 2014

Hello friends,
It's a long post with lots of complications. So please help me to guide my best buddy who is now in darkness of life. The story begins. My friend and her office colleague loved each other,they were so intimate and true too. During that time my friends parents began to search for alliance and fixed too.meanwhile the girl told the guy that these are happening at home. The guy had earlier told that he was in love with a GIrl at his college, my friend took it lightly thought it was a prank. Later my friend told go marry her and he took it seriously and engagement was fixed for that guy. My friend never wants to cheat her seen proposal guy so she some how stopped her engagement. She argued me that I was very much intimate to my lover I can't cheat any new person and I don't have guts at present to tell my mom. OK now from guy's side marriage arrangements started, he could not stop it as that girl was the one he loved.sametime he could not leave my friend. One day that guy made a call to the girl and asked my friend to speak to her. She openly told that he loved her the most so please stop all and cancel the marriage. The girl cut the call and went off. After so much trying nothing could be done marriage took place. My friend and the guy still loved each other, they argue it's our life we three will manage and live. Now the twists comes my friends parents comes to know this, the next moment they stopped her from office, got away her phone, and humiliated her by going to her office with few relatives and told MD that their daughter was involved in such a such thing. Without any proper resignation she quit. She was kept in house arrest. Until today for the past two years she is at home.meanwhile that guy also resigned the job and the girl came to know their love fully. Here it's triangular love the guy loves both of them. The girl and my friend too loves the guy. None of them is ready to leave each other. My friend lost her job hard earned reputation as she served a managerial post. It's a girly thing which could have been solved inside four walls now everyone know it and she is now not ready to marry anybody other than the guy who she loved, but the guy is married. Honestly the guy is ready to marry her anytime she comes out of her home. In this case please help me suggesting on is my friend right in marrying that guy, how can she tackle her parents. Her points are they publicly told that I am in love with him so I cannot marry another guy telling all these stories. Their parents argue that it's all past let us forget and not tell the guy who you are going to marry. She was merely a veggie at home for 2years as they never allowed her out or talk to anyone. What must she do now also what their parents did is right or wrong. Please give your honest view to help my mourning friend.

han412 · Jun 5, 2014

god2014 said: ↑

Honestly the guy is ready to marry her anytime she comes out of her home.
Click to expand...

Really, then why did he get married to someone else in the first place and spoiled 3 lives. How immature of him to start marriage proceedings just for the teasing of your friend.
I think the parents had no other option as your friend was not willing to listen to reason even after her BF was married to someone else. Let her talk to her parents, win their confidence and go out, work, heal herself first and then think of marriage ( certainly not to this immature guy).

yellowmango · Jun 5, 2014

I think both the women here are pathetic and without any self respect. Your friend wants to marry a guy who left her and married someone else. The other woman is pathetic for marrying him and continuing to be married to him.
the guy is the smart one who is wants the cake and eat it too.
How will he marry her if he is already married? unless he is planning to convert his religion and marry both?

As for your friend...encourage her to go out and work again. having an affair is not the end of the world.As for marriage...I think she is too silly and it is better she does not think of marriage for a long time.

Rise · Jun 5, 2014

tell the guy to be loyal to his wife... and the other girl to get a life.. ... if they were SOOO much in love why go and destroy another woman life......

sneha10 · Jun 5, 2014

i accept with yellow mango, the guy is the smart one who is wants the cake and eat it too....
how can someone love two people??? as told by you, your friend is smart enough to get such a decent job how come she herself fall prey for this guy???
Tell her to move on life is just not that guy... there are many better people in this world...

Let her convince her parents and start working to gain her self confidence and get on with life... Marrying a person who is already married makes her life more worse... The path used by her parents might not be right but what they did by not letting her marry him is really correct...

crazywriter · Jun 5, 2014

Finding it a little hard to believe that your friend's parents would go to her office and publicly declare to everyone that their daughter had an affair with her colleague. why would any parent do that? Agree with others, she has to move on, this guy is a jerk. He is married now, she should not harbour any hopes anymore.

suasin · Jun 5, 2014

Do you really think there was anything wrong in the parents advice??? Maybe house arrest and the way they handled it was wrong, but sorry to be rude, what makes you think you know better than them in this? If you are a mother, think what you will do. If these people want to go triangular, all the more fools they are!!!

wait, guys, is this for real? Not a fully loaded.....? triangle, supportive friend, villainous parents, its like our movies . Imagination running dry ..

lilypad · Jun 5, 2014

I am not sure I understand. Your friend wants to continue her relationship with the guy , while he remains married to his current wife. Your friend , the guy and his wife all know and accept that there are three people in this relationship, not two.
I am a big believer in people having the right to make unconventional choices so long as all parties involved are aware and on the same page, and they are not hurting or deceiving anyone else.

But from your message it doesn't seem that that's what she wants . I think she expects the guy to leave his wife and marry her.
Also I am not sure how much of this is really love . Her family has been really trying , imposing their wishes ontp her, making her leave her job, and keeping her imprisoned in the house. Sounds to me like your friend is immature, angry at her family, and not giving up on this guy is her way of rebelling against them, and being with the guy is like winning.

god2014 · Jun 5, 2014

han412 said: ↑

Really, then why did he get married to someone else in the first place and spoiled 3 lives. How immature of him to start marriage proceedings just for the teasing of your friend.
I think the parents had no other option as your friend was not willing to listen to reason even after her BF was married to someone else. Let her talk to her parents, win their confidence and go out, work, heal herself first and then think of marriage ( certainly not to this immature guy).
Click to expand...

The problem is their parents are never ready to send her for job, they want her to get married now and go out anywhere. Also they informed all relatives and friends of her story. She was more wounded that way. She is not ready to marry at present and unable to forget the love. I advised her to forget but it's not happening. She is very much particular not to marry anybody else. I don't know if they had physical relations due to which she is very adamant.

god2014 · Jun 5, 2014

All three are ready to share their life. She is very well ready to be with the girl to whom he is married. All three involved are well aware of their love and ready to share