hlp

han412 · Jun 3, 2014

My blood is boiling even as I write this . My cousin got married 1 yr back. Good supportive husband. My sis broke her silence today. Her FIL uses abusive language towards her. Its a daily thing in their house. Her husband supports her , FIL and husband have a big fight. Then next day again when her husband goes to office the drama starts again. She started getting anxiety attacks and has consulted a doctor. She asked me today what she should do. I suggested 2 options file a police complaint against FIL for harassment or give him a good scare by coming to stay with me for a month or two. Ladies can you give me some more options?
He has threatened to knife her!!!! That was the absolute limit for me. I have to stand up for my sister. Its ok that she says her husband supports her then why has no constructive action been taken and why the abuse continues day in and day out? I asked her this and she said my husband says my father is a rabid dog who has no cure.
Her parents , relatives etc. stay far away and I am the only one in the same city.
He uses such bad words and dirty language that my sis just keeps quiet till her husband comes home.

hope2b · Jun 3, 2014

Ask her to record it on tape. The whole drama. Play it in front of H. Ask him to take a decision of getting out to a new place or he gets to happily stay with his father and she hers.

nalinidiv · Jun 3, 2014

ask her to show him dat she cant take all dis bull****.. der are many ways to do it.. I wud say she is responsible for her state atleast in one or other way... She jus should nt keep quiet takin in all the ****.. Soemtimes people stop wen u react... let her try dat.. if things do not come positively.. we can think of other measures.. but before she reacts.. Iw ud strongly suggest to shoot the entire drama with her mob camera... jus as a proof n send it to many ppl/gadgets.. so even if its deleted she will ahve some back up

lilypad · Jun 3, 2014

She needs to leave now. This is an extremely toxic environment.

since her husband is supportive , she needs to insist to him that they need to move out and set up a new house somewhere else. She doesn't need to have to anything with FIL.

MrsBV · Jun 3, 2014

does she not have the option to move out with her husband? the FIL wont change but it is important for the DH to take action against his disgusting behavior.. and in my opinion, move out and also file a case against him as you yourself think..

RedRuby · Jun 3, 2014

I like hope2be´s suggestion to record it one tape, after she plays it to hubby she informs him she will leave to your house to give him space and time to take a decission and strong action.

The options given to him will be:

She wont come back and files a complaint if he is not supportive and chooses to go against her and forces / beg´s her to come back to live with Fil

Option too is he looks for seperatet house in the meanwhile she is staying in your place. In that case she can liberally overlook for now to file a complaint, but if he threatens her with a knife or anything similar dangorous again she has barely another chance if he (hubby) wont protect her.

He can not escape by telling father has no other relatives, this doesnt give him a carte blanche to abuse his Dil!

In the meantime she can gather other proof together and get some advice from lawyer just in case he doesnt come to his sences.

vathsala30 · Jun 3, 2014

It is better take him to any good psychiatrist or for councelling, It is dangerous to stay with him alone in the same house when hubby is away to office as anything can happen any moment

peacetips · Jun 4, 2014

HAN:

Before you make decisions for your sister and her life, have you considered the following:

1. What was your sister or her family's contribution in this whole drama?

2. Is your sister's FIL a person that gets angry for nothing, or without a cause?

3. Where is your sister's MIL? Is she supporting FIL or SIL?

4. Does your sister have a child?

Before knowing any of these, it may be too premature to act rash, and be supportive to 'save' your sister's life. I would urge you to make your decisions of helping your sister knowing the full story. You are the THIRD person here.