Life without soulmate

SGBV · Apr 8, 2014

Sravanthi dear,

I could not breath normally while reading your post. My heart becomes so heavy, and I lost all my mood while reading here. I can imagine the pain that you are going through. In fact it is unimaginable.

I pray... I plead and I beg to God to give you some peace. To get over this past, and come terms with your present.

I know, I have seen my best friend going through a tough divorce with a little son. It's been some 6 years, and now she is the world's happiest person. She has experienced the worst of everything before she has started tasting the best of anything. Yes, she has grown too high. Her 5 year old little son is very very matured loving kid with all the positives.

Dear, just bite your teeth and hold on for sometimes. Bear your pains, I am sure, you will be healed. After a certain time, the same you will be in top of everything. Peace, happiness, health wise and what not. Your little son will bring every luck to your life soon. God be with you my dear sister. Stay strong!

shantana · Apr 8, 2014

dear sravanthi, my heart goes out to u. pls be strong and positive. everything happens for a reason. HE will be there with u all the time and guide u.

DinkyManoj · Apr 8, 2014

Dear sarvanthi,

My hugs for you dear, I am out of words dear! God is just unfair at times!
Please stay strong dear, cos your son needs you!

stranger127 · Apr 8, 2014

I dont have words to console you..Your DH is watching your agony with pain and will be with you always..God has been v rude to you but your days will not be the same. Change will happen.Have faith.

rose8282 · Apr 8, 2014

Sravanthi, keep in touch with us. Share your pain and you may feel bit lighter. I wish I could give you and your son a tight hug. God has been unfair to your kid. Heart feels heavy to read your words. May you and your son find peace. Love and lots of hugs.

Smitham84 · Apr 8, 2014

My love and hugs to you dear. I don't know what to say .... only thing I can tell you is - be strong ... atleast for your son and for his future .
fate is so unfair at times... but we have to fight and survive for our loved ones . right ? try to distract yourself( I know its easy to say and too hard to do ) . try to concentrate on your career, spend your free time with ur son , take him out , play with him. ,make a new hobby. meet ur friends often. and pls dnt give ur ear to negative / hurting comments from others.. act as if they don't exit . prayer will give u great relief from all the pain you are going through . and don't forget to visit this forum and vent out all your feelings. we all are here for you .
Stay strong dear ...

Sravanthi28 · Apr 10, 2014

Thanks everyone for your kind words. I have seen enough warmth from lot of women in this world. My mom is my greatest strength, who bears all my frustrations day and night. She listens to my words for hours together and tries to wipe my tears away. I have very close friends, three of them are like second mothers to me. i have met them in differnt stages of my life and they are extemely supportive in providing moral support to me at this phase. I can claim that i am thoroughly blessed in this department.
i have changed my home and office. Few of my new collegues are aware of my maritial status and nobody asks me too many questions which is a big relief to me. And for all others, they have no clue because i dress and behave very normal. I talk a lot of my dh , like he is present even now. And i smile a lot when i talk of him. i am not guilty of anything that i do now.. shopping or eating out or dressing or anything. i believe that if God wants me to lead a lonesome life, i need to relax first and be tough. Right on the funeral day, some relatives commented that this girl is not cring. My actions were not in my hands. He died just infront of my eyes. I just didnot know how to react, shocked to the core. Even now, its the same with me, i dont know if this is a dream or the 12 years that i had known him was a dream. I do not care of society anymore. If they say good things, it is fine.If they bad things, that is also fine. I realize that my journey is only mine and not others.
I try to give my kid the same lifestyle that he had when he had a father. i pray lot and started yoga from sometime. Attended few yoga classes but could not continue as i was not able to concentrate and somehow the serenity or calmness disturbs me lot. So took a break from it.Whenever i feel depressed, i buy a kurti or some accessories for me on the way to home. Doesnot give me any happiness, just a divertion. I have not even worn them even once , after i bought them. i started watching more serials, comedy shows and movies, anything as long as i dont go into trauma ...
A long post ..

Laks09 · Apr 11, 2014

Sravanthi,
I can't even put myself in your shoes. It is really tough to lose a loving partner. Looks like you are slowly trying to cope though. Thank God for your Mom. I'm sure she will continue to be your pillar of strength. I'm glad you are trying to move on. In time, you will be able to look back at all the good times and feel truly happy about having gotten all that time together. Keep doing whatever it takes to keep you going. Plus, the change of jobs is a good thing. A new environment helps.
I wish you had access to a support group or a grief counsellor but looks like your Mom is doing all that fairly well.
I wish you are able to make peace and move on. All the Best.

urmilaraj · Apr 11, 2014

Hugs to you dear.

pinky2cute · Apr 11, 2014

Dear sravanthi,

Hugs to you. Though people say everything happens for a reason, that reason will never be enough to justify all the pain you are going through.

Really glad that you've a lovely understanding and supportive mother to hear your cries and caring bro & dad to hold you and give support in need.

I know life is so cruel and God is unfair sometimes.
I know how you feel when people say youre strong. They dont understand that Being strong is not a choice but the need to survive.

May Sai keep you and your son safe and healthy.
Take care.