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Help. Cosis apparently hates me.

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by HasteRaho, Jan 15, 2014.

  1. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    She might have her own reasons for acting the way she does.It must not be easy having everyone gang up against her.Don't force yourself on her. It can be very irritating.Just let it go.Your forcing the issue will only spoil relations between brothers further as the BIL likes his wife, like your husband likes you.He will stand by her and that will further spoil relations. Your constant attempt to be the "good person" is getting a reaction . Stop doing that .

    If you have not been invited,don't go. How is your going uninvited to their place and not eating going to help relations? It looks more like pouring oil on fire.

    You should just stop trying to fix family problems.If someone should ,it should be your inlaws...but they don't like her either.Just enjoy being the good person and let her be what she wants to be. As for the brothers...they are adults.If they want to connect,they can do so without involving their wives.
     
  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    1. What is your definition of "serious profession"?

    2. Did she need the help? Ask for it? Or you offered it without those two happening?

    3. Why are you being "supportive" and "encouraging" of her? You are her co-sis who lives far away, married only two years, and busy with your own life.

    4. How difficult and a low priority can it be to connect with prospective in-laws? If you cannot call in the day, call in the night, if not the same night, within the next 1-2 days. You were not able to spare 10-20 minutes a few times then, and now you are the ideal bahu, co-sis and DIL?

    I only wanted to provide some food for thought. Just let her be. Back off. Things will settle.


     
  3. generic

    generic Gold IL'ite

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    It's obvious that she does'nt like u...Then why do u keep trying to connect with her? Just leave her alone and maintain minimum contact with her...Follow the policy of treating people the same way they treat u...If u haven't been invited, don't go...ur DH is not forcing u to go for the event right...It's better to stay home than go there and hear taunts from her...If u are questioned by PILs, u can just mention these reasons to them. She treats u like this only becz u give more importance to her.
     
  4. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    HR, when you reach 10 posts, send me a PM. I am a woman of Indian descent, born and raised in a country outside of India, married to a man from India. I have a BIL and SIL there, too. You and I have a lot to talk about ;)
     
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  5. sheztheone

    sheztheone Platinum IL'ite

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    :rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl:rotfl
     
  6. anahita5

    anahita5 Gold IL'ite

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    i don't get the logic behind you going to the party but not eating the food. What are you trying to prove ? I think you are trying to hard. May be you and your co-sis are different people and never be best of friends. Your definition of support might be her definition of intrusion.
     
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  7. Anitap

    Anitap IL Hall of Fame

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    So you haven't heard yet?????

    So make use of the reply all feature and keep me in the loop. ;-)

    .

    .
     
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  8. Ansuya

    Ansuya Platinum IL'ite

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    No, I hadn't! Thanks for the info. I'm guessing this is a measure to discourage spammers/trolls/jerks. I hope it works.

    And I have a feeling the "Reply All" feature is just going to get me intro trouble. I have a history of pressing all the wrong buttons at the wrong time (not my fault, I'm from a time when even the TV was a new and wondrous device).
     
  9. Endlesshope

    Endlesshope Platinum IL'ite

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    I don't get it,just like how your DH is fighting for you so is your BIL, now why is it wrong that he supports his wife ?
    Not a good thing to discuss co-sis with your inlaws. Looks like you are apparently pushing it a little too far.
     
  10. sunshine1970

    sunshine1970 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi how do you know that you are not invited to the party. Usually when we are invited to something either someone will contact me or my DH - not both and we assume we both are invited. At any rate I would not go if I were you. The lady can't stand you and you want to keep getting in her face. You also my dear are not going with a clean heart, you say you are not going to eat anything there, I think this is your way of jabbing at them. To tell you the truth it sounds like you did not give them the time of day in the beginning when they were reaching out, even though time differences etc you can still send emails, leave voicemails etc. I think they got fed up with always trying and gave up. You should have thought about the DH and BIL relationship then. I think that ship has sailed and you should just let your DH and that family have a relationship and you stay out of it. I would not keep harassing her as you are, because she will think you are feeling guilty and want something from her when you don't. I am sorry if I may sound harsh but just going by what you posted. Some people are like that they give you one chance as they did in the beginning and if you mess it up that's it, is this right ? no but you can't change that. Also you should not take the burden of keeping the brothers together this is not your responsibility.
     
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