Sick of husband spending too much time on hobbies :(

Hi Dimhere. Thanks for your reply and everyone else too. When i meant control issues....after marriage we moved in with my inlaws and they were very controlling in the sense that if we were out for a movie on a friday night...my husband would get a text midway asking what time we will b home....and that they will be up to have a family talk (until like midnight)...family talk would be about how we were so absorbed in each other and that we had no responsibility towards the family etc etc...they would control me and say when rahul goes for cricket i must stay home all day sunday and was not allowed to go anywhere...basically they wanted to get full control of me. I was not used to this even from my parents...so i think i made the mistake of taking my anger out on my husband and making him stay latee after movies at coffee shops so his parents would stop expecting us to go home at midnight to a big panchayat... I didn't like their interferrings. So thats when I would tell him not to go to cricket or if he went to drop me at the mall or take me with him....this would annoy his parents so a lot of the time he wouldnt go. I know this might be controlling him indirectly...but my purpose was to make sure his parents didnt suceed in controlling me.......and i didnt act smartly enough and my actions drove us both apart and he belives this was all ''controlling'' and also as this led to us moving out even tho he was so reluctant.

My point being...i don't think i was controlling...i think i dealt with the situation wrongly. i should have said whatever i wanted to my inlaws and not brought my husband into it... and now that there is so much damage......its very hard to fix it. Also, my husband feels i presurred him to get married earlier than he wanted....so he feels hes a kid and just because hes married he doesnt have to give up all his hobbies so thats why hes so reluctant to reduce it. I know he knows what hes doing it wrong but he doesnt admit it to me....because he wants to do what he wants.

My other issue wth cricket is that he gets so tired in the weekend from playing so much cricket he is never in the mood to initiate intimacy..and rather tries to avoid it. If he would atleast satisfy me in that way then I think I would be so much happier..I always have to initiate...and when i do there is a 40% chance of rejection......I hate this feeling.

I feel I got the worst husband possible I feel I should really have left him last year I was only 25.....now time is passing by and the longer I'm with him the more im settling for what is and lowering all my expectations from my marriage. Do you guys feel I am over reacting? Many husbands are this way? Last year my mom and close friends would advise me to leave him..they would say if he doesnt satisfy anything leave...but now as things r slowly a little better (or i have given up on the things i wanted before so things r improving)...they tell me whats the chance the next guy will be perfect...its not easy walking away from a marriage I feel unless a partner has cheated or done something drastic.........

 

Hi Darmesh....yes those problems r much much better now....slowly but steadily they r improving..

So my husband has cut down on the weekday practices as the season games have started.......which means he is gone 7am to 8pm on saturdays (as has both 25 overs and 50 overs games)....sooo he says to me WHY dont i go watch his games...as ill get to be with him for the 4 hours or so when his team is batting and he is sitting on the side....i am not going tomorrow as I want to do a few things and i already made plans with a friend ... but thats only for a few hours...i will b alone alllll day....but he WILL be home on sunday. i was wondering if you guys think its reasonable for me to go watch? I think going for 12 hours..... (7am to 7ish 8ish pm) would be soo tiring and i will b exhausted! Also, i almost feel like i am wasting my time...and he might feel like i am tagging along. Would you girls go?

I think i should go only once in a while.....next 4 months are going to be very difficult spending saturdays alone....but at the same time going and tagging alone with him for the whole day doesnt sound fun! if it was just for one game i would go.... he will be playing every weekend for a lot of hours!

Do you guys think this is very common and i should just accept it? the more i resist it the more problems we have and the more i suffer....he doesnt get as affected and he still plays his games... I feel like iv become one of those ppl thats never happy and i hate it