Joke

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by Akanksha1982, May 27, 2014.

  1. GaythriV

    GaythriV Platinum IL'ite

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    @Akanksha - a very nice thread, enjoyed to the core
     
  2. HasteRaho

    HasteRaho Platinum IL'ite

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    :-D I came across some:

    A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
    The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband. Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
    The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

    And another one:

    Dear Mother in Law -
    "Don't teach me how to handle my children, I'm living with one of yours and he needs a lot of improvement."
     
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  3. SGBV

    SGBV IL Hall of Fame

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    A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!


    The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

    Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
     
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  4. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    A bus carrying 20 married women fells off a cliff and all of them dies. At the funeral ceremony, 21 husbands are crying. Suddenly, they realize they have one more than 20. They ask the 21st guy why is he crying. He says, "my wife missed the bus. So I am crying"
     
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  5. Akanksha1982

    Akanksha1982 IL Hall of Fame

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    One day God is impressed with the devotion of a couple and appears. He tells the wife to ask 3 wishes but her husband was more devotional so he gets twice what you ask.
    So the wife ask, "I wish to get 1 billion of dollars" God give her billion dollars and his husband gets 2 billion. Wife says, make me beautiful. God makes her beautiful and her husband becomes very handsome. Wife then says, give me a mild heart attack. The husband gets twice strong and dies.
     
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  6. pinky6

    pinky6 Platinum IL'ite

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    Wife:darling,i saw in my dream that you were buying me a diamond ring
    Husband:i saw your dad paying the bill
    .................................................................
    Husband:i want divorce. my wife hasn't spoken with me in six months
    Lawyer:Think about it once again.wifes like that are hard to get!
    ...........................................................................................


    position of husband is like split A.C.No matter how loud he is outside but inside the house he is designed to remain silent,cool and controlled by remote...
     
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  7. littl

    littl Platinum IL'ite

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    A battle joke wanted to share :biggrin2:

    A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting.
    “How are we faring?” asks the king.
    “Sire,” replies the knight, “I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west.”
    “What?!” shrieks the king. “I don’t have any enemies to the west!”
    “Oh, no…” says the knight. “Well, you do now.”
     

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  8. littl

    littl Platinum IL'ite

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    oh no all Men and women secreats getting revealed ............. faintingsmiley ........... laugh1smiley.............. Awesome posts by all .. enjoying alot :crazy
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2014
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  9. vishal21

    vishal21 Silver IL'ite

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    Garbage Truck
    Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
    Am I Too Late For The Garbage?
    Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
    Jumppp Innn Fasttt.
    yumsmiley

    2. WISHING WELL

    A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

    3)A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, "Honey, if I died would you get married again?"
    The husband said, "No sweetie."
    The woman said, "I'm sure you would."
    So the man said, "Okay, I would"
    Then the woman asked, "Would you let her sleep in our bed?"
    And the man replied, "Ya, I guess so."
    Then the wife asked, "Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
    And the husband replied, "No, she's left handed."
    :coffee
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2014
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  10. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    one father and son died in an accident, their respective wives smiling and chilling at the funeral. A surprised person asked the women "why you are happy when the folks are dead?". First lady said "that lady became widow... I am happy".
     
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